Popping the question

SuzieSue

marisco wrote: »

I dont feel it is necessary to have been through an argument in a relationship to determine how strong it is or how compatible people are as a couple. More I think it comes down to them having had time to go through a few of lifes ups and downs together to establish this.

A couple will soon realise whether or not they can pull together as a team and can work their way through problems and issues. These times will also flag up how good they are at communicating, listening and compromising.

No, it isn't necessary, but if they have had one, then it can help them to see if they can pull together as a team or if one of them is selfish.

lady1964

Me & my DH got engaged 6 weeks after we met, moved in together a month after that, we got married 10 months after that and had our first DD 7 months after that, followed by another 2 kids. We're still very happy together nearly 26 years on. We do row but we always get through it and we've had highs & lows like most people but we work through it together.

My middle DD got engaged last night. She & her now fianc! have been together for 6 years, lived together for 2 years, broke up, got back together 6 weeks later after they had both moved back to their family homes. Spent another year living apart but back in their relationship. They moved back in together a year ago and he just proposed. He asked my DH for his permission, which is a really nice thing to do. They are both 22 so got together very young. They have no kids, both have good careers and a decent income between them.

I would say to the OP: Go for it if you're absolutely sure. Circumstances might dictate how successful the relationship remains, ie kids, home, finances etc, only the OP knows those as they've not been shared (unless I've missed a post).

Good luck OP, hope she says yes!

SuzieSue

lady1964 wrote: »

Me & my DH got engaged 6 weeks after we met, moved in together a month after that, we got married 10 months after that and had our first DD 7 months after that, followed by another 2 kids. We're still very happy together nearly 26 years on. We do row but we always get through it and we've had highs & lows like most people but we work through it together.

That's fine, but your relationship would have worked whether you had got engaged 6 weeks or 6 years after you met.

Unfortunately for the OP, he doesn't know if his will work and by leaving it longer before he gets engaged he will increase the odds of it lasting.

katie1812

Go for it! My husband and I were together less than a year before he proposed and we had only been together for three months before we moved in together. We are happily married after four years together.
Good luck!

Stephb1986_2

If it feels right do it! Good luck

Steph xx

lady1964

SuzieSue wrote: »

That's fine, but your relationship would have worked whether you had got engaged 6 weeks or 6 years after you met.

Possibly but I gave up my job and moved 100 miles away from my family & friends to move in with him. I wasn't sure if I was giving up too much, especially as I had to find work and try to make friends in an area I knew nothing about. It could have gone terribly wrong if it hadn't worked and I was only 22 (he was 23) so we were both young too.

Basically, although I loved him very much, it was a gamble which did pay off but it wasn't without its trials.

For me, it's about risk and love, if you truly believe that as a couple the risks are outweighed by the desire and commitment to make it work, then the OP should go for it.

I can't be a hypocrite and say not to go for it given what I did. All I can do is advise that the OP (and anyone else in this situation) be as sure as they can be and that the commitment is there on both of them as a couple.

Edited to add that the OP could always have a long-ish engagement, me & DH got married fairly quickly (inside a year) but the OP doesn't have to do that.

thehappybutterfly

I asked my hubby to marry me after three months. We were married within a year of meeting, moved into our first home 2 days after that and will celebrate 18 years of happy marriage this year. We were also quite young - in our mid twenties - and neither of us had been married before. So it does work but it takes hard work, determination, compromise and cuddles. And wine. Lots of wine.

Pixiechic

If it were me, I would think that it was too soon. I would want to get to know someone better and after so little time together, there is a lot more to get to know!

What's the rush?

That said, it doesn't mean that it won't work out for you, so good luck and have a fab holiday

thehappybutterfly

The key to making our marriage last was not running at the first sign of trouble and not playing mind games with each other. No tit for tat. Mutual respect really.

SuzieSue

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

No tit for tat.

This is so important.