Depression II

Tiff_2

Good morning my little pork scratchings!:hello:
I hope everyone is safe and sound and accounted for.;)
I've been a busy Tiffster but I've actually caught up on the thread for the most part.:rolleyes: But hellos and hugs are needed so here we go...
to sazzy, stenny, ethel, flissy, elona, gem, rose, qb, cb2, juno, tulip, sf, ltd, lrs, ltf, pumpkin, blinky, beer, miro, mac, gilly, rbk, goldy, bunny, and all the other precious members of the family...

Thanks for all the good wishes for my brother's wedding. I was literally running around like a mad thing Saturday a.m. I got taxis ordered - one for DS who was an usher, and one for me to go 30 mins later. We were about 5 mins late trying to sort out his cravat and his taxi just left even though we'd said wait a bit. So then it was 20 mins before another came for him.:eek:

So 45 mins before the wedding, Tiff as still in her dressing gown, no make up, no hair done!

I'd been up very early but I'd gotten the idea on Friday that I needed some colour to go with the outfit and I bought 2 metres of royal blue silk as my brother and groomsmen were dressed in midnight blue suits. Now Tiff's paws are not naturally talented at this, but Saturday morning there I was trying to make a wrap!:rolleyes:

Anyway, dressed, makeup, hair done in 25 mins. Taxi had been waiting for 10 of them. I'd torn the house apart downstairs looking for all the bits I needed, which had been in plain view the night before. My kitchen (pans on the floor!), sitting room and dining room looked like a firing test range. And of course, the more I panicked, the harder it became to find things.:eek:

I made a pitstop in the loo then I came out, locked the door and got in the taxi - 15 minutes before wedding was due to start.:rolleyes: Got there 10 mins before the bride.

I felt self-conscious all dressed up and I asked the taxi driver if I looked all right. He said I did but that he'd noticed that my dress was tucked in at the back on my left hand side!
I wanted a rock to crawl under and although my bag was heavy with the Tiff Survival Kit, I didn't have a rock in it for that situation - I have now though!:rotfl: Thank God he had the decency to tell me and not let me go up the aisle like that!:o

The service was beautiful, the bride stunning and the service had me in tears. I'm not overly sentimental :whistle:, but you could see their sincerity when taking their vows, and I couldn't help but think about my Dad and how proud he'd have been of my brother. The love shone from them. You just knew it was for life for them - perfect!:T It was so funny because when the vicar said 'For better or worse...', we all heard torrential rain start to pour down outside!:rotfl: DS read out a poem I'd written them at the service and he said he was very proud of me, that I looked like a lady and looked so pretty bless him.

They said such sincere vows, quite traditional, and I couldn't help but feel more than a bit sad that all I'd ever wanted was someone to feel that way about me, to love me that much......
I felt so sad that my marriage had ended the way it did in domestic violence and I guess like everyone else, I'd like a happy ever after with someone I was deeply in love with and who loved me the same way.

The service was perfect, my DS looked stunning in his groomsman's suit and I felt so proud. We all went outside the old church and did the wedding photos and mingled, heels sticking in mud.:rolleyes: The sun came out for their photos and there was another downpour just as they finished and left.

We were all crammed into the foyer of a golf club waiting the arrival of the happy couple. The whole reception was pretty much perfect - the bride's mother (hissing Tiff! Don't know why, but my hackles were up!), and the bride had organized it with military precision. You could see how much the bride and groom were actually enjoying themselves. Truly fairytale.;)

I don't know how but through various ways and means, I managed to stay nearly to the end. It was all finishing about 8.30pm. anyway. People were nice enough to say how nice I looked - photos when I feel I can wrestle with the camera or when one of you needs a punishment!:rolleyes:

DS helped me through the hard parts, getting me to the reception 'calmly', just being really sweet. Very emotional day. But I did it and I was glad I did - I don't think my brother would have forgiven me if I hadn't gone.

