What would you do

lippy1923

Imagine you have been with your OH for nearly 7 years.

Your saving up for your dream wedding and expect to have enough money in another 2 years. All going slowly but smoothly then boom! An unexpected baby is on the way

Your midwife strongly suggested getting hitched before the birth, for father's rights/ birth certificate reasons etc even if it was just a quick registry office wedding.

Would you go with option

A- Have a cheap wedding, throwing all your current plans down the loo.

B- Forget about the cheap idea and continue saving for dream wedding, meaning you will not be married in time for the birth and knowing it will likely take a hell of a lot more time saving than original 2 year plan, due to baby costs, reduced pay (mat leave) and other bigger priorities.

C- Other?????

WWUD?

Gingernutty

Nothing is set in stone, plans change. Option A.

Person_one

Dad just needs to be named on the birth certificate to get his parental rights. Being unmarried just means he needs to go in person. I think your midwife might be a bit out of date.

If it were me, I'd do A because weddings aren't really my thing. If its important to you though then B is fine. It's actually quite nice when the couple's children are old enough to be excited about them getting married! My nephew will be 5 when his mum and dad finally get around to it, but they've had wills and financials sorted for years.

74jax

My dream wedding, is basically me and OH turning up and getting married. We've been together 8 years and so I just want to his wife. The wedding is not remotely important to me.

I'm not sure though what WE would do will help you.

Everyone has completely different views on weddings/marriage. You have to do what is right and what you both want.

If you've been saving and still need two years until you can have your dream wedding, then i'm guessing the 'wedding' part is important.

Could you get get married now and have the party in 2 years?

I really can't advise as it's so very personal.

peachyprice

Erm, I would ignore the midwife who seems to be still living in the past and do what I wanted. As long as your OH comes with you to register the birth and is named on the certificate he gets the same parental rights as if you were married.

neneromanova

Why not get married now for cheap and then plan a lovely renewal of vows 5, 10 years down the line?

catkins

Well as someone who just cannot see the point in expensive weddings I would go for option A.

I got married over 30 years ago and had a very cheap wedding but it was great. Some of the best weddings I have been to have been ones that did not cost a lot.

Also been to some flashy expensive ones, a lot of which I didn't enjoy and most of the couples are now divorced!

I also personally would not have had a baby without being married but I realise that not everyone feels the way I do.

I think if you decide to wait the wedding will quite possibly become further and further away in the future. A child is going to cost a lot of money and, depending on your jobs etc, will you be able to save much?

I know quite a lot of couples who say they want to get married but now they have children they can't afford it - well what they really mean is they can't afford an expensive wedding as just getting in married in a church or register office doesn't cost that much.

Stephb1986_2

I would personally get married now before the baby comes have a small intimate wedding with close family and friends doesn't mean it's not going to be special.

Babies cost an awful lot of money so if getting married to you means so much why not do it now? As long as you two are married then whats the problem? Just because you haven't spent a fortune on the day doesn't make you any less married than the next person, the rest of the money can go towards nursery equipment etc.

Steph x

Money_maker

TBH, I cannot understand saving the equivalent of a good house deposit on a ceremony which is all over within one day.

It's up to you if you want a quickie wedding - although I'm all for getting married before starting a family but I don't see what business it is of the midwife.

Your decision but think carefully how years of saving for one day of wedding will affect the rest of your life.

Kaz2904

I'd do A. Purely because dreams change and that money you have saved could be put to far better use now that a baby's on the way (like bigger house or longer off work). You could still have dream wedding but on a budget.

securityguy

neneromanova wrote: »

Why not get married now for cheap and then plan a lovely renewal of vows 5, 10 years down the line?

Because "renewal of vows" has everyone you invite pondering which of the happy couple it was that had the affair, and for extra marks trying to figure out with whom.