Popping the question

paulineb_2

SuzieSue wrote: »

Yes, it does and getting married during it is not a good idea. As they say, act in haste repent at leisure. Unless you are in your 70s, you've got decades ahead of you and so there is no hurry. Even if you want to get married because her biological clock is ticking, it is still not a good idea until the loved up stage has passed,

I know someone who met someone, also on plenty of fish, they started seeing one another in August, he proposed in Feb, they live over 400 miles apart and do see one another but I have to admit when I heard they were getting married, I thought I hope it works, but why the rush?

I dont actually think it matters too much how long you've been together or whether you've had rows or not, but I agree very much that at the start of a relationship there is a honeymoon period, when that wears off (and it does for some people), you want to know that even in your most irritating moments or if you go through tough stuff, illness, work issues, that you'll still care for one another even when life gets in the way.

Its all individual, what might be too soon for one person wont be for another, but its a huge deal marriage, I think a lot of people want to be married, but dont see beyond that.

I'll also say that I have several friends who got married young, in their 20s and all of them are now on marriage number 2, again I am generalising, but sometimes the person you want to be with at one stage in your life, isnt the person you'll remain with.

I have a friend who is marrying this year after being with his gf for 15 years and theyve lived together for the last 10 or so. Living together is a test in itself and you are doing that, I hope it works out for you whatever happens over the next wee while.

jenhug

I knew within 2 weeks I wanted to marry my now husband. I was 17. I was told at the time I could do better, would regret it because I was too young etc. Now been together since 1995, and married for 15 years this July.

If its right, its right.

Robin_TBW

Definitely too soon.

MattLcfc

Hi all, just thought I'd clear something up, I plan to propose whilst on holiday but I imagine it will probably be 2015 before we could realistically afford to get married, I'm not planning on a quick marriage or anything like that.

For me I'm certain that me and my girlfriend are perfect for each other, I'm happier now then I have ever been. We often talk about the future and our dreams of getting married, buying our first home together and starting a family, by getting engaged I see it as a way of committing to our dreams together.

I went to see her Mum last night and asked for her blessing and she was over the moon. I'm certain this is what I want and guess I asked the question on her just to gauge what others thought before speaking to her mum and letting close family know. Both my parents, her mum and my siblings think it's great, I just can't wait to be on the beach now and see her reaction when I ask

Joons

Nice to read a happy story esp after ye'day horrific news, good on you, hope you are both very happy.

Just picking up on some posts here, how can you be with someone for years and never argue - that must be soooooooooooooooo boring. Arguing is normal, not every day or week but I don't get how a couple can live together be it married or not and not have arguments about anything - sounds like an ideal life but totally unrealistic. I think the true test of a relationship is going through the bad times together and sticking together. In the beginning, it's amazing, exciting, you can't see anything but perfection in your partner but as time goes on we all find faults with each other and living together can be hard at times.

Orlando_Virgin

First of all OP I just want to say good luck to you and your fiance to be if that's what you feel is right and you decide to do.

My opinion is that it's too soon. But that's going from my past experience. There are just SO many things you find out about a person over the first couple of years after the honeymoon period, both good and bad. I just can't understand how people can be so sure they want to spend the rest of their lives together (the biggest commitment you'll ever take) after a matter of months.

That being said, reading some of the posts on here, it can be done, and those people proved me wrong. I think they are in a minority though. It's only my opinion though and if you're convinced it's right Matt, then best of luck to you mate!

Bazey

Go for it man, of course it's not too soon and if she does say yes, just bare in mind that all relationships fail eventually.

heartbreak_star

Oh Bazey.

So cynical.

HBS x

Amanda65

OH and I met in July, started going out in September, he proposed in January and we got married 18 months later - and here we are, 3 children, 3 house moves, several periods of redundancy (industry he is in), loss of parents / friend and 24 years later still holding in there.

It's not all been wine and roses (although as the happybutterfly says wine helps!) but we have a deep love and mutual respect for each other, knew from the start we were heading in the same direction (children, stable family life etc etc) and - he makes me laugh, quite a lot actually .

To those who say it's too early I wonder if perhaps you just haven't met the 'one' yet? I was engaged before (at 19 and stupid :eek:) and really couldn't imagine spending my life with my ex - with my husband I knew we were both in it for the duration and time would have made no difference to me.

Good luck OP and I hope your GF is as thrilled and excited as you are.

kettlefish

IMHO if you've both agreed you're each others' "The One" and said you intend to marry one another then you are engaged.

The fancy proposal in Turkey and the ring is just a way of letting other people know that intention.

We got engaged officially after 15 months. We didn't live together and I was only in my 1st year of uni.

Some of my friends whose OHs are waiting until X amount of time together or until after her sister's wedding or until they go on a big holiday so he can make a grand gesture when he proposes have got fed up and moved on, or else it's ruined every birthday / Christmas / Valentine's day as they are just waiting for the proposal.