Opinions on RSVPs to events.

thorsoak

I can remember being told by a (slightly) older cousin when I was 5-8(ish) that RSVP stood for RATS SHAN'T VISIT PARTY ......always wondered why people had to tell us that!

Is it is one of the Pooh books - or is it Wind in the Willows? Some book like that, I think gives that explanation!

lostinrates

For the last two years we have received an RSVP to a particular function.

While I agree it is rude not to RSVP none of these have been rsvp'd to.

1st year, it arrived the day after the event.
2nd year arrived day of the event


Both occasional I telephoned and explained. Others tell me they have received RSVP invites while on holiday for two weeks, and so while had time to RSVP were not there to do it. Others living between two places or on long breaks have told me the same.

Typically we need significant notice for some dates. Friday evenings in particular.

It's embarrassing to be out in a position where one feels rude by the inviter's failure to allow response time. Of course one should RSVP, but there are valid reasons why sometimes people cannot.

bexiboo92

lostinrates wrote: »

For the last two years we have received an RSVP to a particular function.

While I agree it is rude not to RSVP none of these have been rsvp'd to.

1st year, it arrived the day after the event.
2nd year arrived day of the event


Both occasional I telephoned and explained. Others tell me they have received RSVP invites while on holiday for two weeks, and so while had time to RSVP were not there to do it. Others living between two places or on long breaks have told me the same.

Typically we need significant notice for some dates. Friday evenings in particular.

It's embarrassing to be out in a position where one feels rude by the inviter's failure to allow response time. Of course one should RSVP, but there are valid reasons why sometimes people cannot.

I see what you're saying, but with the joys of modern technology such as Facebook surely it is even ruder to have read a message (when it tells the sender you've read it!) and then not reply, but are able to reply to others' comments etc?

lostinrates

bexiboo92 wrote: »

I see what you're saying, but with the joys of modern technology such as Facebook surely it is even ruder to have read a message (when it tells the sender you've read it!) and then not reply, but are able to reply to others' comments etc?

Tbh, not relevant to me. I am not a Facebook user so I have absolutely no idea how I would integrate it. Dh does have an almost unused Facebook page, and he tells me he wouldn't notice anything other than messages privately, (only be used at all because some people in particular he needs to stay in touch with prefer to communicate that way) and even some of those have gone I unnoticed causing some offence.

If someone relied on dh's Facebook to get a message to us about a posted RSVP then they would be most likely unintentionally overlooked. Not everyone uses the technology in the same way or for the same purpose. I cannot common on how it's most used because ...we just don't do that.

Edit: an email would probably get me, and would certainly reach dh if to his business account. Our new policy is to take time away from personal communication ( as opposed to business communication) at some points though.

E.g. I am only checking email and mse when dh is otherwise busy today. Often we to a whole weekend or holiday together so would not see messages. We have had to start restricting like this to attempt to balance our relationship and time together. E.g. We are hoping to go on holiday soon, and for the first time EVER will only be taking dh's work blackberry and laptop. Dh is actually considering asking for unprecedented permission to not take his laptop.

Some people do actually want to get away from things when they are away, and that is what we want to do!

Goldiegirl

I do belong to Facebook, but I never look at it, I'm thinking of deleting myself.

People who might issue me an invitation would never do it by Facebook, as they know I'd never see it.

But if I got an invite by any other means, be it by letter, email or text, and RSVP was requested, I wouldn't dream of not replying. (as long as it was received before the event that is!)

I think it's rude to ignore the request

balletshoes

bexiboo92 wrote: »

I see what you're saying, but with the joys of modern technology such as Facebook surely it is even ruder to have read a message (when it tells the sender you've read it!) and then not reply, but are able to reply to others' comments etc?

as on a few other threads involving facebook, i think its clear that people use FB for different things. I wouldn't reply to a group invitation on facebook. It wouldn't occur to me that I should.

bexiboo92

balletshoes wrote: »

as on a few other threads involving facebook, i think its clear that people use FB for different things. I wouldn't reply to a group invitation on facebook. It wouldn't occur to me that I should.

How about a private message?

balletshoes

bexiboo92 wrote: »

How about a private message?

it depends if i notice i have a private message.

Macca83_2

Here's a question. Would it be considered rude to reply to a rsvp by text message?

Bella73

nearlyrich wrote: »

I always respond before the deadline if there is one and as soon as I know if I and anyone else on my invitation can attend ususally within a couple of days of getting the invitation. I think ikt's rude not to reply as someone organising a party has enough to do without chasing people up.

Exactly this, it's extremely rude to not reply