Wedding Help for Indecisive Couple Please!

jlp100

duchy wrote: »

Is your OH not keen on a traditional wedding here so Vegas was a way of "persuading" them by any chance ?

No, neither of us are keen on the £15,000 wedding (which we don't have). We want it to be about the fact we want to be wed.

It was his idea from the start... He has not been 'persuaded'...

jlp100

PasturesNew wrote: »

Oh, in that case I'd be pleased you weren't getting married there any more as that'd have involved logistics of another outfit, a day out of the "holiday" and how to smuggle your present in my case.

I do love a good bout of sarcasm... thank you for your input..

I am just selfish wondering how to please everyone....

jlp100

CH27 wrote: »

If it's so important for the son to be involved why did you book a wedding without including him in the first place?

Nothing has been booked.... trying involve the son before that happens.

elsien

I understand you don't want OH son to feel left out. But I do agree with other posters that having a "secret" wedding beforehand makes the Vegas one a bit pointless other than as a bit of fun. Which if you want that is fine, but then it won't really be a wedding as such.
If Vegas is what you want, can't you have a blessing/pagan ritual/party/whatever afterwards and really involve the son in the planning of that? Let him do a speech, or whatever is appropriate for him, and make it his day as well?
If Vegas is just to keep the fuss to a minimum, then have your intimate wedding beforehand (with the minimum amount of fuss - my grandmother did the registry office then a fish and chip supper afterwards!) and have Vegas as a party/honeymoon.

CH27

jlp100 wrote: »

Nothing has been booked.... trying involve the son before that happens.

I thought Vegas was booked?

podperson

It's your day and you shouldn't need to try and please everyone else. If you would like a small intimate ceremony here where your parents and your OH's son could attend then go for it. You don't need to invite anyone you don't want to - and quite frankly if they go in a huff then it's their problem! I went to a lovely wedding a bit back, there were just 8 guests, the couple had invited just the people closest to them. It was small and intimate, a really relaxed day with lots of laughs. They just went for a meal afterwards to the couple's favourite restaurant.

The only thing I would say personally is that if I was now getting married here would I need the ceremony in Vegas as well (bearing in mind you'll still have the party when you get back). The trip will no doubt be special anyway with the birthdays and the fact that it will be in effect your honeymoon. But that's purely personal preference - if you've always fancied the idea of a marriage in a chapel in Vegas for example then why not have a blessing there as well.

Whichever you decide have a lovely day x

aileth

If you're not that fussed about an expensive wedding, why not have a quickie reg-office affair followed by a slap up lunch where friends and family can give you their wishes before Vegas? (paying for themselves ofc )

I think it's a bit regretful that you still seem intent on getting married in Vegas despite the most important people who should be at your wedding being unable to afford going there.

lostinrates

aileth wrote: »

If you're not that fussed about an expensive wedding, why not have a quickie reg-office affair followed by a slap up lunch where friends and family can give you their wishes before Vegas? (paying for themselves ofc )

I think it's a bit regretful that you still seem intent on getting married in Vegas despite the most important people who should be at your wedding being unable to afford going there.

Dh and I got married without our families present. Weddings initiate a marriage between two people, its important they are happy, committed and of accord.

The only thing that impacts upon me as a caveat for that is children. Children are NOT part of a marriage, but they are less able to reason the difference between the marriage and the family.

If my partner had a child I would want them to know they were important and loved by us married, and part of the family.

aileth

lostinrates wrote: »

Dh and I got married without our families present. Weddings initiate a marriage between two people, its important they are happy, committed and of accord.

The only thing that impacts upon me as a caveat for that is children. Children are NOT part of a marriage, but they are less able to reason the difference between the marriage and the family.

If my partner had a child I would want them to know they were important and loved by us married, and part of the family.

Yes, and I know if I was the 14 year old son I'd feel absolutely gutted that I was being excluded from that part of my dad's life while he jetted off to Vegas to get married rather than involving me.

floss2

jlp100 wrote: »

No, neither of us are keen on the £15,000 wedding (which we don't have). We want it to be about the fact we want to be wed.

It was his idea from the start... He has not been 'persuaded'...

Get yourself over to the Weddings Board - you'll soon see that a wedding can be done for a wide range of budgets, from a few hundred pounds to tens of thousands, it all depends on what yo have & how you do it.

At the end of the day, it's a very special ceremony that your family & friends would probably ALL like to share. Together. In the same place at the same time.