Depression II

rose07

Tulip wrote: »

:hello: Rose07,

How has the weekend been for you? hope its been ok.My weekend has been great I went for an hours walk today with my parents which I havent done for ages as I hadnt felt up to it.I watched Dr Who tonight and it was brillient,then Any dream will do where I voted for Keith to stay and he was saved as hes now in next weeks final then I watched Casualty and then Any dream will do again for the results show.I got a bath after that and washed my hair so that was my evening sorted.

well I am off now,

I will chat tomorrow


lots of love and light,

Katie xxx

Hi Katie

Yeah, im having a busy weekend soo far

Sounds like you having a good time of it, thats great hun :T

Yeah i watched the josephs tonight, i wanted ben to stay, boo, lol.


sweet dreams xxx

rose07

To all the family RBK, Tiff, sazzie, gillette, katie, karrie, cb2, lrs, ltd, blinky, stenny, MC, Ethel, sf et all




ok im soo exhausted,



xxxx

gillette147

Hi folkes,

Maybe I don't have depression, just sadness.
I am just so down - not sad even, just unbothered.
I see friends on msn but I stay hidden. I have no enthusiasm for anything. Bored but don't want to do anything either.

I have to fill in a huge form for DWP and I have to do my CV tomora. Dreading both tasks. Spent hours yesterday looking for jobs on i-net. Low pay, none in nice areas, and the thought of doing this new career is scaring me a bit/lot.

Had a row with g/f. Haven't spoken for two days now. I unblocked her tonite (she was set to away). Then a bit later she logged off. So she's in no hurry to put it right either. I'm wondering whether I should end it (or let it end). My illness showed up how little I am in her life. She didn't want to see me this weekend because her daughter is home. She tried to blame my illness. But if she cared about me she would have wanted to see me. I've been through an awful week of vomit and pain and had to do it all alone.

She wouldn't think to borrow her mom's car to see me but she borrowed it to fetch daughter on friday. This relationship makes me feel like a 2nd class citizen, and rather than caring about that she just says yes you are (in so many words). I'm not strong enough to be treated as so unimportant. My depression comes from feelings of no-one caring....and she is incapable of offering me a relationship that makes me feel special.

I dunno......

I hope you are all duin ok. I see lots of walks have been taken today.
Sorry I haven't been participating much lately - part of my not wanting to do anything. But I always read the thread and I send you my wishes always.

xxxx

Tulip

gillette147 wrote: »

Hi folkes,

Maybe I don't have depression, just sadness.
I am just so down - not sad even, just unbothered.
I see friends on msn but I stay hidden. I have no enthusiasm for anything. Bored but don't want to do anything either.

I have to fill in a huge form for DWP and I have to do my CV tomora. Dreading both tasks. Spent hours yesterday looking for jobs on i-net. Low pay, none in nice areas, and the thought of doing this new career is scaring me a bit/lot.

Had a row with g/f. Haven't spoken for two days now. I unblocked her tonite (she was set to away). Then a bit later she logged off. So she's in no hurry to put it right either. I'm wondering whether I should end it (or let it end). My illness showed up how little I am in her life. She didn't want to see me this weekend because her daughter is home. She tried to blame my illness. But if she cared about me she would have wanted to see me. I've been through an awful week of vomit and pain and had to do it all alone.

She wouldn't think to borrow her mom's car to see me but she borrowed it to fetch daughter on friday. This relationship makes me feel like a 2nd class citizen, and rather than caring about that she just says yes you are (in so many words). I'm not strong enough to be treated as so unimportant. My depression comes from feelings of no-one caring....and she is incapable of offering me a relationship that makes me feel special.

I dunno......

I hope you are all duin ok. I see lots of walks have been taken today.
Sorry I haven't been participating much lately - part of my not wanting to do anything. But I always read the thread and I send you my wishes always.

xxxx

Gilette,

I dont know what I can say but give you a big hug

Dont worry about not participating much lately on the thread just post when you feel up to it.

lots of love and light,

Katie xxx

EthelBloggs

gillette147 wrote: »

Hi folkes,

Maybe I don't have depression, just sadness.
I am just so down - not sad even, just unbothered.
I see friends on msn but I stay hidden. I have no enthusiasm for anything. Bored but don't want to do anything either.

I have to fill in a huge form for DWP and I have to do my CV tomora. Dreading both tasks. Spent hours yesterday looking for jobs on i-net. Low pay, none in nice areas, and the thought of doing this new career is scaring me a bit/lot.

