Separated, how much should I provide?

carolan78

I would struggle not to get angry, the only thing that would hold me back is the thought of seeing her face drop when a judge tells her she is been stupid lol

Mojisola

How does she think you are going to pay your rent, electricity, gas, phone, etc, etc?

RAS

JackRS wrote: »

Thanks, not feeling great at the moment feeling very anxious and lots of dark thoughts last night with no sleep wondering what the point is. Not finding any pleasure in life right now but to be expected. First court hearing is 28 Oct so we'll see how things go?

JackRS

Please, pretty please go to the doctors and let them know how you feel.

You need to talk to him about the anxiety and the dark thoughts. Please.

JackRS

Mojisola wrote: »

How does she think you are going to pay your rent, electricity, gas, phone, etc, etc?

Well i'm looking into working at bars at the weekend and a friend of mine often needs decorating done in houses he buys to rent so I can earn some cash in hand during my time off. as i don't sleep more than 2-3 hours a night and often not at all so I've plenty of time to do extra work. Anything so long as they don't have to get off their backsides the poor loves...

Mojisola

JackRS wrote: »

Well i'm looking into working at bars at the weekend and a friend of mine often needs decorating done in houses he buys to rent so I can earn some cash in hand during my time off. as i don't sleep more than 2-3 hours a night and often not at all so I've plenty of time to do extra work. Anything so long as they don't have to get off their backsides the poor loves...

But that's you doing extra work in order to pander to her "needs" while she sits at home doing nothing!

How does she think you're going to live if you pay her what she asks - you need your own list of what your living costs are. You've got rent on top of all her "essentials".

I would be wary of doing loads of extra hours - it won't be sustainable but if you manage to earn enough to finance her demands in the short term, it will be harder to argue that you can't match her demands.

RAS

Jack

I strongly advise that you present your responses to the court in annualised format.

£960 per child and £1200 for herself in clothing alone per year? Neither she nor DD can be growing at their age and DS must be clse to adult height? They will all have substantial wardrobes of perfectly decent clothing and can economose.

And another £1700 on opticians?

Going to gut the SOA.

JackRS wrote: »

Council tax 150 - Does this include single person discount? Why has she not claimed CTB (because she is claiming so much from you that she invalidates income based benefits)
Water 42 - meter
Elec 55 - together with gas this is high but not totally unreasonable for a 4 bedroom house. Has she reduced the heating in the rooms that are no longer used as there are only two adults living there?
Gas 72
Telephone 27 - why does she need to spend this much when she has mobiles? there are much cheaper bundles for landline and internet although this is her problem.
Internet SP 20 - as above - bet this drops now Ds has moved anyway.
Food 500 - this is ludicrious for 2 people and massive for 3 people. £100 per person per month is more than adequate.
TV licence 12 - her problem
Gardening 26 - she is not working so she can sort it out.
Dog ins food vets 60 - how many mutts?
Clothes 100 - as above
Mobile phone 15 - her problem
Opticians 31 - as above
Dentists 23 - is this a package? How comes it costs so much?
Hairdresser 40 - per quarter maybe - what is she doing getting her rootsd done every month?
Osteopath 38 - she can ask the doctor for a referral if needed
Petrol 200 - her problem
Entertainment & hobbies 200 her problem not yours
Holidays 250 - tough titties - no
Chemist 10
Birthday/Christmas gifts 50 - tough
Gas service plan 19 - think you should pay this or at least half
Home insurance 40 - and pay this or half


Son -
Travel 95
Stationary books etc 40
Mobile phone 41
Opticians/glasses 56
Hairdresser 12
Clothes shoes 80
Driving lessons 165
Hobbies 15


Daughter
Travel 157
College fees 21
Equipment 5
Mobile phone 5
Opticians 56
Dentist 4
Hairdresser 10
Doctors/perscrip/chem. 58
Clothes/shoes 80
Driving lessons 165
Hobbies 18

RAS

JackRS wrote: »

as i don't sleep more than 2-3 hours a night and often not at all so I've plenty of time to do extra work.

Promise you will go and see the doctors this week, please.

duchy

£56 a MONTH on glasses ???? each !
£165 a month on driving lessons ...has she still not passed ???
£58 on prescriptions -does she have a long term illness ?
£20 a month on internet (hope it's fibre at that price)
£23 every month on the dentist-she must have really bad teeth

I think you solicitor may have fun with some of these

RAS

This is what I would agree to pay the ex

Twenty percent of income for the 2 children until July 2014, then 15% until July 2015 plus the following until the house is sold or July 2014:

Gas service plan 19 - think you should pay this or at least half
Home insurance 40 - and pay this or half

Ex
£305 as equivalent to JSA to allow her to find her feet in the job market until July 2014
Note you are already paying the car at £206

In addition I would pay

Daughter – direct to her until she completes college
Travel 157
College fees 21
Plus the £50 per month allowance you have already paid

Son – direct to him until he completes college
£50 allowance you have already paid

Whether you pay the driving lessons is a moot point. If you think they will pass shortly, then OK. Other wise you need to stop them.


If the court case means high costs, then ask to cancel them immediately.

gunsandbanjos

I've kinda followed this thread and lurked about it and finally got round to replying.
OMFG! Those demands are outrageous! I'm so angry on your behalf:mad:

It's women like your soon to be ex wife that give us all a bad name, I'm in the middle of a divorce and I don't want a single penny from my ex. I get to keep the flat but there's no equity in it and I've made the majority of the repayments on it.

I can't imagine still being "kept" by my ex after a divorce ( not that I was kept during the marriage, quite the opposite).

Just wanted to reply to say you've got a great amount of advice on this thread and we're all rooting for you!