MSE pregnancy club II

ab7167

I'm with you all on the emotional thing - I messed up at work yesterday, and it just felt like the end of the world. It really wasn't a big problem, and nothing that couldn't be sorted easily and my boss thought it was a "non-issue" (his words) - but I was almost in tears.

Also I'm starting to worry about how we are going to manage on my maternity pay and OH salary. I earn approx £32k at the moment, and when this drops to £112 per week, it's going to be a big shock. It's not going to be too much of a problem until next June when we need to remortgage, and the amount that interest rates have gone up in the last 2 years means that we will be faced with a massive jump in mortgage payments.

And all of this put together, including the fact that I absolutely, 100% LOVE my job and career path (I know how lucky I am!) means that I am starting to resent this baby, while loving it to bits all the same. And then the conflict between being scared of change (first child), the fact that it was unplanned (birthday celebrations :-)) and having to give up my job means that I am spending most of my time in tears, which isn't helping relationship with OH. Who is lovely, but doesn't really understand about hormones making one a bit unstable.

I've been trying to do my job part time for the last 5 weeks and it just feels like it isn't working out - I work in construction, and things move so fast on building sites that being out of the office 2 days a week is proving to be a problem. this means that I am also worrying about going back part time, as they would probably have a valid case to deny a request for flexible working hours as detrimental to the business. So I spend my 2 days per week holiday answering phone calls, emailing the office and even doing site visits (not something I should be doing at 33 weeks pg anyway!) MW has read me the riot act twice already... I am due to finish next Wednesday for good, but I know that the phone calls will not stop.

Sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant, but I don't know how I should be feeling, so I'm just sat here trying to make it all make sense. I am an intensely logical person, and unfortunatley hormones are not logical which means I just can't work out how to deal with this.

One thing though, I know that construction industry is notoriously untolerant of women (by reputation), but I have never been treated with anything but the greatest respect by anyone I have worked with (oh, apart from once, and he REALLY regretted it) - I think a couple of my sites even have sweepstakes running on the due date! So I don't think that sexist attitudes are part of the issue - just that the work isn't being done cos I'm not at work enough hours.

Sorry if none of that makes sense. It does to me. I think...

A

chocaholic110

hippychick1 wrote: »

I've been really emotional throughout this pregnancy. It's only in the last week or two that I have begun to feel more settled and I'm 34 weeks now. Typical! Hormones just settling down ready to be turned upside down again in a few weeks!
I had my 34 week check up today, and baby is 2/5 engaged :eek: This is my third baby, and I'm sure DS2 never engaged until labour. Does anyone know if this means she could come early? I am so not ready.

I thought it didn't matter and that baby can also "unengage" With both of mine they didn't properly engage until I was ready to give birth but DD was 2/5 engaged one week then only 1/5 the next!

From babycentre website
When should my baby's head engage? If it engages early does that mean I am going to give birth early?




The BabyCentre Editorial Team answers:

As your baby grows towards the end of pregnancy, the shape of your uterus, your liver and intestines encourage your baby's presenting part (usually head, but sometimes bottom) to dip down into the pelvic cavity. This can occur as early as 33 or 34 weeks, but may not happen before labour starts. If the baby engages in the pelvis early this does not mean that you will give birth early. Usually the baby will engage in the pelvis by 37 to 38 weeks, but this process can also be affected by lots of other things.

Felicity

Hi ab, I totally, totally, totally know where you are coming from here!!! eeeeeeeeeee

I too used to have a job that I loved, in a very male dominated environment (IT). I gave up though over a year ago due to illness and stress but mainly because we had tried for many years to have a baby and my work (which was very time consuming and often out of this country) was blamed! Well, you can't conveive a baby if you are not with your OH can you

So, I havent worked through my pregnancy but coming towards the end of it, I am wondering if I will ever work again in a job that I love. Will my baby prevent me from doing so. I don't intend to go back to work for a while and financially I dont really need to apart from like you we will face a huge hike in our mortgage payments in about a years time so will need to consider it then.

