Please help 3 year old is biting at nursery

MortgageMamma

absolutebounder wrote: »

So how many kids teeth did he have in his school bag or is the talking working?
Just out of interest why Blackpool zoo? are you hoping they will take him off your hands:rotfl:

He's been a good boy all day and he's now outside playing with our pets. It may have worked or it could just be a fluke "good" day we will have to see

Why Blackpool Zoo? In a word its cheaper to get into than Chester Zoo and lots of attractions nearby like seaworld or the sandcastle if it rains. But if they need an addition to the gorilla compound I'm sure he'd fit in just fine.

My middle daughter could go play with the tortoises as her nickname is Lettuce as its all she ever eats and the eldest could go sit in the mud with the rhinos as she sounds like one when she stomps about upstairs

absolutebounder

So is the talking still working? Do you agree with me that you can lead him away from violence just by talking?
One thing I didnt point out on the other thread is how to spot someones predominant language ie is he pictoral Auditory or kinesthetic. Do you know how its done

Gingham_Ribbon

I do think knowing what type of learner your child is would be useful to parents but I wouldn't have known how to find out but for my teacher training. Do you have some links, absolutebounder?

My lad is a kinesthetic learner, so the How Do You Feel, Thomas works well as there are things to pull and turn, he counts the pasta into the jars by himself, we act things out a lot, I can keep him occupied by giving him things to plant or climb on etc and he uses his trains to act out conversations.

Some ideas on this might be helpful to other parents as I know it's helped me. (Though it isn't a recipe for an easy life, it certainly helps!)

MortgageMamma

Well he was good and helpful all day yesterday in nursery, happy when he came out, but we did have a little bit (ok well a lot) of tantrum when we brought him in for tea last night. We didnt shout we tried to handle it by talking to him and telling him he could go out after he'd eaten his tea and after about 25 mins he ate his tea and went back out.

Apparently there was another tantrum at shower time (I had gone out for the evening) as after his shower he wanted to play out again. He thinks if its light outside its playtime.

I dont know what kind of a learner he is to be honest and I wouldnt know how to find out. I do know that he responds well to touch and likes being cuddled and talked to softly

absolutebounder

Dont say i dont give you anything.
How to tell the dominant reference in your child or any other adult
There are two ways and you should use both
1) The eyes. look at the person when speaking and to simplify things down ask a question that will make them think in MMs case she could say something like If we go to the zoo what do you think will be there? This is a question he will have to think about but it is not leading him in any way ie if you said what do you think you will see you are leading him to make pictures and then you may get wrong signals.
If you ask correctly his eyes will do one of 3 thingsdepending on how they reference the question.
Visual They will either look up and to one side as they picture the animals or whatever
Auditory They will look to one side but eyes stay level as if trying to look at ears as they try to imagine what it will sound like
Kinesthetic. They will look down and usually towards their dominant hand.

The other way which should be used as well is to listen to how they speak Do they use a lot of words that give away their prefernce I will give a few examples though these are probably more adult words
Visual Focus, see, study, notice, observe, picture, clear, It appears that, big picture,look. enlighten, design etc etc
Auditory Sounds like, babble, bang, listen melody,prattle, silent, squeak swish, tonality, offbeat, tune in to, Clear as a bell, on the same wavelength. etc etc
Kinesthetic. feel, touch base, excited, tense, relax, against the grain, wet, tickle, come to grips with, hold. etc
No person uses only words from one category but if you talk to them in their favourie one you will have far greater success
I am visual and phrases like touch base and how do you feel about that really leave me blank and any one reading this will be able to think of phrases they hate and then realise that is because they are in another modality.
This is very simplified but Im sure people will find it helpful and even fun just trying to work out how to speak so thet people understand you better.

MortgageMamma

Thats extremely helpful thanks, you are not just a pretty face are you.

I cant work out what ben is but I'm a bit of a jumbled up one

I think I am mainly kinesthetic, I don;t think I'm remotely visual what do you think

I will try and figure out what all my kids are this week

MM x

zebulon

Nicki wrote: »

Just because your parents treated you in a particular way doesn't make it right, or legal. We used to transport people to the colonies for shoplifting, and hang them by their necks for stealing sheep. It was legal and socially acceptable at the time, but not considered good practise now.

When you do decide to have some children of your own, maybe you might consider reading up on some alternative disciplining techniqes before situations arise. I'm all for firm boundaries and teaching right from wrong, but the example you have given is illegal, morally wrong, and could lead to your future children being taken into care and you receiving a criminal record.

I'm not trying to have a go at you. You don't have children yet, and maybe haven't thought this through carefully yet. Just putting a warning shot across your bows that when the children do come along, you have to consider whether or not your own parents parenting techniques are still valid.

GGGGRRRRRR sorry but I have to vent -

I've been in the UK for 4 years now - although I kind of get use now, when I arrived I was just so horrified by the kids’ behaviour, any ages. sooo spoiled. so many tantrums everywhere. (I’ve been an au pair here … it’s a life time experience, but once is enough).

I have to warn my family coming over with my nephew this summer - they might end up in jail because he would have got a spank for a very bad behaviour.

If I had bitten someone when I was young I would have prob. receive a bite back.... and maybe it did happen & I don't remember!
But Who’s talking about an adult bite mark on a kid anyway?
Don’t bite back to hurt - just have common sense!
It’s just the shock of the action by a parent that gets its effect.

Your kid is going to hate you for one hour so what, no problem

My nephew is a happy, healthy, active wee 3yo boy who loves his parents, who receive a few treats now and then because it’s life not because he didn’t bite anybody this week (by treat I’m talking £ not ££, a sweet, a little car)

Ah well – anyway – all kids are different – and some of them are just really tough – they won't turn into lamb in 24hrs– being a parent is not easy (even more when you're so worried bcse of what others will think of you)

voila

END OF VENT

So to be more constructive - and knowing that I won't change a country lifestyle
I just would like to say to be careful with the treat thingy so that you don't end up having to buy a motorbike at 10, luxury holiday at 16, brand new car at 18 ... I know it's a bit over the top but i hope you see what I mean
(like a trip to the cinema should be an exciting evenement not became ordinary, having to come with bags of sweets, ice creams etc..)

MortgageMamma

Some interesting points there, which country are you from?

absolutebounder

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Thats extremely helpful thanks, you are not just a pretty face are you.

I cant work out what ben is but I'm a bit of a jumbled up one

I think I am mainly kinesthetic, I don;t think I'm remotely visual what do you think

I will try and figure out what all my kids are this week

MM x

From reading your posts I would agree Kinesthetic but also gustatory (taste) is fairly dominant so I guess you like the feel of food

MortgageMamma

absolutebounder wrote: »

From reading your posts I would agree Kinesthetic but also gustatory (taste) is fairly dominant so I guess you like the feel of food

Taste was important at one time, but not anymore because I suffer from an allergy/hayfever. I've almost entirely lost my sense of smell which is very distressing as I love smelling things (that sounds odd I know, but its stuff like when I cuddle my husband I like to smell his t-shirt or his skin, or when I bath the kids I like smelling their clean hair, the smell of fresh bedlinen, fresh coffee etc).

So because I can't smell I can't taste, which means I don't see much point to eating, so I've stopped eating unless I really need to and lost 12lbs in three weeks - anyway I digress - yes you are right