Elderly parents and mobile phones - getting them to use or at least call

Errata

Any suggestions?

Yes - you and your wife ring him every couple of hours or more frequently than that if necessary.

Savvy_Sue

Older minds can become less 'resilient', I think.

The in-laws are the same: MIL will just about use her mobile when we're all meant to be meeting up for the day, but tends to use it, then switch it off and put it back in her bag. Can't access answerphone messages.

Has just about grasped the fact that she can only phone her grandsons on their mobiles ... but phone us on ours if we don't answer her weekly phone call? No, can't be done.

FIL just doesn't use a mobile at all, and has never used a computer. But then, I doubt he could use the dishwasher or the washing machine, as he never has. But then, he has the early stages of dementia.

My feeling is that you won't be able to change him. If he would rather struggle than use things that would make his life easier, that's his choice.

valk_scot

My late mother was firmly of the opinion that she couldn't call my mobile number because she didn't have a mobile phone, it just wouldn't work from a land line. Getting her a mobile phone was not an option, she refused to even think about it. So I put all the relevant numbers on speed dial on my mum's landline phone, it had a card on the front and you just had to dial #1 for my house, #2 for my mobile, #3 and #4 for my sister, #5 for the doctors etc etc. She could cope with that far more easily than having to look up all the different numbers.

We also had an arrangement that she called me once a day at a pre set time, in my case 8am when I was getting the kids ready for school. Most days it would be "Morning, dear, I'm still alive, have a nice day" but if she needed anything we'd arrange for me to phone her back once the kids had gone out. If she didn't call I'd phone her at this time, if she didn't answer after three tries in an hour I'd go round to see she was okay. It worked for us, I'd far rather she'd have just texted in the morning or if she needed shopping but it just wasn't going to happen. It was easier to work with her than try to force her into doing something she'd simply balk at.

[Deleted User]

Errata wrote: »

Yes - you and your wife ring him every couple of hours or more frequently than that if necessary.

??? Why???????

CH27

I ring my Dad once a day around the same time.
He knows when I will be ringing & doesn't panic about stuff as he knows he can talk to me when I phone. Maybe you could do something similar?

He will ring my mobile in an emergency.

Savvy_Sue

valk_scot wrote: »

It was easier to work with her than try to force her into doing something she'd simply balk at.

And that is what it boils down to, IMO.

OP, is there a reason you can't phone your Dad at lunchtime every day?

Errata

[quote=[Deleted User];61452497]??? Why???????[/QUOTE]
Because he keeps ringing your landline and when he gets no answer rings it over and over? Because he won't call you during office hours even when he needs to? Because your mobile is within hands reach 24/7 and easily used for you to call him?
Try and cut him some slack, he won't be around forever. So "If the mountain won't come to Mohammed then Mohammed must go to the mountain"

Savvy_Sue

BTW, one reason why using a mobile phone is difficult is that the keys may be small and fiddly - I know you can get larger models, but if all you can demonstrate on is small and fiddly, it's a bit tricky.

And don't get me started on smart phones and tablets: I'm reasonably techie, but I hate them with a passion! Just CANNOT get the hang of swiping, and the way the screen moves makes my head feel funny. Dreading when I have to replace my 'normal' mobile with one of these new-fangled devices!

Another issue is the way we demonstrate things - Mum complains that my brother shows her how to do something on the computer, but he goes too fast and doesn't let her try it herself enough times. I'm more patient. I'm grinding my teeth, but I am more patient. I have patiently explained that it's not her google which has broken, what she means is that she has a problem with her internet browser. I have even done trouble shooting via TextRelay (she is very deaf and cannot use a phone), relying on my memory of what she needs to do as she describes the various screens to me (badly).

But then I have a colleague who is just the same, has no grasp of what I mean when I say "which browser do you use" and answers "I like my google."

[Deleted User]

Errata wrote: »

Because he keeps ringing your landline and when he gets no answer rings it over and over? Because he won't call you during office hours even when he needs to? Because your mobile is within hands reach 24/7 and easily used for you to call him?
Try and cut him some slack, he won't be around forever. So "If the mountain won't come to Mohammed then Mohammed must go to the mountain"

I see what you're saying but its not always practical or, indeed, possible.

CupOfChai

I'm the same with touchscreen phones Savvy_Sue, and I'm only 28. For some reason they do not obey my hands!