Separated, how much should I provide?

Vicky123

Wow, she's so MSE, economising on SKY.
Seriously though, and this is depressed? Imagine if she were firing on all cylinders.

LannieDuck

I assume that list is for interim support? I think you just need to keep things as under control as you can until Oct 28th, and wait for a proper split of the finances.

I agree with what RAS says, from other threads on here, she's probably looking at half (or slightly more) of the house equity and pension, and possibly some limited child support. Maybe some very limited spousal support (can't recall how long you were married for), but you should be rid of all these ridiculous requests to pay for her haircuts, car etc.

19lottie82

Treevo wrote: »

I actually don't see anything unreasonable about the children's expenses.

The son is 19. Why should Jack be paying the bill for his top of the range I phone, or whatever other phone costs £41 a month?

kelpie35

Treevo wrote: »

Are they? I think Jack realises that parents should help support their children until they've finished education.

I actually don't see anything unreasonable about the children's expenses.

There both of an age where they can get part time jobs which would help to buy their own clothes and fund their own hobbies.

RAS

19lottie82 wrote: »

The son is 19. Why should Jack be paying the bill for his top of the range I phone, or whatever other phone costs £41 a month?

Son is not yet 19. Daughter is 19 (or 20 now) but studying a second level 3 qualification that she commenced before Jack and the missus split up. Mum cannot claim CB for her because she started the course too late and therefore DD falls between stools - not eligible for support via benefits and not eiligible for CSA.

Son (younger) is living with grandparents down south and commenced a Level 3 course there because he did not do well in A Levels. So mum cannot claim any CB or benefits for him either (clever). Mum/grandparents could claim CB/CSA for him until July 2015.

RAS

JackRS

Broken record technique

"My income was insufficient to fully fund our lifestyle when we lived together, as evidenced by the credit card debt.

Plainly when this incvome has to support two household, the life style of both has to be reduced.

My wife expects that I can support her in the style to which she has become accustomed but that leaves nothing to fund the bare minimum for myself.

In the short-term I recognise the need to support both DD and Ds until they complete their BTEC National Diplomas but given the financial situation think it reasonable to ask both to work part-time to fund phones and other discretionary purchases, as they have done in the past.

Mrs Jack has declined to claim the full benefits to which she could have been entitled and has made limited attempts to obtain employment."

Also I think you will find that a court order can be challenged after 1 year and you could simply open a case with the CSa and pay the required 15% of salary. Ask over on the Child Support Sub-forum buut take a hard hat.

carolan78

JackRS wrote: »

Here's her list of needs that adds up to £2969:

Council tax 150 Her responsibility and should get benefit to cover
Water 42 Might be cheaper for her to go on a meter now there's fewer people in the household.
Elec 55With son gone too this will go down, with 4 of us in a house and everything bar heating been electric we pay less than this a month.
Gas 72This again is her responsibility, if she can't afford the bill she will have to find a way to use less heat, novel idea but she could get a job that is 8 hours a day the home doesn't need heating.
Telephone 27
Gas service plan 19Could be argued for you to pay half since the prop is also your asset.
Internet SP 20Again her outgoings nothing to do with you any more
Food 500If son is at her parents this will drop, even for 3 it is excessive.
Home insurance 40If this includes buildings then it could be argued it is in your best interest to split this cost.
TV licence 12Nothing to do with you, you pay your own.
Gardening 26Son or Daughter can mow the lawn.
Dog ins food vets 60How many dogs is there?
Clothes 100No longer your responsibility to clothe her.
Mobile phone 15Her phone, her bill.
Opticians 31Send her Martins article on contact lens savings
Dentists 23really??? 2 check ups a year is less than £40, are her teeth so poor she needs regular treatment?
Hairdresser 40No longer your responsibility to pay for her hair cutting especially not £40 a month.
Osteopath 38No longer your responsibility, if she can't afford it she will have to save elsewhere to pay for it. The GP can't think she needs it or surely she would get treatment on the NHS?
Petrol 200Her petrol, any she uses for the children will have to come out of maintenance.
Entertainment & hobbies 200Not for you to provide any more
Holidays 250
Chemist 10
Birthday/Christmas gifts 50

Son
Travel 95
Stationary books etc 40
Mobile phone 41
Opticians/glasses 56
Hairdresser 12
Clothes shoes 80
Driving lessons 165
Hobbies 15


Daughter
Travel 157
College fees 21
Equipment 5
Mobile phone 5
Opticians 56
Dentist 4
Hairdresser 10
Doctors/perscrip/chem. 58
Clothes/shoes 80
Driving lessons 165
Hobbies 18

As for the childrens expenses I wouldn't expect you to be their sole provider. CSA for 2 children is 15% I think this is a fair amount and I can not see a judge ordering much different. You have already stated you will continue to pay for their driving lessons so I don't understand why she has included these...I do find it interesting she has omitted the cost of the lease car you currently pay for.

RAS

carolan78 wrote: »

As for the childrens expenses I wouldn't expect you to be their sole provider. CSA for 2 children is 15% I think this is a fair amount and I can not see a judge ordering much different. You have already stated you will continue to pay for their driving lessons so I don't understand why she has included these...I do find it interesting she has omitted the cost of the lease car you currently pay for.

CSA for two children is 20% of income. although DD is no longer eligible.

If I remember rightly this little list plus the car leaves JackRS just enough to pay the rent and eat sawdust?

carolan78

Seems that way to me and even the 20% isn't too bad compared to her demands.

I do think you need to take Ras's advice and make sure the judge is aware your income was not enough to support the household while you were still together. I would even cite her unrealistic lifestyle as the reason.

*edited to add I say 20% because Jack has never wanted to not pay for the children, he just doesn't want to support his ex wife's stupid demands.

heartbreak_star

Oooh Carolan's put it so much more diplomatically than I would!

I'd be telling her she's having a laugh and she can have the 20% CSA and bot all else.

I rarely get this angry but....ooooo!!!

HBS x