Sanctions

FBaby

*gem* wrote: »

I have no parents, a sister with severe mental health problems and a teenage brother who is in education and also works. They are local and I have no other family in the UK. They emigrated years ago. My ex's family do not live near and are elderly. His sisters both work, one of them holds down 2 jobs and the other has 1 child. They also cannot cope with my son because of his disability and believe he is just extremely naughty.

What keeps me where I am is that my children refuse to leave the schools they are in. It would cause great disruption and upset to move my son who has ASD into another school especially as we have just about got his issues sorted in school so he is able to complete the majority of his lessons without incident. Even if I moved closer to me ex's family, they would be unwilling to help out.

Maybe I am in the minority. I would love to go to work especially during school hours but those opportunities are scarce. I would certainly prefer to not have a child with a disability and be able to work. That is why I am currently in education as I am planning for the future when he hopefully will be able to look after himself.

Well that certainly is fair enough, but rightly or wrongly, yes, I do think you are in the minority.

FBaby

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

I can think of several instances whereby people have moved away to escape abusive parents, or may have been in the care system, therefore have become estranged from family.

It's not always as simple and dried cut that many on here would have people believe.

Of course it isn't always dried cut and I have never claimed that it is, but from my experience of single parents (I was one myself, so were drawn to others, especially in the school my kids went to), they did have family close by who did manage to have the kids, but wouldn't look for work as they were entitled to income support and that suited them fine (that was before the 5yo change).

john539

Fluffs123 wrote: »

This post really moved me. It's great that there are still some caring compassionate people out there who appreciate the shocking truth of the sort of lives the poorest people in the UK are living and are trying to help.

The arrogant / ignorant attitudes of many who have never fallen on hard times saddens me. Whatever happened to "there but for the grace of god go I"?

The sad thing is, it's only going to get worse.

FBaby

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

How do you knows it's a minority of cases? Have you done a study of all single parents in the country?

I'll rephrase for your sensitivity.... I believe it is a minority....

Jennifer_Jane

mysterywoman10 wrote: »

I know personally of at least 10 people who have recently been made redundant in their late 50's of whom 5 of whom have been sanctioned for so say not trying hard enough, all of whom have worked all their lives without claiming unemployment benefits for any period of time before. Sad state of affairs.

Everyone who lives in the real world who is claiming JSA knows the slightest and smallest dreamed up reason will get you sanctioned, whether you have paid into the system all your life or not!!

We've all seen the target letters for sanctioning or have you not?

Genuine question: why haven't these people's Company pensions kicked in? I assume that if they've been working all their lives, they have been in Company pensions? Would that be right?

I know that people in their late 50's would not be on State Pension for a few years, but if you have been working, then you've been able to plan your finances to cope with possible hardship.

I am living on a Company pension that I was in for only 9 years, and part State Pension (64% of the full amount). I manage fine on that. I would be in a wonderful state now had I been living in this Country for all my working life.

mysterywoman10

Dunroamin wrote: »

You have 10 close friends and relatives of mature years who have been made redundant recently and half of them have been sanctioned for not trying to find work and you believe every one of them?

OK....

Well yes actually it is OK, 6 of them I had to make personally redundant when my daughter passed away.

Then there are 2 who are close friends who worked in the voluntary sector and the other 2 are other friends. That makes 10 unless there is something wrong with my maths.

Delay in replying is because I've been on holiday for a week

Out of the 10 only 3 have found jobs in the last year and all of whom are very hard working and dedicated people....this is the real world sadly.

kafkathecat

mysterywoman10 wrote: »

Well yes actually it is OK, 6 of them I had to make personally redundant when my daughter passed away.

Then there are 2 who are close friends who worked in the voluntary sector and the other 2 are other friends. That makes 10 unless there is something wrong with my maths.

Delay in replying is because I've been on holiday for a week

Out of the 10 only 3 have found jobs in the last year and all of whom are very hard working and dedicated people....this is the real world sadly.

It is hard to believe it but most people still don't seem to know what is happening. There are no jobs and there are targets to remove all means of support from those unfortunate enough to find themselves unemployed. How is anyone supposed to survive on no money at all? Of course it conveniently removes them from the unemployment statistics...
There have been many reports over the last few years if people paid attention. This one is recent:http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/mar/25/jobcentre-newsletter-sanctions-targets

princessdon

sulkisu wrote: »

I was just about to agree with this statement, but then I thought about it and I suppose it depends on what 'help them out' means. I don't think of myself as a loner and I do have friends, family and neighbours. Just for the record I am not a lone parent and I work full-time, but if OH wasn't around I can honestly say that I don't have anyone close by that I could expect to care for my children every weekend while I went to work. They either work shifts or irregular hours, work weekends themselves, have families of their own or other commitments.

With a two year old and 6 month old twins, selfish mare that I am, I wouldn't do it for someone else. I would help out in a dire emergency of course, but I certainly wouldn't do it every single weekend .

I must be an oddball then. 4 children or 10 makes no difference really. I have loads of kids on school holidays (I am term time) and on my early day's after work. I know they will quid pro quo if needed and it's good to have my children with friends.

I will have 12 children on Tuesday as my early finish and school pick up. Not a bother or hassle what so ever. Children are quieter with friends than squabbling with siblings. Even when young I always had play dates and a houseful. It makes me happy. I had my friends triplets recently for a weekend, was tired (toddles with SEN) but happy to provide them a break as they needed it.

Maybe because you DO have an OH, those of us who are on our own a lot depend on each other!

sulkisu

princessdon wrote: »

I must be an oddball then. 4 children or 10 makes no difference really. I have loads of kids on school holidays (I am term time) and on my early day's after work. I know they will quid pro quo if needed and it's good to have my children with friends.

I will have 12 children on Tuesday as my early finish and school pick up. Not a bother or hassle what so ever. Children are quieter with friends than squabbling with siblings. Even when young I always had play dates and a houseful. It makes me happy. I had my friends triplets recently for a weekend, was tired (toddles with SEN) but happy to provide them a break as they needed it.

Maybe because you DO have an OH, those of us who are on our own a lot depend on each other!

I wouldnt say you were an oddball but I do think that we are talking about different things.

As I said I would do it occasionally (for example to help out in an emegency). Playdates and having children around for a few hours or even a few days sometimes, I could also manage. But I was talking about a situation where every weekend or every evening is spent caring for somebodyelse's children so that they can work. A regular long term commitment which you have to fulfill regardless of how sick, tired, busy you are because that person depends on you - that's a different scenario altogether. You also mentioned term time working and finishing early on a Tuesday. If I worked the same, then I would probably be more inclined to give up the little bit of free time that I do have. I am guessing (although I could be wrong ) that if you worked full-time, 48 weeks of the year and had to have those 12 children every weekday evening, or those triplets every single weekend, which you would if their parents jobs depended on it, it might wear thin after a while.

I'm not having a dig, but I do think we are talking about different things.

Morlock

FBaby wrote: »

I'll rephrase for your sensitivity.... I believe it is a minority....

I don't think it is 'sensitive' to ask for further details when making supposed statements of fact that suit your particular ideology.

Stating that the moon is made of cheese is a lot different to stating a belief that the moon is made of cheese. I suspect you don't even have a clue as to what percentage of single parents are in-work, never mind how many can't work because adequate childcare provision is unavailable.