Wedding Help for Indecisive Couple Please!

msb5262

Am I being dim? I can't see the point of getting married then going away to get married...

pmlindyloo

My husband and I got married in Gibralter (couldn't bear the fuss of who to choose as bridesmaid, palaver of everything) with no one from the family/friends present.

We 'grabbed' a couple from the hotel to act as witnesses and had a wonderful time chilling out in the sun.

When we got home we had a 'blessing' in the church (you may not be 'up' for that)

Really it was like a wedding but without the stress. Everyone got to dress up, we had a reception in a pub with food and the wedding cake - paid by ourselves)

We were totally in control of the whole procedure - no 'who should come to the wedding?', no arguments and best of all 'no stress'.

Highly recommend it!

jlp100

SavingPennies wrote: »

I think you are risking upsetting a lot of people, the "secret" will get out. I would not be happy if I paid to go to Vegas for your wedding only to find out you were already married and the only people who were invited were "the most important people".

I also think using the term "last laugh" is rather crass and unfair on your friends coming to vegas. I certainly wouldnt find it funny if I was going to a secret wedding knowing other people were paying to go to a fake one in vegas, id feel very uncomfortable about taking part in such deception.

Id have your wedding in here, invite the family and the guests who would have come to vegas (they must be pretty close to have invited them and for them to be willing to go), then a) have a honeymoon in vegas or b) organise a group holiday to vegas with your new husband and close friends.

The people involved are all those we love. What I was trying to say is that there are some conversations where I feel the son is being left out of (we try to avoid such conversations but family/friends sometimes bring it up in front of him). The whole idea of this getting married here is so that the son feels involved.

As I have stated the holiday is not for the wedding, we have added it to our trip (people are not going out there specially - they will be there anyway.

jlp100

Mojisola wrote: »

I think you are risking upsetting just about everyone you know with the mish-mash!

This is why I am on here It is not ,my intention to upset anyone.

We were getting married in Vegas, and I just thought we could do something small here first for the main people in our lives who can't actually afford to go to Vegas so they are actually involved ... i.e. son/mum/dad/sisters

jlp100

msb5262 wrote: »

Am I being dim? I can't see the point of getting married then going away to get married...

If you could see the whole point of the thing here is to keep my OH's son involved, not to have 2 ceremonys or hoodwink anyone.. It is so he can actually know we have gone that extra mile for him to feel involved.

Thanks

CH27

jlp100 wrote: »

The people involved are all those we love. What I was trying to say is that there are some conversations where I feel the son is being left out of (we try to avoid such conversations but family/friends sometimes bring it up in front of him). The whole idea of this getting married here is so that the son feels involved.

As I have stated the holiday is not for the wedding, we have added it to our trip (people are not going out there specially - they will be there anyway.

If it's so important for the son to be involved why did you book a wedding without including him in the first place?

lostinrates

jlp100 wrote: »

If you could see the whole point of the thing here is to keep my OH's son involved, not to have 2 ceremonys or hoodwink anyone.. It is so he can actually know we have gone that extra mile for him to feel involved.

Thanks

I think, the point is that the Vegas wedding is seen as redundant, not the home one.

Edit: personally, I think as the group of friends is going anyway, I would shift the (secret) emphasis on to the home celebration then consider the Vegas holiday an add on ' um 'blessing' or just go for the holiday. (In fact personally I don't get the appeal of Vegas full stop, so I am imagining hard that I do!)

Amanda65

jlp100 wrote: »

I may not have been completely clear. Me & friends were actually going on holiday to Vegas anyway we have added the wedding while we are there.

The reason it was a special holiday anyway was for a special b'days for a 40th & and a 50th which they have said they were always going to do. We have been joking around that we will get married while we are there and the OH has said why not...

They are not making special plans to go especially for the wedding... They are there for Vegas.

If you are getting legally married here with close family I don't see why you want the expense of a 'fake' wedding in Vegas (couldn't be legal ceremoney as you would already be married, could only be a blessing) and taking the shine off of a 40th and 50th birthday bash. Why can't you have the small wedding here, enjoy Vegas as your honeymoon and then the big planned party? I would be a bit peeved if you were taking up part of my 'always wanted to go to Vegas' birthday with a wedding that isn't a wedding to be honest. I think you need to choose one or the other.

Scorpio33

You need to decide if you are having a wedding in the UK or if you are having a wedding in Vegas.

If you are getting married in Vegas, invite all who can't come to a wedding reception in the uk after the wedding in Vegas - so evening do with a disco. You can also have a small "secret" blessing (or equivilent) during the day of the reception for the special people that couldn't make vegas. This won't be a edding though - just everything that a wedding is except for the legalities. This way everyone is involved.

If you are wanting to get married in the UK before you go, then you need to tell everyone in Vegas that the vegas "wedding" is not your actual wedding - perhaps a "remarriage", and there is a small UK service before hand. You can't have two "official" weddings - you will end up hurting someone.

The most important thing is do what YOU want, not what others want you to.

PasturesNew

mrcow wrote: »

So are you going to tell the people that are forking out a fortune for Las Vegas that you'll already be married by the time you go there?

You need to. And early on. I'd be really peeved if I'd been deceived about it.

Me too - they're probably on another forum asking for help for saving, cancelling their own holiday plans, scrimping/saving/stressing and wishing they didn't have to go....