What would you do

msb5262

Hi OP,

I think in your position I'd get married fairly soon, then after the baby has arrived, maybe splash some of the wedding savings on a big party to celebrate your marriage and the baby's birth. The best of all possible worlds?

(must admit I don't think it's the midwife's business to make suggestions like this but to be fair, I think your priorities will change a great deal over the next few months...)

lazer

I see from your signature that you over £16k in total savings and ave £4k saved towards your £10k wedding.

What I would do is take the £4k and maybe a little bit extra from your other savings (say £1k) giving you £5k and try and get a £10k wedding for £5k.

As you are pregnant and want to get married before the birth - I am guessing we a re talking a wedding organised in a few months - which means late deals.

Find a venue you want and get the best deal you possibly can - at short notice if the hotel has a free date, you will get a good deal on it!

loracan1

peachyprice wrote: »

Erm, I would ignore the midwife who seems to be still living in the past and do what I wanted. As long as your OH comes with you to register the birth and is named on the certificate he gets the same parental rights as if you were married.

With such antiquated views (and not just having the view, but openly expressing it!) I'd half expect her to be boiling up buckets of water and hot towels at the birth.

marisco_2

loracan1 wrote: »

With such antiquated views (and not just having the view, but openly expressing it!) I'd half expect her to be boiling up buckets of water and hot towels at the birth.

Me too. I'd not be 'calling that midwife'. It is the only time in life where I believe in drugs all the way.

SuzieSue

Definitely A, but then you are asking on a money saving site, so it is likely that a lot (if not most) people here would say A.

Lunar_Eclipse

janninew wrote: »

I would also go for option A. I'm quite a traditional person and I would want to be married before I had a baby.

Do what makes you happy.

This! For the same reasons stated, nothing to do with the midwife's opinion.

Frith

I might go for A, as my wedding cost lost than £500.

Then I'd look for another midwife who wasn't nosey!

janninew

I wonder what would happen if you weren't married and your partner had complications in pregnancy and during the delivery, who would be next of kin and get to make any medical decisions? I only wonder as I had a complicated delivery and my husband had to give medical consent as I was unable. I wonder if this is what the midwife was getting at?

Mojisola

lippy1923 wrote: »

Your midwife strongly suggested getting hitched before the birth, for father's rights/ birth certificate reasons etc even if it was just a quick registry office wedding.

As long as he goes with you to register the birth, he can be named on it and the baby can be given either surname and he will have parental responsibility.

Janepig

janninew wrote: »

I wonder what would happen if you weren't married and your partner had complications in pregnancy and during the delivery, who would be next of kin and get to make any medical decisions? I only wonder as I had a complicated delivery and my husband had to give medical consent as I was unable. I wonder if this is what the midwife was getting at?

I know someone this happened to. Mother had a c section, baby was very ill and had to be taken immediately to a hospital 50 miles away with father, who was unable to give consent for baby's treatment as he and the mother were unmarried. This was about two years ago. Obviously the chances of that happening are slim but personally I wouldn't be having a baby with someone I wouln't be prepared to marry anyway so I would go for the cheap wedding ASAP.

Jx