Can a father sue child for return of maintenance money?

Leakrgn

I guess a bit of background info is needed. Basically, my parents divorced when myself and my sister were young(ish). My father always was and still continues to be a bit of a s**t but we did our best to persevere.

During the lengthy legal battles it was decided in the court order that my father would pay a fixed amount of maintenance per child to my mother as long as we were in education and until we completed tertiary education, including either a gap year/masters/foundation year blah blah blah.

It was later decided (verbally) between us all that when we turned 18 that money would go straight to us instead as we would be going to uni and taking on the costs of living ourselves. My younger sister did a foundation year, applied for a uni course but then changed her mind about the course but it was too late to apply for a new one so she had to take a year out. So her maintenance stopped. During this time her living costs increased and her job hours were cut so she started to struggle financially. She approached our father (I witnessed the conversation) and asked if he could restart her maintenance even though she wasn't at uni because she needed the money to live. He agreed and started to pay her the maintenance again.

There were quite a few tensions bubbling under the surface this entire time to be honest and ultimately my sister made two separate decisions. 1) to not go back to university, and 2) to no longer have our father in her life. I also ended up deciding to have nothing to do with him, but before that we did have one last conversation where he was very much aware that my sister was not going back to university. That was two years ago, and he has still been paying my sister maintenance. In the court order, her maintenance is due to end this June. A month ago he text my sister wanting to know where she is and what she is up to. She didn't reply. He then continued to send aggressive, nasty text messages to her, all of which have been ignored. She is now having to change her number. However the last message he sent said "I would like you to send me proof that you are at university so that I can be satisfied as to why I have been sending you maintenance".

Now my sister is afraid that he is going to come after her with legal action to take money from her. I am convinced that he doesn't have a leg to stand on because:

1) the initial court order was never actually a legal contract between my father and us, we were just kids. So how can he sue her?
2) he agreed to break the court order to help her in the first place, knowing that she was not living within the terms of the court order.
3) why now? he knew she wasn't at uni, and even so why would he wait until two months before the maintenance would be due to end anyway after 2 years of no contact to bring it up! Obviously we know it's because he's angry she hasn't responded to attempts at correspondence but court-wise surely they would question the timing of it?
4) he is an incredibly high earner. As in he is in the top 2% of the country. He does not need the money, my sister does. Would a court really allow something like that to happen? Surely it is dangerous to set a precedent where disgruntled parents can sue their children for maintenance payments?


Should we be concerned? Any feedback/advice welcome. Thank you for bearing with me, it's a long sordid tale and I've tried to keep it as short and factual as possible.

DUTR

He is not going to sue, for all the bad points you say about him, he is all right really, you both need to learn to stand on your feet and maintain yourselves, and in between all the lines that is what he is trying to teach you.

Leakrgn

We both do stand on our own two feet. She has worked to be in a position where she no longer needs the maintenance, she has a full time job. What she can't afford, however, is to give him thousands of pounds back because he is having a tantrum. He has already threatened with me a lawsuit in the past over something hugely trivial.

He isn't "all right really", but I do appreciate that without me going into a huge amount of detail it would be impossible for you to realise how horrendous he is :P but thank you anyway! Hopefully it really is just a case of him trying to get a reaction. Still ignoring it...

whitewing

I think this is one of those silly situations that you only need to worry about when and if it actually happens, as I think it is very unlikely that he would actually take that step.

I also think it is very unlikely that you would have to pay anything back. (This is not a legal opinion, just the opinion of a mother with a modicum of common sense).

skylight

Yes, he can sue. Anyone can sue for almost anything if they wish. Of course, whether he wins or not is a matter based on evidence and the courts decision.

She just needs to tell him straight and approach a solicitor if he does anything daft; worry about it *if* it happens.

Treevo

So your father gave your sister money to support herself when he didn't need to on the understanding that she would go to university. Then your sister (after taking his money) then decided not to go to university and cut all contact with him.

Yeah, he's the bad guy here. What a horrible man! Giving his daughter thousands of pounds so she can continue her lifestyle!

podperson

No matter the ins and outs of his behaviour I don't think your sister has behaved very well either. He didn't have any obligation to pay maintenance after she had left university (she was over 18 and working, as an adult she should have been supporting herself!) - I find it very strange that she's happy to cut him out of her life but still thinks it's morally fine to accept his money. I'd be annoyed at that as well!

Whether it would stand up in court I wouldn't like to hazzard a guess, it's a grey area as you claim he already knew she had left further education but the way it reads is that your sister approached him during what at the time was thought to be a 'gap year' with the assumption that she was returning to uni and then decided she wasn't going to. He could possibly argue that since she refused contact with him he was unaware of that. It's doubtful he would take it that far though, it could turn into a drawn out process.

heartbreak_star

It's a difficult one, but if I'm reading correctly the money from him was supposed to help you both through university - if she is no longer at university, he may see no reason to carry on with "paying her to do nothing" (in his eyes). Maybe he thought she'd go back even though she said she wasn't?

I can see where she's coming from too, especially if she's struggling and he earns a high wage...not sure what to think really

HBS x

fiscalfreckles

I think if your sister decided to cut him out of her life, she should have stopped taking the money. As long as she was doing that, she should have played by the rules & kept him fully informed.
I don't know about legally, but morally I think she is on shaky ground.

Pixiechic

He could sue her if he chose to. She didnt honour the agreement made yet kept accepting his money.

Sounds more like he is upset that his daughter considered herself to cut contact with him whilst allowing him to fund her life. I doubt he would sue.

What he earns is regardless, that is his money, not rightfully yours. He was under no obligation to fund your sister as she didnt honour her part of the agreement.

Again, cross that bridge when you come to it, I doubt he will do it though.

tyllwyd

So under the terms of the court order your father should have been paying maintenance to your mother but instead he has been paying the equivalent amount to your sister? I'm not a lawyer, but if it went to court, I think she could argue that it wasn't maintenance, it was a gift from him to her and he would have trouble proving otherwise.