Sanctions

seven-day-weekend

I understand somewhat about the unsocial hours, but that would not apply to most people would it? And are there not any fathers around?

iammumtoone

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

And are there not any fathers around?

Some fathers yes. I am sure there are fathers that would love to have their child(ren) for extra hours, but unfortunately this is not the case for everyone in my case although my child does see his father he will not have him at any other times other than our agreed hours (and something not even them). I was ill once (as in not begin able to move from the toilet for more than a few minutes) I asked my ex to have his son to help. This was not possible as the football happened to on the TV at the time, I did check if he had arranged to meet mates down the pub to watch it but no he was watching it at home but didn't want a five year old interrupting his viewing! I could also state several other instances he has refused to have his son. In this instance I then had to turn to friends to help as I really could not manage to look after him but as it has been said before those friends were quite happy to help in this situation but couldn't have him regularly .

FBaby

*gem* wrote: »

This is pretty much my situation! No family, childrens dad can't cope with them all at the same time, there is no childcare available because it is full and I can't leave my 12 year old at home on his own.

I do have friends that can help me out in an emergency but I couldn't rely on them constantly and most of them have moved out of the area I live in. And no I wouldn't be willing to move to another area for a job it would be too much upheaval for my family to cope with.

Yes, it is tragic but that is my life! I would love for it to be different but circumstances won't allow.

Just a question. Are you saying that you have no family at all, nor your ex (after all his family could look after the kids too for him), or that you and he do have family, but not where you are. If that is the case, and you are not working, what is keeping you where you are?

FBaby

The problem is that we are here talking about a minority of cases, where there is absolutely no childcare available for the required days/hours, let it be family, ex (and his family), childminders, clubs, very close friends and that can't possibly equate for the one reason for such a high number of single mums not working.

*gem*

FBaby wrote: »

Just a question. Are you saying that you have no family at all, nor your ex (after all his family could look after the kids too for him), or that you and he do have family, but not where you are. If that is the case, and you are not working, what is keeping you where you are?

I have no parents, a sister with severe mental health problems and a teenage brother who is in education and also works. They are local and I have no other family in the UK. They emigrated years ago. My ex's family do not live near and are elderly. His sisters both work, one of them holds down 2 jobs and the other has 1 child. They also cannot cope with my son because of his disability and believe he is just extremely naughty.

What keeps me where I am is that my children refuse to leave the schools they are in. It would cause great disruption and upset to move my son who has ASD into another school especially as we have just about got his issues sorted in school so he is able to complete the majority of his lessons without incident. Even if I moved closer to me ex's family, they would be unwilling to help out.

Maybe I am in the minority. I would love to go to work especially during school hours but those opportunities are scarce. I would certainly prefer to not have a child with a disability and be able to work. That is why I am currently in education as I am planning for the future when he hopefully will be able to look after himself.

*gem*

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I understand somewhat about the unsocial hours, but that would not apply to most people would it? And are there not any fathers around?

Their father is not always around. He is far too busy working all the hours he can so he can afford the holidays and flash cars that he wants instead of being bothered about his children. He won't even have them all at the same time as he cannnot cope.

~Chameleon~

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I understand somewhat about the unsocial hours, but that would not apply to most people would it? And are there not any fathers around?

And what if they're also working? My husband worked irregular shifts therefore was rarely around to take care of the children.

~Chameleon~

FBaby wrote: »

Just a question. Are you saying that you have no family at all, nor your ex (after all his family could look after the kids too for him), or that you and he do have family, but not where you are. If that is the case, and you are not working, what is keeping you where you are?

I can think of several instances whereby people have moved away to escape abusive parents, or may have been in the care system, therefore have become estranged from family.

It's not always as simple and dried cut that many on here would have people believe.

~Chameleon~

FBaby wrote: »

The problem is that we are here talking about a minority of cases, where there is absolutely no childcare available for the required days/hours, let it be family, ex (and his family), childminders, clubs, very close friends and that can't possibly equate for the one reason for such a high number of single mums not working.

How do you knows it's a minority of cases? Have you done a study of all single parents in the country?

Fluffs123

paulineb wrote: »

I used to work with young people in supported accommodation and know of one young man who was sanctioned for 52 weeks because an appointment letter had gone to his dads house after he had moved out, he changed job centres but the sanction applied. He didnt get hardship payments, this was appealed, still nothing. His rent got paid because his support worker wrote to HB and explained that he was living on nil income, it wouldnt have been automatic.

I think when talking about people who are signing on we could do well to remember that some people lead extremely chaotic lives and that could be due to mental health issues, addictions, homelessness and yes, Ive also worked with young people where I was tearing my hair out at the fact all they had to do was get up out of their bed and sign on and they wouldnt.

But some of these sanctions now last up to 3 years, 3 years without benefit? Its beyond harsh and whereas I always managed to sign on and get my jobsearch diary handed in when I was on JSA, there were times when I was late. The couple of harsh winters we had where all transport ground to an almost halt. Its a 6 mile round trip to my local office. Its a 15 mile round trip for some people further afield. Fortunately Im capable of speaking up and telephoning when I need to, if I were going to be late for example.
But then I have a landline phone. If someone doesnt have a landline phone (which a lot of young homeless people dont), it costs a fortune to phone the DWP.

Some people who get sanctions will deserve a sanction for a time period, but its not automatic that harship gets paid and as I said, some people live extremely chaotic lives, some with mental health issues, addictions, moving from one place to another over a short period of time. Sometimes when peoples lives are in chaos the simplest thing can end up being a massive issue. And when people are moving around a lot its not surprising that some people miss appointments.

And having worked with people who have suffered from psychosis and schizophrenia, many of these people dont have an advocate who can help them with benefit issues, or if they do, they arent guaranteed that that person is going to be around when they need help with a housing or benefits issue.

This post really moved me. It's great that there are still some caring compassionate people out there who appreciate the shocking truth of the sort of lives the poorest people in the UK are living and are trying to help.

The arrogant / ignorant attitudes of many who have never fallen on hard times saddens me. Whatever happened to "there but for the grace of god go I"?