Family and rent

paulineb_2

Rather than getting upset about them going out 5 nights a week you need to get some kind of consistency going, some of your kids are contributing and another is paying nothing? Thats not fair on your kids who do give something towards their board and lodgings.

You could ask them all to pay for their own food for a start which might be a pain in the neck when it comes to shopping and they might not like it but it would be something you could consider.

Or basically say, if you dont pay us something towards food and bills, then you'll need to move out.

My mum didnt take anything from my brother or myself, I was in my own flat not long after I started work full time. She didnt want to and she does a lot for me and always has and I appreciate it. But when I have anything spare I take her out, buy her meals, my brother does the same now hes working full time, he was unemployed for a long time (hes lived away from home for about 8 years now), he goes up to hers once a week and cooks her a meal.

Every family situation is different, some people will expect money from their kids, others wont, but if you do need the money and are taking it from your kids, you need to take it from them all, its not fair on the ones contributing if you dont.

And perhaps some gentle hints about the kids getting a flatshare together if you do feel they earn enough and are ready to live on their own. I was 26 before I left home but that was because it took me that long to get a flat of my own through council housing.

It is tough out there just now, many people in work cant afford to buy or even privately rent, but if you feel they can afford to give you something and they are just taking advantage then you maybe have to have the conversation of pay what you can afford or try and find a private let, sooner rather than later.

hunnieybunniey

My dad used to charge me 450 a month board he never told me at time he was only charging me 250 and kept the 200 aside in savings. I decided i wanted to move out as bein 20 and sharing a room with my younger sister was getting unbearable so i started saving 150 a month when it came to moving out i was able to manage easily as i was used to 600 of my wage going elsewhere. Also taught me how to save.

Kynthia

Every family situation is different and even within a family each of the children's situations may be different so this must be taken into account. However I firmly believe that unless there is a good reason otherwise, every child should pay towards the household once they are out of full time education.

I think the percentage of take home salary is a good and fair idea. It still encourages them to work hard to earn more as they will benefit too from their share increasing. Anything from between 20% and 33.33% seems fair and leaves enough for them to build their own savings. It's for the child's own good too as it's a life lesson that everyone must pay their way and teaches them budgeting and the value of money.

Fire_Fox

Nicky321 wrote: »

When I first left school I went onto a YTS (28 years ago) was on £25/week, gave my mum £10, left me with £15 for travel exp, saving and myself

Ive worked out the utility bills, tv, water, council tax, food etc and when divided by 5 its coming to £150.00 approx, ATM the 2 eldest give me £36/week roughly the youngest doesn't pay . I think ive been too soft, as the 27 year old moved out for 4 years, and came back last Feb for 6 months and is still here 14 months later.

You think you've been too soft?? It's part of parenting to teach your children to stand on their own two feet, pay their way, drink alcohol responsibly, use condoms until they can afford to support their own family.

InMyDreams

I agree with Kynthia. The only extra I would add would be that from whatever they end up actually handing over to me, I would only keep what it actually cost me to have them at home (and maybe not even that if I didn't have to). The rest I would put aside for them for when they did finally move out.

I think moving out of the parental home is an unnecessary extravagance for many young people, especially if they are then hoping for help from bank of mum and dad when they really do need to move up/on/away.

I will be much happier to offer financial assistance to my children if they have shown restraint in rushing to 'move out' and demonstrated financial responsibility with the savings that can be made by staying at home if viable. If they are just staying at home so they can live the life of Riley, I might be less disposed to helping them out in the future.

Nicky321

Turns out i'm taking 13% of the eldests income and 16% of 21 yo income. I seriously need us all to sit down as a family and sort this.

Bennifred

I have three children, ages 20, 23 and 26. The youngest is away at university (the older two went, too). The older two currently live with us and pay no rent, but do pay £200 per month each to cover their share of the household food/gas/electricity/broadband etc. They also willingly do chores around the house/cook etc (have done this from a young age!:cool:) The youngest will pay the same if he chooses to live here when he graduates. Not contributing is not an option!
We decided that dividing the costs was fairer than expecting a percentage of their income - that's the way costs are incurred in the big wide world after all; why should one who earns more subsidise his sibling?

sammyjammy

I disagree that you should take a percentage of their income, if one is earning more than the other it doesn't cost more to keep that person does it?

If your 18yr old isn't still in education then they need to up their income and get a full time job or you could charge them less and they make it up by doing certain chores.

Nicky321

Well i've spoken with the 27 yo and the 18 yo and they have both offered to pay me 20% of their take home income towards bills, food, housekeeping etc, just got to ask my 21 yo now. I feel so much better now we have got it sorted.