Anyway, I am ranting again, I waited many, many years for this baby and it (and my hubby) are the most important things ever, ever, ever, ever to me. Much more important than my career, money or indeed anything else. It's just these thoughts and emotions that keep coming into my head and it is obviously the hormones, LOL!

chocaholic110

hippychick1 wrote: »

I've been really emotional throughout this pregnancy. It's only in the last week or two that I have begun to feel more settled and I'm 34 weeks now. Typical! Hormones just settling down ready to be turned upside down again in a few weeks!

I have been really emotional the last few weeks, crying over the stupidest things. I am also really struggling to sleep and it is making me tired all day and making it hard to cope at work (difficult class, lots of fighting and arguing, difficult boss, loads to do and more added every day.) I finally went to the doctor on Tuesday after breaking up yet another fight. I really wanted to know whether I could take something to help me sleep so that I coud cope better during the day but the doc decided that the not sleeping was not the problem, but a symptom of another problem and signed me off work. Still not sleeping and feel really down but feeling slightly less stressed. What is most worrying is that even though this baby was planned and we have waited two years (2 mc's in that time), and I am pleased about about it I'm not especially excited or wanting to plan / buy things for the baby like I was with my first two.

ab7167

I know the baby should be the most important thing, but work has been so busy through the pregnancy that I have not really been focussing on the baby at all. I am sure that when s/he is born I will have no regrets. I'm just tired of worrying about it all the time. Even though it was unplanned, there was never any thought of not going through with it, OH has wanted children since the day we met (7 years ago!) and it has always been me putting it off with money and career worries. I just worry that I'm going to be a bad mother as I really don't have any maternal feeling yet. Just a large bump, SPD, heartburn and a teeny-tiny bladder. So another thing to resent the baby for, the fact that I'm feeling carp all the time.

I know I should count my blessings, so many people want a baby that can't have one - and mine is set to be healthy, loved and spoiled rotten by 2 loving parents, 3 aunts, 1 uncle and 5 over-excited grandparents.

Although, reading back what I've written - I made the mistake of reading the Daily Mail over the summer sometime, and there was an article about women having their children forcibly adopted at birth. And just the thought of it made my heart stop and provoked 3 sleepless nights worrying about if this would happen to me because I didn't feel broody. So I guess there is some protective instinct going on there, cos I couldn't think of anything worse that could possibly happen to me and OH.

I'm sure the feelings will come.

A

Rince

ab7167 wrote: »

I know the baby should be the most important thing, but work has been so busy through the pregnancy that I have not really been focussing on the baby at all. I am sure that when s/he is born I will have no regrets. I'm just tired of worrying about it all the time. Even though it was unplanned, there was never any thought of not going through with it, OH has wanted children since the day we met (7 years ago!) and it has always been me putting it off with money and career worries. I just worry that I'm going to be a bad mother as I really don't have any maternal feeling yet. Just a large bump, SPD, heartburn and a teeny-tiny bladder. So another thing to resent the baby for, the fact that I'm feeling carp all the time.

I'm sure the feelings will come.

A

I was the same with my first, I had no maternal feeling whatsoever, never have done, but once DS was born and I was left alone with him on the first night, I cried cause I was so happy. God its making me well up now !:o
I really wouldn't worry about not feeling maternal, there are loads of women who feel the same. It'll come to you once baby is born xxx

Agutka

Goodness ladies, you're giving yourselves such a hard time! Stop worrying about what will never happen. You will not be perfect mothers, just bl**dy amazing ones, next year's problems are to be worried and sorted out next year.
All my bump mostly gets is abuse :eek: such as leave mummy alone, I'm trying to relax etc. Does that make me a bad mother, hopefully not.
Maybe I'm more chilled out as have been so busy recently and had no time to think about babies. But then even if I try I can't think much beyond the birth itself... how selfish is that? But I don't care, baby and I will get on just great.

