How much should grown up children contribute to household

HoneyAndLemon

I pay £300 a month, and buy own food and washing/toiletries on top of that. Plus do all my own cooking, washing etc.

Earn around £1100 per month.

InsideInsurance

I have to say that as someone who had to pay a percentage to his parent that it felt "unfair" that if I were to do overtime or do better sales etc that I had to pay more to the home and yet got nothing "more" for it.

For me a fixed amount is a better way forward

heartbreak_star

I paid £200 a month when I was earning £800 a month

HBS x

jinty271

We sorted out a 3 -way split of their basic wages for our sons once they were working. ( any overtime worked was theirs to keep, as a reward for working extra hard)

33% for their keep.
33% for their savings.
33% for their spends.


We then saved the 33% "keep" money for them ( un-beknown to them) & returned it to them when they left home, to allow for deposits, furniture etc.


I appreciate this is not always possible, so if our circumstances were different, I think we would have gone for a proportionate share of the running costs of the home (depending on their earnings) plus additional costs if they wanted their laundry / ironing done for them, or any extra Sky costs etc.

Wicked_witch

I know I will be charging my son a flat rate of £50 a week when he starts work (and he knows that too), because that is the smallest amount I can afford to take. It won't go up, except allowing for inflation, when his wage does.

lazer

I would say it depends on the following:

Do you want him to continue to live at home or do you want him to move out?

Has he lived away before (ie: at university) so has some experience of paying bills and real life so it is not about teaching him about the real world and is simply about him paying his share?

If your son moved out would you get a lodger to share the bills - of yes, then I would charge him his full share of the bills, if not, then I would only charge him the extra cost of him living there.

Does he do his share of the housework?

If you are going to charge him lodger rates are you going to treat him the same as you treat a lodger and recognise that he is an adult?

For reference purposes - I paid nothing when i lived at home - my parents wouldn't take anything off me as It a temporary arrangement as I was looking for a house to buy, and had just moved home from my university town to the local area - they were delighted to have me home again (After almost 10 years away - but I was still home on a regular basis) - I did however buy a bit of shopping now and then, take them out for dinner and generally just show my appreciation to them.

miss_kc

Hi thanks all for the helpful replies. I guess I am trying to get my son to take some responsibility and I do need him to pay something towards his keep. He didn't go to uni although he had my support to go, studied but didn't finish anything. He has been working full time for over 2 years now and takes home around 1200 per mth. I pay all of the bills, buy food toiletries etc and do all of the household chores. He doesn't even buy lunch he takes it from home. He doesn't save but spends every penny on going out and clothes often running out of money a week or two before payday. I will read again what you have all suggested and try and reach a compromise with him so thanks again all x

marmitepotato

Any parent who doesn't charge their grown up working child something isn't doing that child any favours. Children (no matter how old they are) need a valuable lesson in money management. It doesn't matter what the parent does with that money, but they have a duty to teach offspring that living doesn't come for free and bills must be paid.

A long long time ago, when I left school and got my first job I earned £22 a week (40hrs,). My Mum took £10 of that (I was aghast!), she gave me the local paper and asked me to find a place of my own for £10 a week. Of course I couldn't find anything. It was then I realised £10 a week was a good deal and I still had money to save as well as spend from my left over £12. Oh happy days!

marisco_2

I haven't got to this stage yet with my two boys but have found this thread interesting to read. When I was still living at home I use to pay my parents £100 a month, it was all they wanted from me. I realised though that this was a very reasonable amount, so use to help out with chores when I could. My dad had sat me down and explained the cost of things like the mortgage, utilities, phone, insurance etc so I could appreciate just how much it costs to run a family home.

He didn't want me going out into the big wide world and suddenly being shocked by the reality of just how much it costs to run a home and a life. Something that stood me in really good stead when I began living independantly and that I will always appreciate him doing.

StuC75

Carefull how much you push though, as a single parent you are as much in each others 'debt' in this scenario.. IF he were to move out how would that affect you? What would you save? and what would you have problems covering?

Council tax - single person discount - so think of having him pay a contribution.

Gas & Electricity - Not so easy to say he's using 50%.. as much would still be used..

Water - are you on meter or do you pay rates?

Food - does he buy his own, are work meals included etc..

Its as much a case of him standing on his feet financially, as it is assisting you in handling a reduction in income (what do you then do when he meets someone and moves out?)..