Depression II

Tiff_2

Hi gilly!
How are you angel?

quote=gillette147;
Hi folkes,
Maybe I don't have depression, just sadness.
I am just so down - not sad even, just unbothered.
I see friends on msn but I stay hidden. I have no enthusiasm for anything. Bored but don't want to do anything either.
Depression can come in different forms angel - including apathy.:o The fact that you say you have no interest in anything could be a symptom of it. Depression is not all about falling apart and screaming and crying - the symptoms are many hun. I think you should see your gp hun to have a review with your dr gilly hun.

I have to fill in a huge form for DWP and I have to do my CV tomora. Dreading both tasks. Spent hours yesterday looking for jobs on i-net. Low pay, none in nice areas, and the thought of doing this new career is scaring me a bit/lot.
No wonder you feel flat hun - those DWP forms are designed to suck the life out of you!:eek: :rolleyes: If it was for DLA, I hope you got help from CAB or DIAL to fill it in hun - makes a big difference.;)
Most computers have some kind of template for CVs - is it in Publisher? Word? It hurts the head though trying to account for all you've learned and worked and when!
New career and job-hunting are stressful hun. I hope something will come up soon - you're a clever badger.:A

Had a row with g/f. Haven't spoken for two days now. I unblocked her tonite (she was set to away). Then a bit later she logged off. So she's in no hurry to put it right either. I'm wondering whether I should end it (or let it end). My illness showed up how little I am in her life. She didn't want to see me this weekend because her daughter is home. She tried to blame my illness. But if she cared about me she would have wanted to see me. I've been through an awful week of vomit and pain and had to do it all alone.
Gilly badger, that's a real shame hun.:o If a relationship is important, it doesn't matter who makes the first move. If you'd blocked her, how would she have known that you'd unblocked her if you didn't email her hun?

No angel - you're more than an illness!
By saying that she's having her daughter home and actually said she was worried about your illness, she may have been trying to look after everyone the best she can.
Was it the fact maybe that it was your physical illness she was worried about?

If it was about your mental ill health, I don't know how old her daughter is angel, but children might not be ready to see someone at their lowest and as her mother, maybe she had that decision to make sweetheart.
Go on angel - get in touch with her; it's better than worrying about what might be happening gilly hun.;)

She wouldn't think to borrow her mom's car to see me but she borrowed it to fetch daughter on friday. This relationship makes me feel like a 2nd class citizen, and rather than caring about that she just says yes you are (in so many words). I'm not strong enough to be treated as so unimportant. My depression comes from feelings of no-one caring....and she is incapable of offering me a relationship that makes me feel special.
I dunno......
Those last words are the ones to concentrate on hun - you don't know!
When we get low angel, we can misinterpret what someone means or even anticipate it sometimes. Could this be the case as you say she said it, ''in so many words''? Was she stressed out too, feeling that she couldn't live up to what you expect?

Gilly hun, the only way to know where this relationship is and what you mean to her, is by talking to her.;)
You have been through such a rough trot over the last couple of weeks angel - your mental and physical resources are very low after being so poorly.:o You know you're much liked here hun,:A :T and that's why I've said all this. If it's not the right relationship, then at least you'll know and you can set yourself free to go forward. Try not to make it an all-or-nothing situation sweetie.;)

I hope you are all duin ok. I see lots of walks have been taken today.
Sorry I haven't been participating much lately - part of my not wanting to do anything. But I always read the thread and I send you my wishes always.
You're part of the family gilly badger! We all know you think of us I'm sure and you surely must know how many friends you have here whenever you need them hun. I'm glad the physical illness is over with for the most part - just concentrate now on building yourself up.;)

Of course, Tiffy is single so you may want to check with someone (everyone!:rolleyes: ) else, before following anything i say on this subject gilly!:D Thinking of you angel - take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

What ethel said!!!

Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Karrie wrote: »

I think accepting depression is one huge step to moving on. Took me years but I now accept that it is part of my life sometimes and although it is a living hell sometimes, it's me. Do you drink every day? Ahh I missed Dr Who saw last weeks so missed the 2nd part. Pants!!

Hi karrie!:hello:
How are you angel?
I agree. We eventually get to a point where we have to learn to accept what we can't change about our mental ill health and manage it instead. Accepting we have such illnesses is so hard but so very important. And I agree again hun, it can take years to accept that for some so you're not alone there.;)
Hope all is well with you angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi katie!:hello:
I hope you're well hun and that the week has started off well for you.

quote=tulip
Tiff well what can I say about the lovely Tiffy other than I hope shes having a great weekend
Awww shucks!
Thank you for your lovely thoughts katie.:A
I'm fine hun thank you - Tiffs always are!;)
I hope you're as nice to yourself as you are to everyone here.:T Take care hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

:hello: imported_goldie, First of all welcome to the depression thread.

I think the best thing to do would be to sit down with your sister and be totally honest with her about how you feel.

Does she ever invite you out for a meal with them? If not, is it perhaps something that you could suggest you do?

Have you ever spoken to a professional about your depression? It's horrible to suffer in silence as I'm sure you are well aware of.

Keep posting. Hopefully you will get lots of support here.

rose07, Maybe I should go back to the GP. He never really does anything though. I don't even know how he can help me.

I've had a look at the pictures that you took. It looks like so much fun and madness Definately go on that bungee thing How long does the event last? The whole thing looks great. Sooo many people involved as well. Does it happen every year?

Katie, :hello: When do you next see your specialist or haven't they told you yet? I hope everything is fine.

Yeah she's pretty crap tbh. Offers no help/advice nothing. She may as well stop wasting both of our time. Her sitting there nodding and staring makes me so :mad: *sigh*

I think I am a failure Katie. I'm still the same as I was.

I hope you have a good day. Look after yourself. xxx

queensway_boy

Good morning everyone,looks like another hot day here.Hope everyones keeping well?(as can be)

queensway_boy

imported_goldie wrote: »

Not posted here before but have beenreading thisthread for along time. You all seem to knoweach other so well so feel in a way i am intruding.

I am suffering from depression big time and just feel so lonely. I dont see anyone from one day to the next and part of me likes it that way as i dont have to face anyone but i also feel lonely. I have a hearing loss, social phobia and depression so asyou can imagine I dont really like going out much. I just "get through" each day but when i see my sister (shehas4 kids and lotsof grandchildren) and she tellsme shehas been staying at one of her kidsovernight, had a great time etc., I feel even more depressed and very jealous. I am in my mid 50's and suddenly find myself with no friends/no social life. My sister who i thought i was close to, when i really look at it, only comesround when she has aproblem. When all iswell with her shedoesnt comeround but has all her family to visit and go out for mealswith. I dont talk to her about my depression but she knows i dont go out so must know how hurtful it iswhen she goes on and on about the lovely time she hashad going for a meal with her kids.

Sorry to go on but just feeling so very v ery low right now.

....................................

EthelBloggs

imported_goldie wrote: »

Not posted here before but have beenreading thisthread for along time. You all seem to knoweach other so well so feel in a way i am intruding.

I am suffering from depression big time and just feel so lonely. I dont see anyone from one day to the next and part of me likes it that way as i dont have to face anyone but i also feel lonely. I have a hearing loss, social phobia and depression so asyou can imagine I dont really like going out much. I just "get through" each day but when i see my sister (shehas4 kids and lotsof grandchildren) and she tellsme shehas been staying at one of her kidsovernight, had a great time etc., I feel even more depressed and very jealous. I am in my mid 50's and suddenly find myself with no friends/no social life. My sister who i thought i was close to, when i really look at it, only comesround when she has aproblem. When all iswell with her shedoesnt comeround but has all her family to visit and go out for mealswith. I dont talk to her about my depression but she knows i dont go out so must know how hurtful it iswhen she goes on and on about the lovely time she hashad going for a meal with her kids.

