Separated, how much should I provide?

Treevo

carolan78 wrote: »

How do you know she is mourning the life she thought she had? We can't possibly know how she is feeling. Yes you're right jack did slag off his children and then later took it back, I'm sure you have said things you have regretted in the past.

I'm not sure the posters offering their thoughts and advise on this thread will appreciate you calling them the 'Jeremy Kyle' members on here. I certainly don't and I can't think of a reason JK would have me on his show...maybe he will do one a so called normal family life one day to show people you can live without drama in your life!

It's an educated guess - one anyone could make if they were to look at the situation without 'she's evil' at the forefront of their minds.

Treevo

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

'She' isn't being anything.

She is playing the game called Financial Negotiation, probably based on standard legal advice.

Seriously, that is all it is. She (probably) knows her demands aren't realistic, but she has to ask for everything, in the hope of getting something.

Jack: authorise the game but try not to get bogged down in the fake detail. You effectively pay your solicitor to play the game for you.

This is exactly it. When she emailed Jack telling him that she wasn't sure where he was getting the idea that she was entitled to so much money - she wasn't doing that to be unreasonable - she was doing that because she was right. In her eyes (and actually, most people's) her husband should be paying interim spousal maintenance rather than expecting the taxpayer to pay it so he can keep the family income for himself. That made him look unreasonable and put her in a position of strength.

justme111

carolan78 wrote: »

Surely with the suggested amounts Jack has made, a settlement could have been arranged between themselves though without costly court appearances? I've never been divorced but I presume it is possible to go to a judge with a fair proposed financial settlement so all he has to do is read it and rubber stamp it?

Yes , and people should live together without divorcing , and there should be no wars on this planet , and animals should not eat each other and people should not suffer .

Lunar_Eclipse

carolan78 wrote: »

Surely with the suggested amounts Jack has made, a settlement could have been arranged between themselves though without costly court appearances?

I've never been divorced but I presume it is possible to go to a judge with a fair proposed financial settlement so all he has to do is read it and rubber stamp it?

I would have thought they could settle it too, and they still might although I'm doubtful (unless the wife knows she is being very unreasonable.)

If they agree a settlement, they don't need to go to court. I haven't been divorced either, but see it all around me.

Treevo

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I would have thought they could settle it too, and they still might although I'm doubtful (unless the wife knows she is being very unreasonable.)

If they agree a settlement, they don't need to go to court. I haven't been divorced either, but see it all around me.

They will have to go to court either way to divorce. It'll probably be cheaper to settle (for Jack anyway) but only if the offer is fair. If it's not then the judge just won't sign off on it anyway and it'll cost even more.

Lunar_Eclipse

Treevo wrote: »

That made him look unreasonable and put her in a position of strength.

Yes, unfortunately that's an annoying aspect to the game!

I thought he did offer it though, just at a much lower level than she wanted/hoped for, which will go in his favour & could mitigate her 'strength'.

Bottom line is that any reasonable judge is going to make them settle fairly. Spousal maintenance is highly likely; the fact she could get a job now (she will anyway AFTER settlement & when she actually needs to) is irrelevant because it really damages her game outcome.

Lunar_Eclipse

Treevo wrote: »

They will have to go to court either way to divorce. It'll probably be cheaper to settle (for Jack anyway) but only if the offer is fair. If it's not then the judge just won't sign off on it anyway and it'll cost even more.

Agreed, I was talking about financial settlement.

I can't see a reasonable offer/acceptance coming from the wife. I think Jack might do better in court, where he will be allowed some of his income to fund his needs.

Treevo

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Yes, unfortunately that's an annoying aspect to the game!

I thought he did offer it though, just at a much lower level than she wanted/hoped for, which will go in his favour & could mitigate her 'strength'.

Bottom line is that any reasonable judge is going to make them settle fairly. Spousal maintenance is highly likely; the fact she could get a job now (she will anyway AFTER settlement & when she actually needs to) is irrelevant because it really damages her game outcome.

Spot on. I'm just glad Jack didn't get what some were hoping for by his ex moving to her parents and him moving back into the marital home.

The way that would look is that the man who walked out on his family, forced them to move hundreds of miles away to his wife's parents while he enjoyed his high income in the family home. He wouldn't have stood a chance at a fair settlement then.

Treevo

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Agreed, I was talking about financial settlement.

I can't see a reasonable offer/acceptance coming from the wife. I think Jack might do better in court, where he will be allowed some of his income to fund his needs.

There's plenty of time yet for a fair offer to come through. They're still in the sizing up phase after all.

Mojisola

Treevo wrote: »

There's plenty of time yet for a fair offer to come through. They're still in the sizing up phase after all.

I think she would have done better if she's got Jack to arrange a reasonable sum early on.

Because she asked for an impossible sum, he's looked for advice and found that what he was willing to provide is more than most people would think is reasonable.