Separated, how much should I provide?

justme111

I would have checked with solicitors a while ago re your say in a consent to let , she may be not able.to do ot without you agreeing to it and house will stay empty as a result ...

justme111

One more thing - if she agreed to 30/70 split of house equity you may want to consider it depending on how much would it be in money terms versus solicitor barrister and court fees and lost months and years ...

JackRS

justme111 wrote: »

I may have missed something - why pension split 80/20 in your favour ? It should be 50/50 ?
I would not include children under additional , surely your support tp children beyond cs should be arranged with them , not with your ex. Otherwise it puts her in a role of representing children in dealing with you , not a good position for you as it is in the context of haggling with her and makes it as if you were hagglingng with children.
Good luck .
If you don't reach complete agreement at the first step do not dispair , one step at a time.
Re where to go - furniture into storage and back to sharing accommodation ? Will rub it into her face what position you are in. I would check with solicitors re moving back into a marital home , after all you are homeless and it is your housea wellwell !!

I’ve actually made 2 proposals one on 50/50 for everything the other on 60/40 in her favor for the house but if she has 60% of the house the total pot should be 50/50 but due to her earning potential etc is wishing to have a greater proportion of the house. To off set that then the pension should be split in my favor. So the calculation involves our individual debt, the contents value that we agree to each of us and then the total pension (mine and hers including state) is then proportioned accordingly to achieve an equal amount.

Therefore based on value of the house being £280,000, the contents assigned to her £7000, to me £2000, my debt £16,000, hers £10,000. If the current pension value is £330,000 and she has 60% of the house value then to equal the share she should have 39.8% of the total pension pot.

I mentioned 80/20 as I believe that will be her proposal.

justme111

I was referring to 80/20 on.pension , not on equity.
It foes not seem fair to me that she should get less of pension to compensate for more equity , I reckon they may take a view that she should not been shortchanged in old age to to you accruing pension on your name in marriage , its like saying "I paid for this house so you.will have less than a half " - not sure it will pass.
Hope mediator will give some inpit as well , good luck

JackRS

justme111 wrote: »

I was referring to 80/20 on.pension , not on equity.
It foes not seem fair to me that she should get less of pension to compensate for more equity , I reckon they may take a view that she should not been shortchanged in old age to to you accruing pension on your name in marriage , its like saying "I paid for this house so you.will have less than a half " - not sure it will pass.
Hope mediator will give some inpit as well , good luck

Surely splitting all assets 50/50 is fair including the pension. Having a greater portion of the house now must put her at an advantage. If I asked you if you wanted £20,000 now or in 15 years, which would you take. The net present value calculation makes that an easy decision. So if she’s getting a greater cut of one cake surely it’s reasonable and fair she takes a small cut of another cake.

I’m looking into buying her out of that share so she would have the cash without the complexity/uncertainty of actually selling.

Catapa

I don't understand why you give her the greater share of the house? I assume that you paid the mortgage for the house?

I don't understand either that you want to keep the greater part of the pension to yourself. Women have a higher life expectancy and having been out of work for many years she will struggle to built up a pension. Do you want your children to see her live in poverty or do you expect her to re-marry to top up her pension?

msb5262

I think 60/40 should be the best she'd get - I got 70/30 when our youngest child was five, for heaven's sake! 60/40 would be generous to her under the circumstances.

JackRS

Catapa wrote: »

I don't understand why you give her the greater share of the house? I assume that you paid the mortgage for the house?

I don't understand either that you want to keep the greater part of the pension to yourself. Women have a higher life expectancy and having been out of work for many years she will struggle to built up a pension. Do you want your children to see her live in poverty or do you expect her to re-marry to top up her pension?

Sorry this isn't very clear to you and others it is complex. My preference would be 50/50 for everything, however she wishes to have a greater share of the property because she is not currently earning and will find it difficult to earn enough for a large mortgage. So she is requesting have a larger slice now and if it went to court I've been advised that she would get it, maybe not the 100% she has requested but 60% or more is likely. So is it really fair that she has a majority share of the house and also an equal share of the pension. Isn't that your cake and eat it? In terms of my Children seeing her live in poverty? I appreciate you don't have a full understanding of this case and why should you but rest assured that is not my intension, but it's not my intension to also live in poverty. She has wealthy parents and a brother as well as being well looked after by the financial settlement that will no consider those facts.

justme111

Jack , I do not think it is 20000 now or later. Whoever does it will allocate equity. Most likely to her favour. On a separate note they will allocate pension , lost likely 50/50. If you then want to start using pension as a bargaining tool then great , its just that equity would be allocated to her favour I think noatter pension or not pension.
Re she would be.lucky 60/40 - I know a case which ended in 82/17 in.female's favour ! Kids simular age. And she was working. Well , the guy got pension 100%.

JackRS

It went OK in that it didn’t get too heated. She’d been to see another solicitor, hers has retired. She agreed that we should try to resolve things as much as possible without involving solicitors and go through mediation to finalise as she’s concerned we don’t know the details of the law. Basically she doesn’t want me to buy her out as she’ll not have anywhere to go, equally I didn’t really want to buy it again and sell as that would involve 2 lots of fees. She wants to move south and needs at least £240K to get somewhere in the south close to her parents. This means if we can get £300k she wants 80% of the house but understands that I would keep the majority of my pension to compensate (around 80% of it). She said that would give me a deposit on a place for less than £200K in this area and get a mortgage to cover the rest. We talked about the spousal maintenance I said that it was for a limited time and would need to revert to CSA recommended level soon until our son was 20 or out of full time education. She couldn’t understand why I couldn’t continue to pay spousal maintenance as it was my responsibility due to the length of the marriage and her low earning potential. So we agreed that we would need to go through mediation to resolve our differences, but she pointed out that we would need to show our reasonable costs for living and this would demonstrate that I would have spare earnings to pay for her needs. I managed to stay in control and walk away, clearly I feel angry about her claims and having to create outgoings list again and have to justify.

I mentioned that she was not maximising her income and missing out by not applying for JSA, She got annoyed as I’m always bringing this up and she has applied for jobs but if she went down JSA route would have to take any job they found and that she was in no fit state due to the brake up to work etc. I explained that I’ve had to continue to work every day without sleep sometimes and it’s tough, how do you think other ladies manage when they split up they have to get a job or sometime 2 to make ends meet. However her focus and tactic is to sit back and focus her energies on getting as much out of me as possible.

Mediation isn’t cheap but some do legal aid so I suggested checking that route.

We did agree to market the house online through emoov and she agreed to pay half the fee, although if she expects 80% of the proceeds maybe she should pay 80% of the fee?

I have to move out of the rental by the end of the month so either I find somewhere else to rent quickly or I put my stuff in storage or back at the FMH and stay with a friend until it’s sorted and I have somewhere to live?