Neurolinguistic programming

dancingfairy

I'm quite shocked by some of the anti views to be honet. I'm surprised people seem so against it. I guess it's like anything - any counsellor/life coach etc. People can manipulate it for their own ends. My understanding was that was it was about trying to see things from different points of view, and understand how different people could view the same situation very differently depennding on their past experiences etc. In that sense it would seem helpful to me.
I'm not sure I would go for a massively expensive course of anything - maybe get a book or 2 from the library (or even amazon if you wanted to buy)?
df

RAS

Going to set the cat among the pigeons here................

Do I think NLP works - yes as it has had a major effect on my life.

Do I think NLP is the be all of everything and a great cure - no.

Asking psycholgists about NLP is like asking medical doctors to big up chiropractors; they just come at it from completely different angles. And watch psychologist and psychiatrists fight it out.

A lot of NLP is based on hypnosis which works some of the time. There are close links between NLP and a lot of CBT which is the current cure all.

And if you have ever had to deal with sales people and their yes-sets you will realise that NLP can be used for good or harm. And a lot of abusers have skills that others would recognise if they had learned some NLP.

What NLP does not do is make you a great person; some of the gurus are not people I want in my social circle (and I would not name names as they would sue me).

Very basic things; understand language patterns. I was new, got into a lot of problems with a fairly senior person who repeatedly bad mouthed me to my boss.

I think visually and can see solutions before I can frame words. The senior person objected to my failing to listen to her. I realised her mode was auditory, listened, slowed down (auditory is SLOW) responded, "I hear what you are saying? What you are saying is.....?" She decide that I respected her and was the best thing since sliced bread. The suggestions I made were the same but I used her choice of language to express them. Helped me but almost certainly helped my employer as well.

On a deeper note my childhood/adolscence was pretty difficult and I was very much half empty and full of reasons why I could not do things. I could not talk about large chunks of my life even with close family. I did a little exercise which helped me connect with the good instances in my early life and as a result became more of a half full person.

I had both lots of experiences but previously the nice ones were inaccessible because I could not go anywhere near any of the stuff so the bad stuff was the only thing I ever responded to.

On the other hand there are some people who like the power that goes with being able to mess with other people's brains and have little or no respect for others but have the skills to do stuff. Hopefully their lack of integrity means that they are less effective at messing with people. This maybe what Hanky Panky and fluffnutter have encountered.

Person_one

Have to agree with the consensus that NLP is a load of tripe.

However, if you want to empower yourself a bit and try to adapt behaviours that you aren't happy with, I'm a huge fan of CBT. You can ask for a referral from your GP but lots of people use 'teach yourself' books which are still really enlightening if they're by a reputable author.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cognitive-Behavioural-Therapy-For-Dummies/dp/0470665416/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1368551629&sr=8-3&keywords=cbt

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Little-Workbook-Michael-Sinclair/dp/185458670X/ref=pd_sim_b_1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Change-Your-Thinking-CBT-Overcome/dp/0091906954/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1368551659&sr=1-2&keywords=cbt

RAS

CBT is slagged of by a lot of people as a short-term fix. Not sure what the long-term outcomes are?

Person_one

RAS wrote: »

CBT is slagged of by a lot of people as a short-term fix. Not sure what the long-term outcomes are?

Much better than for NLP.

RAS

Person_one wrote: »

Much better than for NLP.

Evidence. please????

Person_one

RAS wrote: »

Evidence. please????

Admittedly, the evidence for long term CBT in serious or chronic illness is not as good as the evidence for its short term usefulness.

However, the OP isn't ill, she just wants to make a few changes. CBT techniques, once learned, can be remembered and used forever.

If you want to see the evidence, put 'CBT' into the search box of the Cochrane Library, MedLine or even Google Scholar. Then do the same for NLP and compare! :rotfl:

j.e.j.

Re-reading the original post, I wonder if the OP would also find assertiveness training useful?

RAS

Maybe that just indicates that more studies have been done of the efficacy of CBT because it is the flavour of the month and that is what people can get research grants for?

Personally, I have used about half a dozen "therapies" at different times. None of them is a magic bullet and the things that worked for me in one are often very similar to things that work in other therapies, just using a different techniques and coming at the issue from a different angle. I decline to push any one set of techniques and have a pretty catholic attitude to which I use.

Learning to moderate physical responses, learning to spot and hold onto good things in life, learning to look at things from a different angle or even for another person's perspective, learning to reflect on whether a view, comment passed, or belief has any basis in fact are all skills taught by a lot of different therapies.

gwen80

j.e.j. wrote: »

Re-reading the original post, I wonder if the OP would also find assertiveness training useful?

Ha! That's funny. Only because I used to be the most unassertive person you've ever met, I had no boundaries...I actually thought I had to accept whatever rubbish people dished out to me. I've improved a lot in that regard, but maybe still work to do?