Can a father sue child for return of maintenance money?

janninew

Leakrgn wrote: »

I would just like to try to point out again that the two decisions were not made at the same time. She decided not to go back to university months before she decided to cut contact with him. He was around for the decision and continued to pay. Believe me she would rather he had just stopped the payments and left it at that than be in a situation now where he is trying to hold it over her head just because she won't respond to his text messages.

If she didn't want the money and rather he didn't pay, why not keep the money to oneside and return it to your Father. I assume she has spent the money now if she is worried about being asked to pay it back? I would have felt very uncomfortable spending the money in her situation.

heartbreak_star

Hmmm...one thing I will say is verbal contracts aren't worth the paper they're written on.

I would just wait and see what happens - it could be a lengthy process.

I will say I do think it will go against your sister that she wanted nothing to do with him and kept taking his money and spending it rather than putting it to one side in case this happened.

Not sure what I would have done in her situation though.

HBS x

Treevo

Leakrgn wrote: »

She did not lie to him, he knew she was not going back to university. She did not expect the money to keep coming, but it did. She does not live an extravagant lifestyle, she merely did what I did while at uni and put it towards rent. No holidays, no cars. Just life.

Sorry but you can't have it both ways. Either what your wrote in your OP is the truth, or what you have subsequently written is the truth.

fiscalfreckles

Leakrgn wrote: »

Believe me she would rather he had just stopped the payments and left it at that than be in a situation now where he is trying to hold it over her head just because she won't respond to his text messages.

Why can't she just tell him to stop & that she no longer needs it?

Treevo

Leakrgn wrote: »

We were never told what the money had to be spent on. I could have gone to uni, been an idiot and spent all the money on holidays and parties if I had wanted to? As it is we have both spent the money on exactly the same thing! Rent!

The money was given with conditions attached. Your sister failed to meet those conditions but then cut off contact with your father while still taking his money. He wants to know if the conditions were met as your sister has cut all contact.

She stole the money and her actions (and your posts) prove that she knowingly stole the money. He could sue her to teach her a lesson. I certainly wouldn't blame him.

Leakrgn

Well, thank you very much for all the input, judgement and condemnation! I shall be sure to return home and let my family know what awful, horrible, morally-corrupt people we are. Thank goodness we were told by perfect strangers now before it was too late!

Just for the record I would very much have appreciated a little less vitriol chucked my way, I personally haven't actually done anything wrong and I was asking on behalf of someone dear to my heart, regardless of your opinion of her. I came on here for a third party perspective and although I am surprised at the tone of what has been received, I have obviously received it and can go and tell her that maybe we should have handled the financial situation differently. However from a relationship point of view with our father we have had a very tough time of it and am surprised I feel I have to justify that part of this.

DUTR

Leakrgn wrote: »

We both do stand on our own two feet. She has worked to be in a position where she no longer needs the maintenance, she has a full time job. What she can't afford, however, is to give him thousands of pounds back because he is having a tantrum. He has already threatened with me a lawsuit in the past over something hugely trivial.

He isn't "all right really", but I do appreciate that without me going into a huge amount of detail it would be impossible for you to realise how horrendous he is :P but thank you anyway! Hopefully it really is just a case of him trying to get a reaction. Still ignoring it...

The only time I take money off my parents is on my birthday, other than that, since late teens, done everything for myself.
Sorry but you both sound like horrid children

fiscalfreckles

I'd hardly describe the advice you have received as vitriol. Yes, it's a messy situation & I think your sister has handled it badly - but you seem to accept that now.
You did ask...

DUTR

Leakrgn wrote: »

Well, thank you very much for all the input, judgement and condemnation! I shall be sure to return home and let my family know what awful, horrible, morally-corrupt people we are. Thank goodness we were told by perfect strangers now before it was too late!

Just for the record I would very much have appreciated a little less vitriol chucked my way, I personally haven't actually done anything wrong and I was asking on behalf of someone dear to my heart, regardless of your opinion of her. I came on here for a third party perspective and although I am surprised at the tone of what has been received, I have obviously received it and can go and tell her that maybe we should have handled the financial situation differently. However from a relationship point of view with our father we have had a very tough time of it and am surprised I feel I have to justify that part of this.

At least you considered the viewpoints, yes I agree you should have handled the financial side of things differently.
Nobody has said to patch up with your father, the 'better' person would hand the money back or better yet, not accepted it in the 1st place, everybody is different though and has various levels of moral.

Leakrgn

Yes I did ask, however I didn't quite expect to be told I "sound like a horrid child" by someone who doesn't know me at all!