Where to hide a secret camera

anniemf2508

gwen80 wrote: »

My approach would have probably been something like:

1. Think of who is most likely to be taking/eating the food. The OP has already done this and has concluded that it's most likely to be her daughter.
2. I'd probably keep a closer eye on her behaviour, general eating habits and see if I could pick up any clues....does she go to the bathroom shortly after every meal...has her mood changed...is she still doing the same things she used to...anything.
3. I'd maybe have a few chats with her generally 'Is everything ok? Are there any problems at the moment? You know you can talk to me about anything, don't you?' etc.
4. After a few of those, if nothing was forthcoming, I'd have a conversation along the lines of 'I've noticed there is food going from the kitchen at night? Are you still hungry at night? Do you think you could be eating in your sleep?'
5. Still nothing maybe same conversation again, but with 'You know if you had any issues with food or otherwise, you could talk to me don't you'

Basically I'd take a very softly, softly approach. I definitely wouldn't view it as stealing, if they're my children they can have whatever food they like. I would look to work on the relationship and by offering love, support and patience I would hope in time they would feel comfortable enough to speak to me.

i have done ALL of that....and never have i said it is stealing!

olias

OP, you have variously said that your problem is:
Being annoyed at having no bread left for your breakfast or for packed lunches.
Worried that your daughter is eating whilst sleepwalking
Worried that your daughter has an eating disorder and is binge eating (on just a few slices of bread and some cocktail sausages?)
Worried that your daughter will eat raw sausages whilst asleep and be ill
Worried that your daughter is too hungry and therefore needs more food.
Which is it?
You have also stated that you yourself have 'issues with food' bad enough to have been to an eating disorders clinic.
I do think (hard as it may be for you to admit), that 'if' your daughter has a problem with food, then it may well be as a result of learned behaviour from you (counting bread slices, using covert cameras, counting the number of cocktail sausages/cheese strings/snickers bars and hiding them). 'If' she is developing a problem, then is it any wonder she eats behind your back and will not speak with you about it?
Alternatively, there may be issues of Munchausen by proxy syndrome (MBPS), in that you are placing your own issues onto your child to draw attention away from yourself and your problems.

And before I get flamed by all unsundry, I have first hand knowledge of similar issues with my wife who has suffered from eating disorders for 30-40 years, directly attributable to her mothers own issues with food and her behaviour with her daughter regarding food.

I suggest you look at discussing these possibilities with a professional.

Olias

gwen80

Mojisola wrote: »

I think all this has already been done.

Maybe it has, but picking up on some of the language that's been used in this thread, I'm not sure if it's been done sensitively. We'll never know. You asked how I'd deal with it and that's how.

If all that has been done, I'd still be being patient, supportive and waiting it out though. No cameras, no forcing the issue, just gentle observation for their wellbeing and trying to encourage a positive relationship with food.

I'd be thinking about what happened 2 years-18 months ago and maybe talking to my daughter about it (if there is anything?). I'd be keeping my eyes open for any signs of anxiety and/or depression.

I honestly can't see what benefit using a camera offers?

anniemf2508

olias wrote: »

OP, you have variously said that your problem is:
Being annoyed at having no bread left for your breakfast or for packed lunches.
Worried that your daughter is eating whilst sleepwalking
Worried that your daughter has an eating disorder and is binge eating (on just a few slices of bread and some cocktail sausages?)
Worried that your daughter will eat raw sausages whilst asleep and be ill
Worried that your daughter is too hungry and therefore needs more food.
Which is it?
You have also stated that you yourself have 'issues with food' bad enough to have been to an eating disorders clinic.
I do think (hard as it may be for you to admit), that 'if' your daughter has a problem with food, then it may well be as a result of learned behaviour from you (counting bread slices, using covert cameras, counting the number of cocktail sausages/cheese strings/snickers bars and hiding them). 'If' she is developing a problem, then is it any wonder she eats behind your back and will not speak with you about it?
Alternatively, there may be issues of Munchausen by proxy syndrome (MBPS), in that you are placing your own issues onto your child to draw attention away from yourself and your problems.

And before I get flamed by all unsundry, I have first hand knowledge of similar issues with my wife who has suffered from eating disorders for 30-40 years, directly attributable to her mothers own issues with food and her behaviour with her daughter regarding food.

I suggest you look at discussing these possibilities with a professional.

Olias

its a combination of your above points, yes getting up in the morning and there is no bread left is extremely annoying when due to my SED that is what i eat for breakfast.
I didn't imply that i thought my daughter had an eating disorder until other people picked up on it, i'm more on the lines of her sleep eating. The eating raw sausages etc while asleep does worry me. And i do wonder if shes sleep eating because shes going to bed hungry.

Yes i was assessed by an eating disorder clinic but i was deemed as not having one as SED isn't recognised as one.

I never said i count the food all the time, the bread i noticed yesterday because i was making sandwiches last night. Its not difficult to work out that if you buy an 8 pack of cheese strings, take 2 out for packed lunches and the next day there is only 2 left, you know some are missing. Same with the other food.

Yes i do worry that my own issues will transfer to her but she has a really healthy attitude to food, will try anything and always eats all her meals without any fuss.

I understand you have experience of this yourself but all cases are different.

gwen80

anniemf2508 wrote: »

once i know what i'm dealing with, we'll go from there with whatever solution it needs.

Whatever the problem is (and if it is your daughter taking the food), her cooperation will help!

Mojisola

gwen80 wrote: »

I honestly can't see what benefit using a camera offers?

Identifying the person concerned.

What if you focused all your attention on your daughter and it was really yourself (sleepwalking and eating) or your husband doing the eating?

anniemf2508

gwen80 wrote: »

I'd be thinking about what happened 2 years-18 months ago and maybe talking to my daughter about it (if there is anything?). I'd be keeping my eyes open for any signs of anxiety and/or depression.

What happened 2 years ago was that we moved house...before that she shared a room with her brother and the house had extremely creaky floorboards so i (or her brother) would have heard her get up and go downstairs.

gwen80

Mojisola wrote: »

Identifying the person concerned.

What if you focused all your attention on your daughter and it was really yourself (sleepwalking and eating) or your husband doing the eating?

I imagine I'd be more confident that myself and my husband didn't have an eating disorder, not have damaged the relationship with my family and have handled things as well as I could in the event that there had been an eating disorder.

Mojisola

gwen80 wrote: »

I imagine I'd be more confident that myself and my husband didn't have an eating disorder, not have damaged the relationship with my family and have handled things as well as I could in the event that there had been an eating disorder.

I'd prefer proof that it was my daughter before I started treating her as if it was her, despite her denials.

gwen80

But in the meantime I don't see what harm working on the relationship and expressing concern for her wellbeing could have done? All you'd have done is worked on the relationship with your daughter and made it very clear that any problems she has, she can come to you.