Separated, how much should I provide?

Mojisola

Treevo wrote: »

Do you know what it sounds like to a judge if he was to say that instead of him supporting his wife and children that the taxpayers should? I know a fair few judges and I can't think of a single one that wouldn't think anyone with that view (especially with the level of income he has) of being capable of being fair.

I think that was said from the point of view that she has to start managing her own life - that was the way I meant it, anyway.

By refusing to do anything but sit there and demand that Jack pays her everything she wants, she's being unrealistic.

Treevo

Mojisola wrote: »

I think that was said from the point of view that she has to start managing her own life - that was the way I meant it, anyway.

By refusing to do anything but sit there and demand that Jack pays her everything she wants, she's being unrealistic.

Actually she's being smart - strategically speaking anyway.

She should absolutely start managing her own life - after the financial settlement is reached and not before.

Put yourself in her shoes - she and her husband decided that she would not work and in one moment her entire future disappeared when he walked out of the door. She won't just be worried for herself but also for her children, and in some moments for Jack (who she will probably think is having some kind of midlife crisis). She is mourning for the life that she thought she had. For Jack's sake, I hope she's already hit the anger stage because that kind of fury won't be easy to deal with. Especially when she's getting good legal advice.

Mojisola

Treevo wrote: »

Put yourself in her shoes - she and her husband decided that she would not work and in one moment her entire future disappeared when he walked out of the door.

But they didn't. She has been working until recently.

Lunar_Eclipse

Mojisola wrote: »

But they didn't. She has been working until recently.

Really? I thought she hadn't worked for years. I thought it was the children who worked until recently.

carolan78

Treevo wrote: »

Actually she's being smart - strategically speaking anyway.

She should absolutely start managing her own life - after the financial settlement is reached and not before.

Put yourself in her shoes - she and her husband decided that she would not work and in one moment her entire future disappeared when he walked out of the door. She won't just be worried for herself but also for her children, and in some moments for Jack (who she will probably think is having some kind of midlife crisis). She is mourning for the life that she thought she had. For Jack's sake, I hope she's already hit the anger stage because that kind of fury won't be easy to deal with. Especially when she's getting good legal advice.

How do you know she is mourning the life she thought she had? We can't possibly know how she is feeling. Yes you're right jack did slag off his children and then later took it back, I'm sure you have said things you have regretted in the past.

I'm not sure the posters offering their thoughts and advise on this thread will appreciate you calling them the 'Jeremy Kyle' members on here. I certainly don't and I can't think of a reason JK would have me on his show...maybe he will do one a so called normal family life one day to show people you can live without drama in your life!

carolan78

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Really? I thought she hadn't worked for years. I thought it was the children who worked until recently.

I think she has been out of work for aprox 5 years.

Lunar_Eclipse

carolan78 wrote: »

I don't think she has been slagged off, other than to say she is been unreasonable and must live in cloud cuckoo land.

'She' isn't being anything.

She is playing the game called Financial Negotiation, probably based on standard legal advice.

Seriously, that is all it is. She (probably) knows her demands aren't realistic, but she has to ask for everything, in the hope of getting something.

Jack: authorise the game but try not to get bogged down in the fake detail. You effectively pay your solicitor to play the game for you.

Lunar_Eclipse

carolan78 wrote: »

We can't possibly know how she is feeling.

But we can make an intelligent guess: upset, shocked, let down, angry and after revenge.

That's how I'd feel anyway.

ETA: She doesn't have the monopoly on these feelings, Jack can have them too and I don't want this to read as me defending her; I'm not. Jack is clearly trying to do the right thing; separation is just horrible.

JackRS

Mojisola wrote: »

But they didn't. She has been working until recently.

Just to clarify she hasn't had any paid work since 2005 when she was a teaching assistant at an infants school. Since then she continued to help out at the school for a day a week not paid but that stopped 3 years ago. Then she did volunteer work at an animal sanctury for 2 half days a week which she stopped when we seperated.

carolan78

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

'She' isn't being anything.

She is playing the game called Financial Negotiation, probably based on standard legal advice.

Seriously, that is all it is. She (probably) knows her demands aren't realistic, but she has to ask for everything, in the hope of getting something.

Jack: authorise the game but try not to get bogged down in the fake detail. You effectively pay your solicitor to play the game for you.

Surely with the suggested amounts Jack has made, a settlement could have been arranged between themselves though without costly court appearances? I've never been divorced but I presume it is possible to go to a judge with a fair proposed financial settlement so all he has to do is read it and rubber stamp it?