Separated, how much should I provide?

carolan78

His only obligation was to ensure she wasn't left up !!!!!! creek without a paddle immediately after he left. Which he did, surely he shouldn't have been expected not to be able to afford to rent somewhere to live any longer?

Don't forget he has always maintained he would continue to pay for her lease car which covers insurance ect too. There was no mortgage for her to pay or worry about. His salary will only stretch so far and it simply can not stretch to what she has requested and allow him to live even a basic life.

He has offered a more than reasonable proportion of his salary through the course of this thread and had it rejected. You also have to remember he is the one left paying off joint credit card debt.

Treevo

carolan78 wrote: »

His only obligation was to ensure she wasn't left up !!!!!! creek without a paddle immediately after he left. Which he did, surely he shouldn't have been expected not to be able to afford to rent somewhere to live any longer?

Don't forget he has always maintained he would continue to pay for her lease car which covers insurance ect too. There was no mortgage for her to pay or worry about. His salary will only stretch so far and it simply can not stretch to what she has requested and allow him to live even a basic life.

He has offered a more than reasonable proportion of his salary through the course of this thread and had it rejected. You also have to remember he is the one left paying off joint credit card debt.

Because he's the earner. That was how their marriage worked.

I'm not saying that he should hand over every penny and live in a cardboard box - I'm saying that he should bear in mind that she's probably still devastated by his leaving her.

He doesn't get to be the victim here just because he's the member of MSE. No matter what the consensus is. If he listens to some of the 'advice' here then he runs the risk of cutting his nose off to spite his face. She receives spousal maintenance so she cannot claim income related benefits - that's the issue. Changing it to slag her off isn't being helpful.

JackRS

Mojisola wrote: »

But that's you doing extra work in order to pander to her "needs" while she sits at home doing nothing!

How does she think you're going to live if you pay her what she asks - you need your own list of what your living costs are. You've got rent on top of all her "essentials".

I would be wary of doing loads of extra hours - it won't be sustainable but if you manage to earn enough to finance her demands in the short term, it will be harder to argue that you can't match her demands.

I was joking! My own list has been provided from my solicitor to hers. I need double my income to satisfy both lists so negotiation time.

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

Jack

I strongly advise that you present your responses to the court in annualised format.

£960 per child and £1200 for herself in clothing alone per year? Neither she nor DD can be growing at their age and DS must be clse to adult height? They will all have substantial wardrobes of perfectly decent clothing and can economose.

And another £1700 on opticians?

Going to gut the SOA.

Yes solicitor has drawn up figures annualised

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

Promise you will go and see the doctors this week, please.

I've been a number of times tried various sleeping drugs but noyhing has worked yet. Also tried various drugs for depression but just made me feel wierd.

carolan78

Treevo wrote: »

Because he's the earner. That was how their marriage worked.

I'm not saying that he should hand over every penny and live in a cardboard box - I'm saying that he should bear in mind that she's probably still devastated by his leaving her.

He doesn't get to be the victim here just because he's the member of MSE. No matter what the consensus is. If he listens to some of the 'advice' here then he runs the risk of cutting his nose off to spite his face. She receives spousal maintenance so she cannot claim income related benefits - that's the issue. Changing it to slag her off isn't being helpful.

I don't think she has been slagged off, other than to say she is been unreasonable and must live in cloud cuckoo land. he possibly is devastated but that is still no excuse to throw rationality out of the window as she appears to have done.

JackRS

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

I've kinda followed this thread and lurked about it and finally got round to replying.
OMFG! Those demands are outrageous! I'm so angry on your behalf:mad:

It's women like your soon to be ex wife that give us all a bad name, I'm in the middle of a divorce and I don't want a single penny from my ex. I get to keep the flat but there's no equity in it and I've made the majority of the repayments on it.

I can't imagine still being "kept" by my ex after a divorce ( not that I was kept during the marriage, quite the opposite).

Just wanted to reply to say you've got a great amount of advice on this thread and we're all rooting for you!

Thanks means a lot without the support on here I would struggle, if only you were my ex...

JackRS

19lottie82 wrote: »

How the heck does she manage to spend £200 on petrol a month when she doesn't have a job to go to and the kids make their own way to college?! I have a FT job 10 miles away and do a fair bit of running about taking my OH's DD's to dance classes along with other journeys and I only spend £100!

She'll drive daughter to train station 10 miles away and collect 3 days a week which is 120 miles so 480 a month. then she'll be driving to south coast east weekend which is 250 mile round trip 1000 a month so at 15p a mile around £225. But if she's not got the money she'd have to find a way to cut back!

Treevo

carolan78 wrote: »

I don't think she has been slagged off, other than to say she is been unreasonable and must live in cloud cuckoo land. he possibly is devastated but that is still no excuse to through rationality out of the window as she appears to have done.

Then you've not been reading the same thread as me. Not only has she been slagged off, but so have the kids - sometimes by Jack himself.

I've defended Jack a few times because I can see where he's coming from, but I can also see that he's going to walk into a trap and lose a lot more if he listens to the more 'Jeremy Kyle' members on here.

Do you know what it sounds like to a judge if he was to say that instead of him supporting his wife and children that the taxpayers should? I know a fair few judges and I can't think of a single one that wouldn't think anyone with that view (especially with the level of income he has) of being capable of being fair.

sedment

Wow, with her list of expenses! Holy moly!!!! As a lurker on this posting, am astounded as to how reasonable and calm you appear to be. You are a far better person than I think I would be in this situation.
Just wanted to say good luck with the 28th and this time next year this will be a distant memory.