Parents giving my partner and I £50 000 deposit... how do I safeguard this money?

Annisele

C_Mababejive wrote: »

Shouldnt the parents be safeguarding themselves by retaining ownership to a percentage of the proposed property? That way you and OH dont even need to worry about it.

If the parents care about retaining ownership of the property, then yes, they should (although that might make mortgages difficult).

I suspect the parents don't actually care about the house - they care about helping their daughter out. They're just not so keen on helping out their daughter's partner.

olympicsmummy

yes annisele exactly that!

Quite simply yes the deed of trust could go in my parents names however my understanding is that this isn't good for two reasons:

1. Mortgage lenders arent keen on this
2. My parents are worried about inheritance tax on this money.

They want me to have the money but in their opinion they saved very very hard all their life for this money and they would like it protected as in this day and age you just dont know what may happen. TBH I may feel the same about my kids in the future and their partners so it's more my parents concern not mine! although I am also sensible and see their pov.

Apart from any other reason my partners parents have a lot of money but they aren't contributing to the deposit as they simply dont want to .. they want to keep their money in the bank so my parents feel this is a little unfair as my parents have far less money than them yet they are helping us in such a huge way. I really dont see that my parents are being unreasonable?!

shop-to-drop

Unless your parents have a lot of money/assets, and it doesn't sound like they do, they don't need to worry about inheritance tax.

seriousDFW

olympicsmummy wrote: »

yes annisele exactly that!

Quite simply yes the deed of trust could go in my parents names however my understanding is that this isn't good for two reasons:

1. Mortgage lenders arent keen on this
2. My parents are worried about inheritance tax on this money.

They want me to have the money but in their opinion they saved very very hard all their life for this money and they would like it protected as in this day and age you just dont know what may happen. TBH I may feel the same about my kids in the future and their partners so it's more my parents concern not mine! although I am also sensible and see their pov.

Apart from any other reason my partners parents have a lot of money but they aren't contributing to the deposit as they simply dont want to .. they want to keep their money in the bank so my parents feel this is a little unfair as my parents have far less money than them yet they are helping us in such a huge way. I really dont see that my parents are being unreasonable?!

You have to do what you and your parents feel comfortable with. I can understand the argument, I just wouldn't personally want to be involved with that sort of arrangement. Apart from anything, your OH is the father of their grandchildren, so surely it's not the end of the world if this money was split equally on separation? And also there's no saying that IF separation did occur you couldn't come to a mutual agreement about splitting finances? How do you take account of what OH has brought? For example how do you split who has earnt what? Are you going to 'cost' your childcare provision out and compare that to the financial contribution made by your OH through salary? It's messy to be able to determine what and how much is contributed to a real-life partnership.

My parents have gifted me money/cars in the past but if they had offered these with conditions, I would politely refuse, even if this was cutting my nose off to spite my face. Perhaps I'm too trusting and naive. How does your OH feel, out of interest?

And I could completely understand your parents' reservations if you and your OH had not been committed for very long, but it seems perverse to me when you are obviously very much committed to each other.

superflygal

OP your thread is entitled "Parents giving my partner and I £50 000 deposit... "

So are they giving it to just you now? Not to both of you as the title says?

SFG x

sharpe106

I agree with the other posts that deed of trust is probably best for what you want, but I also think it is pretty sad that you are not just living with someone but have a child with them and are still not willing to share everything with them.

StevenMarks

I think a number of people in this thread need to wake up, smell the coffee and enter the real world.

The majority of relationships end in failure. It is only sensible to take steps to protect the money being given by the parents.

sharpe106

Nobody is saying it is not going to end up in failure but to my mind if you are not willing to share everything to begin with it is not a very good start. It is not like they have just started going

seriousDFW

StevenMarks wrote: »

I think a number of people in this thread need to wake up, smell the coffee and enter the real world.

The majority of relationships end in failure. It is only sensible to take steps to protect the money being given by the parents.

It's perfectly fine that you feel that way. But no way could I be in a serious, committed relationship with children involved that had this sort of arrangement. The couple are under no obligation to take the money.

Of course, if all parties are happy with the arrangement, no problem! That's why I have asked how the OH feels.

sharpe106

seriousDFW wrote: »

It's perfectly fine that you feel that way. But no way could I be in a serious, committed relationship with children involved that had this sort of arrangement. The couple are under no obligation to take the money.

Of course, if all parties are happy with the arrangement, no problem! That's why I have asked how the OH feels.

Agree completely with the above if I was the partner I would not be impressed and if it was other way round doubt my partner would be either.