Parents giving my partner and I £50 000 deposit... how do I safeguard this money?

Tancred

i_want_one_of_those_mum wrote: »

I'm not one for commenting on the boards but I would advise that you safeguard this gift.

My work colleague parents died and she was left a lot of money. She deposited £80k into a house and thought it was protected or so she thought.

The marriage broke down and it has got very nasty. He is after every penny the house would bring after it is sold. My friend will loose half her parents money because the mortgage payment came out of his account and not hers. It was stipulated that the mortgage payments would come out of her account. But she overlooked this as she didn't work (stay at home mum) and didn't give it a second thought until several years later whilst they are going through a divorce.

The judge ruled in his favour that this money be split because of this oversight. Protect it as you never know what is going to happen in 1 or 5 years time.

And what's wrong with that? It wasn't her money in the first place, she inherited it. In life you can't always have your cake and eat it.

Tancred

olympicsmummy wrote: »

ringo... you're criticising me but its exactly what you did in your relationship.

Its not what's mine is mine... its "what is my parents is MY PARENTS"

your point on marriage meaning its split evenly is precisely my point... if you are married then the husband working is seen as equal to the wife not working to bring up the kids... if you are unmarried then you do not have this protection!!!

Ok, but what exactly is stopping you from getting married? Just do it cheaply in a registry office if necessary, but do it! Personally, if I was your father you wouldn't get a penny from me until you tied the knot.

Tancred

olympicsmummy wrote: »

I would hope that 100% of marriages were committed going in. However still you find that 50% end in divorce.... basic facts

Well, if that's your attitude then I suggest sticking to short term relationships. If I was your boyfriend I would be very worried - this whole scenario appears to be a form of emotional blackmail.

Mojisola

olympicsmummy wrote: »

My parents dont have much money but they've saved hard and would like to use their hard earned £50K to help with a deposit.

Have they considered their own position re deprivation of assets? If they have any need to claim means tested in the future, they may find that having given away £50k leaves them unable to do so.

Tancred

Mojisola wrote: »

Have they considered their own position re deprivation of assets? If they have any need to claim means tested in the future, they may find that having given away £50k leaves them unable to do so.

I believe there is a time limit on this - and if the gift is made well before there is any sign that they might need to go into a care home then it will be disregarded.

olympicsmummy

I'm not even answering questions regarding my relationship and getting married as that is utterly irrelevant to the post.

ess0two

olympicsmummy wrote: »

I'm not even answering questions regarding my relationship and getting married as that is utterly irrelevant to the post.

Fair enough,it gives food for thought either way.

getmore4less

olympicsmummy wrote: »

The basic point is its my parents money and they want to look after it.. wheres the problem with that?

Maybe you need to look at one of the other options where they can help without giving you(all) the money.

Like a Barclays springboard

http://www.barclays.co.uk/Mortgages/FamilySpringboardMortgage/P1242627640100

or YBS offset plus

http://www.ybs.co.uk/mortgages/types/offset/offset_plus/offsetplus_s.html


the thing is you need to be clear where the money is coming from/going to.

Are they giving you the money so you have a deal with them and another deal with the OH.

or are they giving both of you the money and you both have a deal with them.

How you structure the gift/loans is important.


I think what may be overlooked is can they really afford to give this money away.

phoebe1989seb

seriousDFW wrote: »

Please do also try to understand some posters' confusion: the title said the money was being gifted to you AND partner, yet your posts have said it's being gifted only to you. I am further baffled by the reference to your child as "my child" rather than "our child". The tone of your post can't be inferred but I would suggest that some of the words you have chosen have misrepresented you.

I'm baffled too - at the start of this thread the OP says 'My partner and I have a child but are unmarried', yet in a previous thread stated -'We have 2 children but will be having a 3rd which means we'll need a 4 bedroom house.'

This led me to the (most likely erroneous) conclusion that the OP had another child by a different partner.......

Totally confused now

My parents gave my then partner and I the deposit for a flat a few years back when he and I had been living together for a year. They couldn't stand him as they felt he wasn't worthy of their daughter because he'd been married before (at 18 - it only lasted a couple of years before she ran off with someone else) - not only that but he moved into my (rented) flat three days after we first met!

Despite their reluctance to warm to him and the fact that we had yet to *commit* by getting married, they were happy to gift the money to us both as a couple with no strings attached. TBH we never discussed as a family what would happen in the event that our relationship broke down - naively perhaps we believed it wouldn't

As soon as his divorce came through we married and a couple of years later our son was born. More than twenty years later we're still happily married and eventually my parents (now sadly both have dementia which was the only thing that changed their view of their son-in-law - they finally spoke kindly to him!) grew to *accept* him - although he was always known (only half jokingly) as the '****hole' :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

olympicsmummy wrote: »

I'm not even answering questions regarding my relationship and getting married as that is utterly irrelevant to the post.

So, lets play devils advocate with this one then; as you've complicated this by wanting to keep it financially seperate from your partner.

God forbid, but if your parents weren't here anymore, and you passed away; how would you see the money distributed? Would it bypass your partner and go directly into a trust for your kids?

You may have a deed in trust to cover the current financial situation; but do you also need a will drawing up to cover how you'd like to see the money used in other eventualities?