Dmp Mutal Support Thread (Part Two)

ilovegreatdanes

hi all,
scared....i got a ccj in 1996 and went to court, but you dont have to. cccs will advise you on all the stuff to do and what to write.at court i saw the judge and he looked at my expenses and said how much i had to pay every month.if egg dont agree its enough, they can put a charge on your house, incase you sell it, then you have to pay any profits from the sale to your debt.but cccs know all the details.dont worry ,they cant make you sell your house, they just put a note on the mortgage, i think.make sure you always pay your ccj every month and are never late, cos thats when they can send the baliffs.am sorry if i have scared you, cos it sounds awful written down but prob wont even get to a charge.when judge knows cccs are with you they tend to side with you cos they know you are dealing with your debts and you are serious.
hope everyone is ok.
love ilgd xx

scared_2

Thank you for your lovely messages

I had a little girl and she's beautiful. We went to the cccs a month before I was due to give birth (march this year) so it was a really stressful time, but luckily she has taken my mind of a lot of it and most credit card companies have been ok considering we have about £100k debt between them all.. Except for Lloyds but we have a bout £30k debt with them and they where our bank as well.

Also I've got debt with Morgan Stanley and they have been ok, but are still charging a bit of interest!!!! do you think I should call them and see if they will cancel the interset????

Also can you still apply for a IVA when you have a ccj as I think eventually we will have to go down that root when the kids start school and I can go back to work.

Sorry to go on and on but you all have fantastic advise.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

toasti

HI not been on here for ages am really sorry!!!!
Anyway I got letter from egg saying they've passed me on to DCA so I rang cccs and lady I spoke to said the DCA may just see how it goes for a while and if I am making payments then she said it should be ok.
I am so stressed at the minute though here's why:
1. NO CASH
2. I feel like I should tell parents about the whole sorry mess but they will kick off big time and I'm already upset enough as it is (crying as I type this).
3. I feel like I am losing my friends (not because of the cash thing but diff reasons) and I am feeling really lonely.
4. I do not like where I am living but cannot afford to move back to hometown to live by myself and at age 27 feel too old to even consider going back to live with my parents.
I feel like my whole life is a mess and I keep crying all the time

rayday2

toasti - you sound really fed up. You are not alone but sometimes we feel it.

How come you have no cash at all? Are you over committed on your DMP? Or no judgements here are you slipping re spending - she says with a £100 overdraft at the moment!

I know what you mean I could never go to live back with parents I have changed so much since I lived at home. Are you sure your parents would kick off if all you are doing is telling them rather than asking for money. You are being really responsible and have learnt some good lessons early in life - hell had I been through what you have at 27 I would be a lot more comfortable now - and thats the point in time you will be too.

We just need to keep you boosted until then.

Take care
Rach
x

scared_2

Tosti -

Would it be really bad if you did try and tell your parents??? I told my mum but did lie and only said £50k instead of £100k as I think she would of passed out, but at least she knows about some of it.

I know what you mean about no cash!!!! I went swimming with friends the other day and had to make an excuse about staying to have lunch as had no money, it really put me in a bad mood and made me just get angry about the mess we ahve put ourselfs in. I also want to by things for my little girl but just cant afford it and it would be great to have a few nights out on the town but have to make more excuses!!!!

I have days too that I just cry, but I just keep thinking at least i am dealing with it now as if it had carried on then we would of lost our home.

Don't feel alone at least we've got this forum to chat to each other and we all understand each others problems as only my mum knows about me and my husbabds debt and I dont like to go on to much to her as she worrys.

make sure you post back and let me know how you are.

toasti

Hi thank you
Well it's my own fault I am broke I got bank charges from hsbc back but this went straight to offsetting my debt with them (so I guess that is good in that it has knocked a couple of months off my DFD). I am overdrawn by a couple of hundred pound as I have had to have my car serviced and that came to just over £300 so not pleased with that at all.
I am so upset at things,what makes it worse is that as I am a teacher I should have enough cash but I don't!Plus I have 4 more weeks off and no money to do anything! Although all my friends are working anyay so would't even be able to anything even if I did have any cash. I have registered cv with a couple of agencies for summer work for the cash and for something to do.
As for telling my parents I would not know eher to start. I was talking to my Dad a few weeks ago about one of my mates who is in debt and how she is thinkin of going to cccs and he said Yeah I guess they do help some people don't they.So he seemed ok but I guess it's always different with your own kids tjough. My Mum would kick off big time she went mad at me when I took some cash out of my own isa (her and dad pay money into it)!!
I just feel so down at the minute and can't cope with it anymore

newlywed

Toasti - about the summer thing - why not see how many different parks, museums and local places you can go to for free? Take a sandwich with you and a bottle of water (from the tap) and explore where you live? Or nearby towns and villages if you have petrol money?

Know it's not a huge amount of fun on your own but see how much you can find to do for free.

rayday2

I really relate to how you feel. I think we all at times feel we should have known better, but you know what we do now !

I would have a quiet word with your dad tell him the friend you were talking about is you and you genuinely feel ashamed. How can a Dad crisicise that? As for mums our nagging and moaning covers what we are feeling and we do back down when we see that our little ones are truely suffering.

Are there any youth work vacancies round your way? Check your council website that is a way of earning a little extra and also maybe a couple of weekdays less you have to worry about "going out" - just an idea not saying you do not work hard enough!

toasti

Hi
Have looked on council site and cannot find anything so just going to cross fingers for something to turn up from one of recruitment sites I have signed up with.
I really do not know what to do about telling parents. I see what you are saying but it's so difficult. I am scared that they will disown me or something silly like that! I really don't know what to do. Half of me thinks it may be best to tell them, the other half thinks it may be best to keep quiet. I am seeing them tomorrow but don't know what to do. I spent so much because I had depression when I was ay uni and it made me feel better to buy things (my parents do not know any of this, do not know I went to counselling,was on antidepressants,tried to hurt myself). I do not want to dredge through all of that

rayday2

I can appreciate all your saying, if you feel it is all completely dealt with then you are just going to kick yourself when down by raking all over it.

The thing that worries me most is that if you have had depression in the past then it can come back, money worries like you have can make you feel very isolated, if you feel this is the case please nip back to the doctors and do something before things get real bad again.

I would not plan on telling your parents anything but on the day if it feels right then do it, if not leave it.

I wish I could just give you a hug really and tell you it will be ok, which it will but when you are really down they are just words and don't make you feel any better.

Take care
Rach
x