Separated, how much should I provide?

edited 31 August 2016 at 12:26PM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
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  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    justme111 wrote: »
    You paying for her solicitor as well ? Charming. She has no incentive to come to an agreement then.

    Well mine has proposed that we half the costs and that the costs are reasonable level etc set a maximum.
    Regards

    JackRS
  • Cou,d you not find a really vicious solicitor rather than one who seems content to roll over and play dead?
  • kelpie35kelpie35 Forumite
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    From what you have said you don't seem to have a solicitor that has your best interests in mind.

    Did you manage to gain access to YOUR home at the weekend?
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    Treevo wrote: »
    Cou,d you not find a really vicious solicitor rather than one who seems content to roll over and play dead?

    Well I don't believe they will, they just understad the law and my situation and therefore what is realistic. Why what are you suggesting a vicious one would actually achieve in the long run?
    Regards

    JackRS
  • kelpie35kelpie35 Forumite
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    JackRS wrote: »
    Well I don't believe they will, they just understad the law and my situation and therefore what is realistic. Why what are you suggesting a vicious one would actually achieve in the long run?

    A fair deal for yourself is what you require, not allowing your ex to make a fool of you.
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    kelpie35 wrote: »
    From what you have said you don't seem to have a solicitor that has your best interests in mind.

    Did you manage to gain access to YOUR home at the weekend?

    Really, what makes you say that what do you think they should be doing? I thought the approach of not replying to the requests to provide my income and outgoings but request her requirements was a good start. We are talking about for the period now not final settlement?
    Regards

    JackRS
  • JackRS wrote: »
    Well I don't believe they will, they just understad the law and my situation and therefore what is realistic. Why what are you suggesting a vicious one would actually achieve in the long run?

    At the very least they would neutralise your ex's solicitor. Which would save you a fortune and salvage a little bit of respect from your children. They're at an age where they're going to be incredibly hurtnow, but will soon be able to understand it through the eyes of an adult.

    Your ex seems like she is out to hurt you - so your choice (and you have one) is to either roll over and let it happen or fight back. You said you wanted a solicitor to give you some backbone - you've not got it with this one.

    Any notion you have that giving your ex everything she wants will somehow fix everything needs to be hacked out now. The damage is done. You're in the business of survival and mitigation now. Don't waste it by being some martyr. It won't help you at all.
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    kelpie35 wrote: »
    A fair deal for yourself is what you require, not allowing your ex to make a fool of you.

    Yes that's what we'll work towards, working out what is fair that's what I hope they can do for me. It has to be realistic and likely to be agreed by court etc.
    Regards

    JackRS
  • JackRS wrote: »
    Yes that's what we'll work towards, working out what is fair that's what I hope they can do for me. It has to be realistic and likely to be agreed by court etc.

    You don't get a fair deal by starting off offering one to someone who wants your blood. I'd be wary of any lawyer who didn't understand that.
  • SandCSandC Forumite
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    I agree with the others, your wife's solicitor is not going to go in with anything but the max that they are after, with a view to negotiation. That's how they work.

    Remember you started this thread a month ago - your wife was looking to move in 3 months at that point. It's still 3 months and with the best will in the world do you really think the house will get sold and financials all sorted in that space of time?

    You can still sort out pre divorce situation with regards to finance but I do think you are looking at least 6 months so you have to consider yourself in this.
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