Kzlnd

EDD LIST

crawli1 - 21st Sept
nickydee5 - 25th Sept 07
Sexyminx82 - 25th Sept 07
SeptemberBaby - 26 September 2007
sarahh112 - 27 September 2007
jojo1978 - 29th September 2007 (2 days after daughters 10th birthday)
pestcontrol - 30th September 2007
Agutka - 2nd October 2007
squashy - 9th October 2007
fac73 (Jennifer) - 12th October 2007
casper_la_rue (Caroline) - 13th October 2007
incognito - 14th October 2007
Felicity - 14th October
Joe_Millionaire - 18th October (Not me my Wife)
beckyC - 22nd October
tsstss7 - 22nd October
RenStar - 22nd October
jtotheb's wife - 24 October 2007 (twins!)
Mazcabs 26th October 2007
sunflowergirl - 1st November 2007
THE MIDDLEMAN - 3rd November 2007
clarew - 7 November (twins)
izoomzoom - 8 November
Curious George - 9th November
Hopeless Cook (Cazzie) - 9th November
hippychick1 - 15th November
Rince - 16th November
mickeyme - 21st November 2007
Sadie204 - 27th November
ab7167 (Ali) - 27th November - my M-I-L birthday!
tammyfshr - 1 December 2007
TATOO07 (MY WIFE) - 6th December 2007
Cel - 8th December
kelticangel - 9th December 2007
Ebony - 10th December
Sugarcubed - 11th December
helend - 15th December
jbbonce - 16th december (but hoping to keep my legs crossed til jan)
Beakerange - 18th December (unplanned!! and hoping it will come out earlier)
Nikstar - 23rd December!! unplanned i may add.
flis21 - 25th December (Moved again - according to scan!!!)
bumpybecky - 25th December
Suzukibabe - 28th December
becky_sleaf - 28th December
wilf55 (her daughter, Chelsea) - 29 December 2007
bairnpunter's wife - 29th December 2007
Shelvis - 8 January 2008
Yorkshirechick - 12th January
Phatmouse - 12th January 2008
Sunny Angel- 14th January 2008 (I think!!)
Slapps - 15th Jan 08
Scruffy96uk- 16 Jan 08
tbourne - 20 Jan 08
Ciara111-22 Jan 08
nicola1982 - 23rd Jan 08
pinkmilkplease - 26th Jan 08
chocaholic110 - 27th January 08
Ella_ella_ella - 29th January 08
Cathie - 7th February 08
Melly74 - 17th February 08
Liley9 - 18 February 2008
Loopy-loo73 - 21 Feb 08
Bailey - 22 February 08
alison6692 - 24 February 2008
PiscesPrincess - 24th February 2008
Bun - 25th February
Ella29 - 27th February 08
3KIDSNOMONEY - 28th February 08
Dougggie - 2 March 08
Elliesmum - 8 March 08
ukbBandit - 15 March 2008
Heavenleigh - 24th march 08
Melg1973 - 24th march 08
Newleafer - 27th march 08
Pink Princess 1 - 29th March 08
redflame705 - 8th April 08
machairs - 24th April 2008 (may change after scan)
Kelsi-Blu - 27th April 08
rjh090384 - may 10th 2008!!
JustKeepSwimming - 4th June 2008

TTC LIST

Daisykate124
Cookiesncream
witchyroo
sjm
Fishcake_random
Lesleydejager
jo_jo
picklesmum
durham_girl
likabu
Bun
jo101
MonkeyLady
Pooky
emptypocketz
Miss_pink & Mr Pink
Emjem
Boobylou
lilmrsmullen
jiblets1
Lillian06

BIRTH LIST

jo_b - Boy, Ben, born 07/07/07 @10.14pm, 7ib 5oz, 7 days early
Jenpoptab- Boy, Hayden Arnold born 08.07.07@ 9.32am, 8lb 2.5oz, 9 days OD
noodlebutty (Tricia), Marianne born 10/07/07 @ 5:44am 10lb 6oz
Bargainbabe - Girl, Alexis Freya born on 11/7/07 @ 9:30am 8lb 3oz 5 days OD.
Eels100 - Thomas Joseph born 24/7/07 @ 15.57 8lb 2oz C-section
janinegr, Tom Ryan born 26/07/07 @10:34pm 7lb 15oz
Valentine x - Ella Summer born 29/07/07 @ 9.03am, 8lb 3.5oz, home birth
Shortie - Bradley Joshua, born 31/07/07 @ 19.30. 7lb (3 weeks early)
Terminally Short of Cash - Baby Bill born 02/08/07 7lb 13oz
Caleo - Kaci Paige born 5/8/2007 @ 2035 8lb 2.5oz
Welshlassie - Rhys Templar born 10/08/07 @ 23:00 8lb 6oz (8 days late)
Justie - Isaac born 16/08/07 @ 06.02 6lb 14oz (9 days early)
Saver_Sam - Natasha Emily Elisha born 17/8/2007 @ 23.33, 8lb (8 days early)
Dormouse - Boy, Alex, born 20/08/07 @ 13:47, 8lb 3 oz (8 days early, waterbirth)
Claire Jones- Boy, Charlie (not decided on middle name yet) Jones 23/08/07 @ 3.23am, 8lbs 10.5 ounces (4 days late).
rachelja - Boy, Thomas David, 11/9/07 @ 2.17am, 9lbs 8.5 oz (5 days late)
Kzlnd - Boy, Aiden. Arrived 17/09/07, 1 day early at 1:31pm, 6lbs 11oz.
emma b - girl Phoebe Lilia 19/09/07 7lb 2 10 days late but worth the wait x


PROBABLY GIVEN BIRTH BUT TOO WORN OUT TO LOG ON LIST

Kimmy310 - 1 August 2007
KarieBlue - 1 August 2007
Simone2697 - 2 August 2007
rina-3rd august 2007
LoopyLouLou - 8 August 2007
spannie1000 - 13th August 2007
Libert23 - 16 August 2007
catalepticdru - 17 August 2007
Katym79 - August 19
vzzbux - 2nd Sept
lou031205 - 8th September 2007
LizzieAndThomas- 9th September - A GIRL !!!!!
sarahmoon - 11th September (my fourth help!!)
skintio (kate) 16th september 2007
Almost-skint (sammie) - 16th september 2007 - same as you Kate!!

machairs

On my days off work at the mo so now have a chance to check in.

Had my booking in appt. with the MW on Tuesday which went better than expected. She's the same one I had for ds2 and I never really took to her. This time around she was delighted to see me again so soon and much much more chatty. Whilst going through my notes and filling in the forms, she even found her handwriting on notes taken just after the birth of ds1 which means she must have been one of the MW on the ward. Neither of us can remember each other. So, all is well, just waiting now for date of dating scan although I have already had a sneaky one when I had the pelvic pain. Starting to get a bit excited and planning ahead now. Haven't told family or work yet as I'm waiting for my new niece/nephew to arrive first. Don't want to take the attention of them with their first.

Don't know how my boss will take my news. I'm only back from ML and will be leaving again within the year of my return. My job involves lots of planning ahead for new academic session and student and I'm going to have to tell her I won't be here. Got someone in mind for my cover though so that might make things easier for her.

Enough about me. Sounds like there are lots of hormones flying about at the moment. I hated the last few weeks of pg too. I also missed "talking" to my bump after I gave birth.

Anyway, labour vibes to those who need them.

A

Felicity

Hi, does anybody know about maternity TENS machines?

I've got mine all ready set up but I have heard conflicting reports on if I should test it before I go into labour or not.

I thought not, that you had to wait till labour started, but a freind told me recently it was ok to give it a test run.

Anybody got any thoughts on this?