MSE pregnancy club II

hippychick1

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote: »

Really confused about what to do. I am a real worrier. I just feel that i could be that 1 person. My actual numbers are 1 in 170, but as I am only just 30 that is quite high. So many different outcomes to this - so confused.

Also it is a really difficult thing to tell people about - what would be the reaction of people if i had an amnio and miscarried or got rid of a baby with problems.

Whatever you choose to do has got !!!!!! all to do with anyone else. If you don't feel you can talk to anybody about it, then don't. We're always here for you xxx

Curious_George_2

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote: »

Really confused about what to do. I am a real worrier. I just feel that i could be that 1 person. My actual numbers are 1 in 170, but as I am only just 30 that is quite high. So many different outcomes to this - so confused.

Also it is a really difficult thing to tell people about - what would be the reaction of people if i had an amnio and miscarried or got rid of a baby with problems.

ok first thing to do is stop reading.... if you go looking up stuff on the internet you are going to find a ton of horror stories and frankly you dont need it!
call your midwife and discuss your concerns (your more likely to be able to take in the information now the initial shock of finding out is a bit less) although that number seems quite high, in reality it may not be....
i know this sounds stupid but it can all depend on how you look at the numbers, a 1 in 4 chance sounds really high until you think thats actually a 75% chance of being fine,

and why are you worrying about other peoples reactions? stuff them! this is your baby, your life and YOU that might have to cope with a child with a disability and your 3 other kids.... and whatever you decide to do, wether it be an amnio or less invasive tests or even a termination, thats entirely up to you and your OH, besides which... whatever happens you dont have to tell anyone the whole truth if you dont want too,
and should anyone else have a problem... thats exactly what it is, THEIR problem!

Bun

Hi All!
First of all, congrats to Emma and Sarah on your lovely babies! Got back from holiday and was reading through day after day with no baby yet and really felt for you both! HOpe all is going ok.
Machairs - congratulations too! What a horrible thing to have gone through for now reason.
And congrats to anybody else over the last two weeks who is now in the club etc.

3kidsnomoney - only you know how you feel about the whole thing. Whatever happens or you decide to do, it is nobody else's business - only the person who's whole family will be bringing up a disabled child 24/7 365 days a week can comment on any of it. I am kind of in the same boat - I'm 36 and my Down's figure went from 1.188 to 1.79. It was recommended I took advice. It doesn't sound great but my nuchal fold was 2.6mm when the top was 2.5mm . If it had been 3.5 or 4 then I would have considered it a higher risk. Did they give you this figure if you had the NT scan? Personally I am fine with Down's - I know a fair amount about it, what services we have here, know some working adults, know how my family will be with this etc etc, but that is purely MY experience. My friend knows of someone who's figures were 1.4 and the baby was fine. Personally I am more terrified of an amnio going wrong, so as this is not a deciding factor I'm not having one. However my 20 week scan has been brought forward to next Monday, where I can ask if they can see a nasal bone (70% of Down's babies don't show one on a scan,although obviously 30% do - they will say no comment if they can't) and I can have a private scan if that's what I want to do afterwards. I was in fact more worried about Edwards and Patau's as the quality of life/life expectancy can be terrible, and these thankfully are 1 in 600 odd, so that's fine for me. Again, for me. I know of women who have had to terminate due to the problems of the foetus and they just don't go into details. Sorry if this has been a bit haphazard. I'd just ask for any other options other than amnio if you don't want to go that route. - edit = I would speak to the hospital contact if you can - the information my midwife gave me wasn't correct for this area for my timings.

daphne_descends

3kidsnomoney - I don't think I can add anything and Bun's post sounds like fab info and advice so all I can do is join the chorus - please don't think for a second about what anyone else might think - your decision is exactly that, YOURS to make. You will not be judged here, and stuff anyone that thinks they know better than you!

daphne_descends

Agutka I promise I'm not going into labour, really conscious of anything remotely period-pain like and there's nothing. But yeah the baby falling out kind of feeling - it's horrible! Definitely not wind, I've had plenty of that it's lower than that and sharper, almost painful - the sort of feeling that stops you in your tracks.

The first time my MW had a good pummel to find the baby I thought I was going to a) wet myself or b) cry, or c) both! And she always has freezing cold hands.


Nothing happened during the MOT then - you could have been the talk of the town!

cathie_3

Hello All
Thought I should introduce myself as I have been hanging round for ages.
I am 20 weeks this week and slowly starting to get less paranoid about the whole pregnancy thing following a miscarriage earlier in the year.


I was hoping to get your advise on antenatal classes, we have the option of local classes held by the midwife or NCT classes. I kind of feel I should make the most of the local classes - if they don't get used they may be cancelled - but my sister in law swears by the NCT ones. Anyone got any opinions?

chocaholic110

machairs wrote: »

Well girls, all the baby dust and prayers worked. I am 9+6!!!! :j Sonographer found baby with a very strong heartbeat quickly and was surprised the Gynaecologist couldn't find it. Yahoooooooooo! I am so chuffed. DH was there with me and he said it was like seeing No1 all over again. I had myself all geared up for bad news, even went so far as to tentatively work out childcare and work arrangements for when I had to have the D&C :eek: .

Slightly late, but best news I've heard all day! Congratulations!

Bun

Congratulations! I had the local ones and the best thing was that I made local friends, some of whom I still see three years on. I knew nobody else with babies and it was a lifesaver - the same mums went to my under ones group and it was nice to get to know them beforehand. It does depend on your area/timing though - one friend in another area was told that she would be at least 16 years older than anybody else due at that time for that course and it would benefit her more to do NCT. Many people swear by them although I know some blokes who've found a whole day workshop pretty wearing, as I have to say would I. Personally I didn't find out any information I didnt have before and the sessions of brainstorming were really stupid (check out the one from 'Coupling' series 4 if you can, that's it!) but it was great socially. Just ignore anybody who's had children before and insists on horror stories - if necessary ask the midwife/leader to reign them in as this really upset all of us as we just couldn't get a word in edgeways, and it was not in moderation.

scruffy96uk

Hello and welcome cathie!! You will have to get urself added to the list.

I had my 24 week check today and all is well, fighting fit n healthy!!

3KIDSNOMONEY

Thanks for all the advice.

I wasn't offered a nuchal fold as I am not considered an older mother and they only offer them to older mothers in my area.

In some ways it would be easier to know whether to go for an amnio if my odds were worse.

Never heard of Edwards or Pataus until today and i started reading up on things. So don't believe i have been tested.

Thanks again