So sometimes guys, somethings feel impossible to do, such a struggle and so daunting, but we can try to face it and be rewarded with a better experience than we though it would be. I'm still so tired. Got lots of big stuff going on in the Tiffy grey matter.:o

Thank you so much for your encouragement guys - I appreciated it.:A
Take care all of you. Good luck with your week guys!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

ġööd mörnïnġ

Karrie

Tiff

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I didn't realise what happened in your marriage. You're a very strong woman

EthelBloggs

Morning everyone :wave:

Much weirdness chez bloggs.. yesterday I was doing some paperwork, right here at my desk.. put my bestest favouritest pen down and it's gone :eek: I hadn't dropped it, its not on the floor, buried anywhere, behind anything it's just..... gone. Same thing has happened with a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. No one had been in the house when it happened, these things have just vanished.. I'm starting to wonder if someone "out there" is trying to attract my attention :eek:

Other than that, I'm flippin knackered, got up this morning as tired as when I went to bed and I've got a stonker of a headache, like I've been bashed on the back of the head.

B/f has seen me in the red dress and heels I got to go with it and now he's doing the pitiful whining that he doesn't want me to go, if I do go I shouldn't wear the dress and maybe I'd like him to buy me a burka (sp) or a hijab :rotfl: spose it's nice to know I've still got it eh

Tiffy, I'm so glad the wedding went well and you coped with it, never doubted you would tho.. and the dress tucked into the knickers is the sort of thing I'd do too

Good luck with the appeal on thursday Karrie, everything is crossed for you.
You too RBK with your appraisal on friday :eek: I used to hate those things.

Sazbomber.... you mad thing!!!! I'll sponsor you on payday

Big huggs for everyone, lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxx

elona

Tiff

Big hug! You have done so well and we are all proud of you.

Ethel

The dress is gorgeous and bf (is it short for b***** fool?) is scared you will be snapped up by someone better as you will be a knockout in it.

You are both as lovely in looks as you are in personality - (that is a big compliment by the way!)

Have spent the last three days - visiting elderly relatives on Sat. - visiting student daughter to bring her groceries, take her to lunch and cheer her up on Sunday - yesterday traipsed all round Leeds trying to coax DD into getting a decent haircut ( even though I was paying she whinged non stop!)

Finally have the house to myself for an hour and peace and quiet!!!!

I wish I still had the figure for the dress but after twins, another DD, three miscarriages, and last DD being breech and a caesarian - i am definately built for comfort nowadays.

gillette147

Awww Tiff
What a wonderful post. I wish I could hit Thanks twice.
xxx

gillette147

Well folkes,

I am off to Brum tonight. There's a Health and Safety Expo up there and I can visit family etc. (I baked a sponge cake yesterday and I'm taking it up there - me baked a cake!!). I am going to cut lawn and do some sorting out first.

I have decided that I want to come off the meds. My g/f doesn't like me on them (or rather uses it to justify her smoking/drinking). I don't feel any different on them anyway. And I have fought my depression without them for 20 years so I can again. Some of my depression is circumstantial and things are getting better (g/f,...passed exams etc). My depression was never a debilitating (SP) one.

I see the doctor next week and I'll find out what he thinks.
There's getting to be too many of you to mention by name!!
My thoughts are with you all. And good luck with appraisals/reviews/appeals etc.

xxxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! Hope all is well,up at 10.30am today :j I had breakfast then went to Boots to collect my prescription :j

Karrie Good Luck for Thursday

RBK Good Luck for Friday

hope everyone else is well and happy.Tiff glad your brothers wedding went well last Saturday


lots of love and *hugs* to all


Katie xxx

slowlyfading

Good afternoon everyone
I've had a busy morning on campus, and I've just had my lunch. Got an afternoon of revision planned as its my exam in the morning. Slightly in a panic, but never mind.
On the bad side, I had a really triggering dream last night and can't stop thinking about it.
sf x

blinky

Afternoon all, :hello:

Had an interview for a job with the council today. The interview seemed to go okay. Just need to wait and see what happens...