Please help 3 year old is biting at nursery

alwaysskint96

tigertiger wrote: »

My lil one has been on he other end of this biting lark at pre school lately. A couple of weeks ago got bitten hard on the nose, which went dark purple, left teeth marks and some scarring now...I was not happy! Lil man told me who done it and it was one of the children who I would least imagine. Good for you in seeking advice here..I'm still waiting an apology off the parents, I know if it was mine I would be soo sorry.

They probably haven't told the child's parents WHO he has bitten so they wouldn't know who to apologise to

MortgageMamma

No nurseries generally do not disclose who the child was that was bitten or that did the biting

the only reason they told me is that it was Ben's best friend and all of the staff know me really well - we live in a smallish town

Gingham_Ribbon

My son's nursery tell me if a child has hit him or the other way round. I'm sure they don't tell parents the half of it, but they are happy to give out that sort of information. I've apologised and been apologised to. And as we all say to each other, they're children, it happens, it will pass.

tigertiger_3

alwaysskint96 wrote: »

They probably haven't told the child's parents WHO he has bitten so they wouldn't know who to apologise to

The parents do know and avoid eye contact now. They have also seen the mess on my lil ones nose.

Nicki

shelly wrote: »

I bit a child when I was young, only once though cos my mum bit me when she found out.

My friend done the same thing last month to her boy. He bit a child and got one back.

I don't have kids of my own yet but when I do they will get disciplined for doing wrong. It didn't do me any harm.

Mind you...I say that....I'm a big softie, maybe hubby will be the bad guy

And when social services come round to ask you how your child got an adult sized tooth mark on his body, what do you plan to say?

Just because your parents treated you in a particular way doesn't make it right, or legal. We used to transport people to the colonies for shoplifting, and hang them by their necks for stealing sheep. It was legal and socially acceptable at the time, but not considered good practise now.

When you do decide to have some children of your own, maybe you might consider reading up on some alternative disciplining techniqes before situations arise. I'm all for firm boundaries and teaching right from wrong, but the example you have given is illegal, morally wrong, and could lead to your future children being taken into care and you receiving a criminal record.

I'm not trying to have a go at you. You don't have children yet, and maybe haven't thought this through carefully yet. Just putting a warning shot across your bows that when the children do come along, you have to consider whether or not your own parents parenting techniques are still valid.

shelly

Nicki wrote: »

And when social services come round to ask you how your child got an adult sized tooth mark on his body, what do you plan to say?

Please read my post again. Nowhere in it did I say I would be biting my own children. I said they will be disciplined for doing wrong.

hardpressed

MortgageMamma wrote: »

well something nice happened to me this week - this sounds daft but on ,friday my five year old had her first tooth come out

I'm a right sentimental soppy sod! Then ben says. I want my tooth out. I want the tooth fairy so being the softie that I am I put money under both their pillows!

So he bites other children, throws the hoover down the stairs, deliberatly breaks his sister's glasses then gets rewarded when she looses a tooth! Where is the incentive for him to behave?

absolutebounder

hardpressed wrote: »

So he bites other children, throws the hoover down the stairs, deliberatly breaks his sister's glasses then gets rewarded when she looses a tooth! Where is the incentive for him to behave?

Hes probably working out how much he gets if he knocks all her teeth out.
See other thread about mixed massages to children. I know you want to be a softie and kind but hard pressed is right.

MortgageMamma

Yesterday he was good all day. He helped his keyworker at nursery with all the tasks, and has been dancing and singing and showing off his new spiderman underpants to the girls (you just have to laugh at that)
He came home, went straight out to play, helped make tea, ate all tea without all the usual crabby objections, went back out to help his dad in the garden, had his bath and hot chocolate and straight to sleep.

What did i do different? I had a little chat with him before he went into the nursery and told him if he was a good boy all week, and got five gold stars on the chart, that we would go to blackpool zoo this weekend. The same chat was had this morning before he went in.

Lets watch and see if it incentivises him to behave. I can be firm and kind at the same time I hope.

absolutebounder

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Yesterday he was good all day. He helped his keyworker at nursery with all the tasks, and has been dancing and singing and showing off his new spiderman underpants to the girls (you just have to laugh at that)
He came home, went straight out to play, helped make tea, ate all tea without all the usual crabby objections, went back out to help his dad in the garden, had his bath and hot chocolate and straight to sleep.

What did i do different? I had a little chat with him before he went into the nursery and told him if he was a good boy all week, and got five gold stars on the chart, that we would go to blackpool zoo this weekend. The same chat was had this morning before he went in.

Lets watch and see if it incentivises him to behave. I can be firm and kind at the same time I hope.

So how many kids teeth did he have in his school bag or is the talking working?
Just out of interest why Blackpool zoo? are you hoping they will take him off your hands:rotfl: