Parents giving my partner and I £50 000 deposit... how do I safeguard this money?

olympicsmummy

You should bare in mind that I have an 8 month old baby hanging off my arm as I write these posts... I do not have time to worry about whether I write "my" child or "our" child. My partner and I do not think about such pettyness.

As for the title being confusing the basic point is my parents have £50K they want it to be used towards a deposit for a house that my partner and I want to buy. It is to enable us both to buy a house together. Yes it is for us both. They don't care whether it is called a gift or a loan or whether the contract says the money is still theirs or it is mine. They see it as money for us to have a house to stop us wasting money on rent All my parents want is for a little protection because they see that I'm taking time out of my career to bring up "OUR" children! And as much as my parents love my OH they look at stats ... almost 50% relationships end... that is the fact that my parents see! (If you had a child you'd probably feel the same. I want to help my son when the time comes and to be honest I too would want to protect that money). To me it would be stupid of my parents to just give the money with no protection surely

Tancred

olympicsmummy wrote: »

My partner and I have a child but are unmarried. We are about to put an offer on a house. We haven't saved a deposit but my mum and dad are giving me £50 000 deposit (they do not want me to repay it back as it's unrealistic!)

How do I safeguard this without making my partner feel rubbish?!!

1. Someone said put it as a second charge to the property so if we split and house is sold then the mortgage company get their money back first then my parents get their money back.

2. Draw up a contract that says that £50 000 goes back to my parents if house is sold? (but then it will be subject to inheritance tax?!)

3. Draw up a contract to say that money is mine if house is sold? (to avoid inheritance tax)

I need to safeguard the money in case we split as I'm only working part time so he will be paying more of the mortgage while I look after our baby. If we split then I would need the money to put a deposit on a flat for me and baby.

All sounds very messy to me. If you have so little confidence in your relationship that you are worried about losing the money then it doesn't bode well. If I was your partner and you didn't trust me to the point of locking me out of my rights then I'd walk away immediately.

Dan-Dan

doesnt say much about the man you let father your kids ,the way you come across is that they will be left destitute should you part

Tancred

seriousDFW wrote: »

This post makes me really sad. You have stated several times here and on the other thread that parents don't want it back. How can you be committed enough to someone to have children and buy a house together but then not want to share everything equally?

I would be very hurt if my OH suggested this. To me a partnership means 'all in' and then if it goes wrong (which surely it hopefully won't?) then it's fair to split 50/50? Surely that's part of the risk of partnership/loving someone?

I agree totally. This doesn't sound like a committed relationship to me.

olympicsmummy

Tancred its not my trust or faith its my parents.
Dan-Dan can you not understand the basic maths. My parents dont have much money but they've saved hard and would like to use their hard earned £50K to help with a deposit. If we part then yes I would have huge problems without that £50K! How could I afford childcare and save a deposit??? My parents do not want me to end up on benefits!!

The basic point is its my parents money and they want to look after it.. wheres the problem with that?

olympicsmummy

I would hope that 100% of marriages were committed going in. However still you find that 50% end in divorce.... basic facts

[Deleted User]

Great case of "what's yours is mine, what's mine is mine"...

We had our solicitor 'safeguard' a £20k family assistance on our home purchase. The terms were that it would go back to my parents in the event of a sale/split - unless we were married, then it would be seen as 'ours' and split equally.

I do believe if you're married then this should be seen as a gift 'to the couple' and not just to you

olympicsmummy

ringo... you're criticising me but its exactly what you did in your relationship.

Its not what's mine is mine... its "what is my parents is MY PARENTS"

your point on marriage meaning its split evenly is precisely my point... if you are married then the husband working is seen as equal to the wife not working to bring up the kids... if you are unmarried then you do not have this protection!!!

[Deleted User]

olympicsmummy wrote: »

ringo... you're criticising me but its exactly what you did in your relationship.

Its not what's mine is mine... its "what is my parents is MY PARENTS"

your point on marriage meaning its split evenly is precisely my point... if you are married then the husband working is seen as equal to the wife not working to bring up the kids... if you are unmarried then you do not have this protection!!!

So get married then.. you don't seem to have a position in which this money gets shared with your 'partner' (so it's not the same as my position)

If you don't get married then you've not shown any formal/legal commitment to your relationship

Dan-Dan

olympicsmummy wrote: »

Dan-Dan can you not understand the basic maths.

When have i ever mentioned numbers ? , i just dont like the way you are coming across , dont take it personally though !