Why do couples who have been together years split up?

warwicktiger

In answer to the original question, I wish I knew. 23+ years together, not all married, a few troubles along the way but all gone nearly three years ago. The sad truth, I still love her.

heartbreak_star

Myself and my ex got together when we he was 17 and me 21. 10 years later, we'd grown into different people and had nothing in common anymore, and no spark.

HBS x

BJV

I think it is very brave of them. Life is short and too many people settle into a routine of second best or just good enough.

People change over time. Some grow together and some grow apart. No-one can say why its just how it is.

P.s I hope never to find out why!

marisco_2

It can come as a shock to people when couples they have known for years, who have always appeared to have really solid marriages, then split up.

Only your friends could tell you why they have decided to go their seperate ways. In truth even with those friends who are closest to us, we are only privvy to a certain amount of knowledge about them. You never really know what goes on behind closed doors or the dynamics of peoples relationships. Parting is often a very difficult decision and one that most couples dont take lightly.

Something that people fear most when leaving a partner, is that they will lose valued friendships. My advice to you is to focus on being a really good friend to both of them. They will each need the support of those closest to them as they adjust to their new lives.

katrina001

My ex and I were the couple no one thought would ever split up. Everyone was utterly shocked when I announced our split. People have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

Tenyearstogo

katrina001 wrote: »

My ex and I were the couple no one thought would ever split up. Everyone was utterly shocked when I announced our split. People have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

Same here. Some people love airing their dirty laundry in public though, if you're private then I imagine that's the time when it shocks.

Orlando_Virgin

It is a strange one. On the same token you could say why do some couples last from teenage sweethearts until their dying days? Some people change, circumstances change, people's wants and needs.

I think the ultimate key to staying together is driving together as a team towards the same goals, but ultimately wanting them to achieve it WITH you.

It's a question millions of people wish they had the answer to.

lostinrates

My parents split after over thirty years. I think it just took them ages to get around to it.

Hermia

red_devil wrote: »

A couple i know, who knew each other as teenagers then got married i n their early 30's and had one child are splitting up. I feel sad and shocked they were the sort of couple you would thought would stay together forever etc. They built a nice home, their son is now grown up and the house in on the market. I believe there is nobody else involved just going their separate ways?

Why just putting it up for discussion. Feel like why?

Maybe the fact that the son is now grown up is part of it. I think a lot of couples are so focused on the kids when they are growing up that they don't notice that the marriage isn't great. When the kids grow up they suddenly realise they have nothing in common or that they don't love each other any more.

I think impending middle or old age can also trigger it. A couple may have been drifting, but the sudden realisation that a person is entering the last phase of their life may make them decide to grab some happiness whilst they can. I know one woman who was unhappy, but put her feelings to one side. When her husband announced he was going to retire the thought of having to see more of him than before made her realise she would rather be alone.

Joons

I've known a lot of couples who, on the outside appear the perfect couple but then found out that they certainly are not. I think getting married young can make life together difficult as you age, you maybe feel you have missed out on being single or just being with someone else, I don't believe that there is only one person out there for you, I think there can be more. At least nowadays, we don't lie in the bed we make, women are much more empowered to say they've had enough and actually get up and leave without fear of financial ruin or scorn. If they've been together that long then that's a testament to a good relationship I would say, not a failure, just a natural ending perhaps.