Depression II

Tiff_2

Hi andi!:hello:
How are you feeling this morning hun?

quote=andipandi
anyone have a view as to whether it would be pertinent to attend ex MILs funeral on tuesday,been on my mind but i think ex would play up,thing is though its not about her,its about myself paying due respect to ex MIL.
Bit of a minefield this isn't it angel?
Sorry for the family's loss.
Here's my honest opinion for what it's worth andi.

Hun, it is about your ex-wife too - this is her mother and she will be deeply grief-stricken and unpredictable. It wouldn't be worth it to incite your ex-wife's anger at the funeral.
I think it's admirable that you want to pay your respects hun but you have to define to yourself exactly what that means to you.
Would it be possible for you to call your ex-wife first thing this morning and ask her if you may attend out of respect and as support for the family? If she says no this morning, it will give her time to call you back later if she has a change of heart.
Have you already spoken to her since her mother passed? How did she react to you, if you did?
If your wife is very likely to be volatile hun, it's best to maybe stay away, which would still be out of respect for your mil.

Other options are...
- You could visit your mil privately and alone once everyone has gone and it would still mean as much and still be paying your respects.
- Is it possible for you to go and visit your mil privately at the chapel of rest at the funeral home today andi? That would also mean just as much.
-You could send flowers, a card and/or a charity donation with your name on, expressing your sadness and respect.
-Another alternative would be to go and sit at the back of the church and leave just before the end of the service so that your ex-wife doesn't get triggered at a highly vulnerable time.


I don't know if any of these help andi,:o but your first step today imho, should be to call her and ask how she is, can you do anything, need help with the children (do they want you to attend?) etc., and then broach asking her permission to attend your mils funeral.

some info here ,one of my children had op and my eldest nearly drowned in sea , when i found out and asked why i wasn't told about daughters op(so i could go visit)and asked for details about eldest nearly drowning was told that neither was any of my business,this is often how my ex sees things so if i ask to turn up i know what response i will get so am thinking of turning up and then leaving quietly after funeral, /quote]
It's a tough call when someone is so unco-operative angel. No-one can predict how she'll react in a situation where she's hurting so much emotionally.
Contact her today hun to break the ice and see what happens. I've only given you options andi - it's down to you to make the choice in the end. You have to do what you know is right hun and that may not be decided until the last moment tomorrow.

Good luck angel - we'll all be thinking of you andi.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

queensway_boy

Good luck sf :T :T :T

queensway_boy

Huggys to everyone

queensway_boy

rbk
your signature:rotfl: that was soooooooooo funny when lesley said that:D :T

Tiff_2

Hi katie!:hello:
How are you hun?
quote=Tulip;
Hi Tiff,
Hope Tiffy is having a great weekend,I am off soon now as want to go out and get some fresh air,I am alright
I'm all right thank you hun.;) It's nice to hear you go out and enjoy a break in the fresh air - takes you away from problems too sometimes.

I dont have any boyfriend as I got hurt so much by them and my parents had to pick up the pieces,Life isnt a bed of Roses and the perfect man is out there but its just knowing where to look.
You're right in a lot of what you said angel. I'm a firm believer that the right people just seem to find each other, meet in some unexpected way. He/she will probably find you.;) It's not usually done through a mightclub sort of situation, where it's hard to communicate unless you're using your tongue!:rolleyes:
Life isn't a bed of roses angel and sometimes that's down to people looking for the perfect man or woman, when perfect really doesn't exist. However, we can find the best person and the best love that we can and work together to make it the best relationship you can have.
I had been engaged once and the boyfriend had been moody so I ended it.I didnt want a moody fiance in my life and I realised I couldnt marry him as I couldnt see him in my life not after being so moody to my friends.I am just happy being single as I can do what I like without sharing it with a boyfriend as you have to compromise and do things together when I like my space and quiet and with someone I lose that freedom.Sorry to preach too I may find the right man someday but until then I am just enjoying life and I am living it the way I want to,I have men friends and for me thats just nice
Good for you hun!:T I'm glad you're happy.;)
I believe that we shouldn't be tagged and numbered automatically. You can have as much pleasure out of life if you're happy being on your own, living on your terms. Equally, it's just as wonderful if we are with that right someone. When you're ready, you'll let someone into your heart.
If you think about it, some of the married people would love to be single and there are some single people would love to be married!
I'm sure you'll find your happy ending when it's time angel. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

EthelBloggs

hiya evryone!!! :hello: :wave:

Well I'm back from the conference in one piece.. got a bit of a tan, made some fab new friends, did some networking and am absolutely shattered!!!!!