Had a row with g/f. Haven't spoken for two days now. I unblocked her tonite (she was set to away). Then a bit later she logged off. So she's in no hurry to put it right either. I'm wondering whether I should end it (or let it end). My illness showed up how little I am in her life. She didn't want to see me this weekend because her daughter is home. She tried to blame my illness. But if she cared about me she would have wanted to see me. I've been through an awful week of vomit and pain and had to do it all alone.

She wouldn't think to borrow her mom's car to see me but she borrowed it to fetch daughter on friday. This relationship makes me feel like a 2nd class citizen, and rather than caring about that she just says yes you are (in so many words). I'm not strong enough to be treated as so unimportant. My depression comes from feelings of no-one caring....and she is incapable of offering me a relationship that makes me feel special.

I dunno......

I hope you are all duin ok. I see lots of walks have been taken today.
Sorry I haven't been participating much lately - part of my not wanting to do anything. But I always read the thread and I send you my wishes always.

xxxx

Awww gilly sweetheart...... I just want to give you a massive hug and squeeze all that sadness out of you! :kisses3:
You shouldn't have been alone all week with that.. I know how bad tonsillitis is and you needed someone there to help you.. seems very unfair that you didn't have that, cos I sense that had things been the other way round, you'd have been where you were needed. Not sure really what to say about it, I think you need to get your thinking cap on and make a decision about your future with your g/f. Don't forget, your body has had a huge trauma with being so ill and although you might feel better, it will take a few weeks to recover so be very kind to yourself and don't try to overdo things too soon.

Those forms you need to do, don't try and do them all in one hit, do a bit at a time over a few days and it won't seem so bad, that's what I did when I had those nasty forms to do hun.

I know what you mean about reading and not posting, I do the same quite a lot lately.. I just don't feel as tho I have anything worthwhile to contribute. On the plus side, I'm off my ADs so I'm wondering now if I have that SAD thing, cos it does seem to follow a pattern that I start feeling crappy in September or so, and perk up in may/June.

I'm happy to add you to my msn if you would like it, pm me and let me know and we can swap details

Lots of love and huggs to the gorgeousest badger this side of the moon :kisses3: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Karrie

gillette147 wrote: »

Hi folkes,

Maybe I don't have depression, just sadness.
I am just so down - not sad even, just unbothered.
I see friends on msn but I stay hidden. I have no enthusiasm for anything. Bored but don't want to do anything either.

I have to fill in a huge form for DWP and I have to do my CV tomora. Dreading both tasks. Spent hours yesterday looking for jobs on i-net. Low pay, none in nice areas, and the thought of doing this new career is scaring me a bit/lot.

Had a row with g/f. Haven't spoken for two days now. I unblocked her tonite (she was set to away). Then a bit later she logged off. So she's in no hurry to put it right either. I'm wondering whether I should end it (or let it end). My illness showed up how little I am in her life. She didn't want to see me this weekend because her daughter is home. She tried to blame my illness. But if she cared about me she would have wanted to see me. I've been through an awful week of vomit and pain and had to do it all alone.

She wouldn't think to borrow her mom's car to see me but she borrowed it to fetch daughter on friday. This relationship makes me feel like a 2nd class citizen, and rather than caring about that she just says yes you are (in so many words). I'm not strong enough to be treated as so unimportant. My depression comes from feelings of no-one caring....and she is incapable of offering me a relationship that makes me feel special.

I dunno......

I hope you are all duin ok. I see lots of walks have been taken today.
Sorry I haven't been participating much lately - part of my not wanting to do anything. But I always read the thread and I send you my wishes always.

xxxx

Hi

I do exactly what you do. I disappear. Don't want to be with anyone or talk. I don't like pretending all is fine. The only place I can get things off my chest is here. As Ethel said, you need to think about your relationship. I thought about mine after 4 years and came up with the conclusion that he loves me to bits but is so crap at dealing with the emotional side of things. From an early age I dealt with issues on my own and he knows that and doesn't want to upset me by being in my face all the time.

Hope you a feeling better now. You know you can write everything down on here and people will be there for you.

Karrie

andipandi wrote: »

Good evening to everyone,

hope you all enjoying the weekend thus far,
Karrie
yes indeed the charity shop is good for me ,it can be hilarious at times what with all the unusual types many of whom i end up getting indepth with offering all sorts of opinions and mostly send them away laughing with me (not at me i hope!). so it went well,people tell me i'm a dork for working for nothing and giving my time but generally i love it.