Sorry to go on but just feeling so very v ery low right now.

Please don't feel like you're intruding.. we all were new on this thread once, that's how we got to know each other.. it's lovely to have someone new with us

It's so easy to be hurt by things that other people consider normal when we're feeling a bit low.. I know I certainly do and feel as tho people are telling me stuff just to make me feel worse, of course that's not the case, they're just sharing their news and it's me being over-sensitive.

Would your sister not invite you along too sometimes? or if that's difficult for you to get out, maybe you could invite her and her family round to your place for a meal - even a bbq in the garden or on your balcony or whatever? Maybe you should confide in her tho about how low and lonely you are feeling, sometimes people aren't good at spotting the clues and need a bloody great neon sign stuck in front of them

I do sympathise with the hearing loss, it's something I suffer from intermittently and it does make you feel as tho you might as well not be there because of finding convos etc hard to follow. Have you seen your gp about your depression and social phobia? I've been reading about neuro-linguistic programming lately and I think that's something which is helpful sometimes, perhaps it's something you could explore when you feel up to it

Do stick with us, we'll be here to support you as much as you need, and when you feel more comfy with us, you'll drag us along too

Tiff_2

:T quote=razorbladekisses;
My ex treated me like crap. Although it took me a while to find the courage to finally end things. When I tried to kill myself he didn't come to visit me in hospital, he didn't come to visit me on the psychiatric ward. Back then I just thought oh perhaps he's busy but then a few weeks later it really got to me. If he really cared/loved me he would have been there. He made no time for me at all. He'd rather go out with his friends every weekend than make any plans to see me. If he did come to see me, he would come at like 10pm and be gone by 8/9 in the morning as he had stuff to do with his friends. I was always 2nd best. Looking back on it now, I'm glad the relationship is over./quote

Hi rbk!
How are you hun? I hope you're looking after yoursself properly hun.;)
This part of your post is wonderful hun in the respect that you got a wake up call and got rid of this 'man'. Your post shows that indeed, you are a lot stronger than you think angel!;)
To be fair, not everyone can handle being in a relationship with someone who has mental ill health issues and that's something we may have to accept because as people, we all have our limits. Other people can't stand the thought of going near any kind of hospital if they can help it -(hi mac hun!:hello:;) )- and we have to respect that.
So though not nice, these are two valid reasons for not visiting you. But there's no excuse for no calls, cards or flowers or even just a letter to cheer you up.
However, you saw through the way he mistreated you in all the other ways and that's what you based your decision on.
It devastates us at the time to know someone thinks so little of us, and I bet you never thought at that time, that you would have posted what you have here, saying that you're glad you ended it. It just shows how we can grow and change and that sometimes, it's better to be on your own than in the wrong relationship.
Take care rbk - you keep going hun!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

EthelBloggs

Tiff wrote: »

Hi gilly!
How are you angel?

quote=gillette147;


She wouldn't think to borrow her mom's car to see me but she borrowed it to fetch daughter on friday. This relationship makes me feel like a 2nd class citizen, and rather than caring about that she just says yes you are (in so many words). I'm not strong enough to be treated as so unimportant. My depression comes from feelings of no-one caring....and she is incapable of offering me a relationship that makes me feel special.
I dunno......

Just had a thought.. and this is no reflection you at all gilly.. but a man will always come second to a woman's children, regardless of whether he's their father or not... its the nature of the beast of parenthood.. kids always come first. I think it's how we're programmed even when they're big and don't need us anymore :eek:


Hope you're feeling a bit more positive today Mr Badger.. relationships are a bloody minefield aint they. looking back i think I was pretty awful to my b/f and didn't include him in things, simply because I thought he wouldn't be interested/the kids wouldn't like it/my mum wouldn't like it and I think that's a big part of why things were so awful for us for so long. I've had a good look at myself and how I would feel in his shoes and things are improving.

megahuggs xxxxxx