The hotel was nice on first glance.. but it had no air con and the bedroom windows would only open a few inches at the top :eek: on the plus side I could look out the window straight out to the sea which was lovely. The meals provided were 'interesting' :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: and what was really weird is that there was nowhere to get decent drinking water.. the hotel, which was in the middle of nowhere, didn't stock bottled water and there were no shops around - so I do feel very dehydrated after 3 days of watery tea, vinegary wine and whatever was available at the bar, lol

We did have one ride into town by tram to get some bits n pieces - mostly sticks of rock n crap like that and on saturday me and a couple of other delegates skived off and went to the beach, we got covered in mud and sand and then I had to have 2 strange men in my room to clean off (they'd been overspilled to another hotel miles away) When the people from my group rang to say there were on their way back from their educational trip, they asked jokingly if I was wiht a man so when I said no.. I was with two.. the gasps were hilarious and the expression on their faces when they got back was a picture

However it must be said that 3 nights of going to bed at 2 and up again at 6.30 has certainly taken it's toll.. I guess I'm not as young as I like to think I am :rotfl:

Gonna have a read back now.. hope you're all fine and been good while I was away xxx

EthelBloggs

andipandi wrote: »

hmmm think i will say this,when i met my mum after 31 yrs(on this planet) ex said to me "whats it like to wait 31 years to meet your mum and then find out shes a nutter", (indeed i was adopted)

kind regards

Andy

Gawd she sounds a nightmare.. good job she's your ex really. For what it's worth, I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago when my brother in law died. One of my sister in laws invited me cos she knew I'd always got on well with him but I didn't want to be the cause of any trouble or scenes so I stayed away. I lit a candle for him here at home instead and raised a glass to him - I figured that even tho I wasn't among the crowd, he'd know I'd remembered him anyway and why I chose to do it my way, although he'd have loved the drama if I'd turned up :rotfl:

EthelBloggs

slowlyfading wrote: »

Thanks for the hug. I'll look out for that oil tomorrow

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :kisses: :kisses: :kisses3: :kisses3: :kisses3: :kisses3: for you. I can't stress how much I'm here for you if you need it.
sf x x

good luck for the exam SF.. and I second the suggestion of the bio-oil, its fantastic stuff, about £9 for the little bottle but a little goes a long way and you'll see huge improvements within 5-6 weeks

EthelBloggs

Karrie wrote: »

Hi everyone


I am off back to the docs tomorrow re meds. I came off them a while ago now and feel ok. At least I can do a whole day without constantly yawning. My heart is still missing a beat and I have chest pains so I guess I'll have to speak to her about that. Blimey, since I turned 40 everything has gone wrong. Oh and I may hear tomorrow if I am being made redundant.

I realised that I am a funny !!!!!!. One minute I am a great person and the next I can be really down and offish. One minute I love my partner with all my heart and the next I wonder if we should be together. How can I expect him to understand me when I don't understand me!

Oh I am just rambling now and best I shut up.

Hugs to all

Good luck at the docs.. he might be able to suggest something else for you to try.. as to the other stuff.. we must be twins then

geminilady

slowlyfading wrote: »

Thanks guys! I'm sat here, all ready to go, nervous as anything! Tried to cover up my arms with make-up, its still obvious, but its the best I can do. Just think, in 2 hours time I'll be just about to go in! I can't wait until this is over, my second year will be done with!
Speak to you later, and hope everyone has a good day.
-hugs-
sf x x

GOOD LUCK SF THINKING OF YOU