Tiff
well i don't have a full time job as such,my field of work as it is(or was) is broad spectrum building trade, refurb work mainly which is all about problem solving.

alcohol is a tricky subject because i love it and hate it,i did spend many years
off my head on the stuff ie 10 pints beer with chasers plus bottle of spirits a day..crazy s**t i know,inside i wanted to die,but i'm still here new and improved! don't touch top shelf or wine these days but i am still a heavy drinker by most standards....watch this space.

Depression can cause havoc but i accept my depression,its there and i deal with it by looking it in the eye and mostly it don't kick my bottom like it used to.

About my son well i think at the mo he has other stuff to deal with like my daughters do cos their nan died yesterday and i know their mum will be in bits
and despite our history(ex and i) i cannot dislike her(anymore).

not sure i am a natural survivor but i am a survivor and for the last year or so i have felt i am living in the here and now, not in the past.

right i`m off to watch telly shortly(which is rare for me)2 programmes i watch are Dr Who and Holby Blue( yes i confess my sins!)

you all take care now

Kind regards
Andy

I think accepting depression is one huge step to moving on. Took me years but I now accept that it is part of my life sometimes and although it is a living hell sometimes, it's me. Do you drink every day? Ahh I missed Dr Who saw last weeks so missed the 2nd part. Pants!!

Tulip

:hello: Karrie,


If you have got BBC3 on Sky go to number 115 or freeview and go to number 7 last nights Doctor Who is repeated again at 8pm then you wont have missed it after all

hope everyone else is well and happy,Gillette hope you are feeling better today

RBK hope you are having a nice weekend

SF hope you are well

:hello: Andi sorry I didnt say hi when you first came to the thread,welcome

Ethel hope things are fine with you and your daughter.

Tiff well what can I say about the lovely Tiffy other than I hope shes having a great weekend

Mclaren hope you are ok too

and to everyone a great big hug to those that need it



off to my parents today,got an upset stomach today so I am going to take it easy for a while,I think I overate again last night and made it bad.


lots of love and light,

Katie xxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

:hello: Ethel, Sounds like you had a bad day yesterday with lots of things going wrong At least the boyfriend came to the rescue awww that was nice of him.

Did you have your foot X-rayed when you first ingured it? Make sure you're resting it. Get the boyfriend to run around and get you all that you need

Sorry to hear about your son leaving. Was it all said in the heat of the moment? Do you think it is likely that he will return home in a couple of days after he's calmed down?

Is you daughter home for good or just for the weekend? How is she doing?

I hope today is a better day for you

rose07, :hello: There's no stopping you now hun. It's all go go go in your world

The tourism trophy sounds like a mad event. I hope you enjoyed yourself though. I'm sorry to hear about your friends death that must be very hard. I expect he would want you to go though wouldn't he?

Do you still keep in touch with the people you met in hospital? I'm glad you can relate to what I said hun.

I would ask your counsellor when you will next see your own psychiatrist. It's really bad that they just give you the locum each time.

oooh you have a boyfriend good fo you hun. Make sure he treats you right. I'm really pleased for you.

Look after yourself hun xxx

Gillette, Big for you. You're a clever guy, you can fill in a DWP form and a CV is a chance to sell yourself You've done lots of things in the past and just recently passed more exams.

This week you really needed your girlfriend to be around to look after you. I bet if your girlfriend had been sick you'd have been there looking after her and making sure she was OK. It doesn't sound like she's treating you like a boyfriend at all. You deserve better than this.

gillette147 wrote:

and she is incapable of offering me a relationship that makes me feel special.

I think you've probably just answered your own question as to whether to end things or not.

My ex treated me like crap. Although it took me a while to find the courage to finally end things. When I tried to kill myself he didn't come to visit me in hospital, he didn't come to visit me on the psychiatric ward. Back then I just thought oh perhaps he's busy but then a few weeks later it really got to me. If he really cared/loved me he would have been there. He made no time for me at all. He'd rather go out with his friends every weekend than make any plans to see me. If he did come to see me, he would come at like 10pm and be gone by 8/9 in the morning as he had stuff to do with his friends. I was always 2nd best. Looking back on it now, I'm glad the relationship is over.

queensway_boy

Big Hugs to you all and thankyou

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