What should we do?

Fire_Fox

Ciderarmy1987 wrote: »

Ok, I get that but previously we have had a lot of pressure from the vendor to complete quickly, hence us having already haven given notice to our landlord.

You are not really giving us advice about what we should do right now, in OUR situation

Sorry to appear harsh but now that is biting you on the bum, sales can and do fall through right up to the day of exchange. You gave notice, your landlord is a friend from work, your landlord has found another tenant, you have to move out or stir up a hornet's nest for yourselves.

It's not your landlord or the new tenant's fault, you are going to have to gently push the vendor via the estate agent, or look for temporary accommodation and put your belongings into storage. Others here have done that, gone to stay in a cheap Travelodge for example.

ValHaller

Ciderarmy1987 wrote: »

Ok, I get that but previously we have had a lot of pressure from the vendor to complete quickly, hence us having already haven given notice to our landlord.

You are not really giving us advice about what we should do right now, in OUR situation

Given the pressure from the vendor and the fact that you danced to their tune, I would say that you should not put your home in jeopardy for the vendor. Tragedy or no, they need to let you know their plans by 12th April. While it may mean making contact 'too soon' for the sensitivities of some here, ultimately, it is better for the vendor to have more time to think about this rather than less. In your position, I would not get involved in second guessing how much margin they need for grief and making their decision for them as to when they might feel ready to deal with this

Ciderarmy1987

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Sorry to appear harsh but now that is biting you on the bum, sales can and do fall through right up to the day of exchange. You gave notice, your landlord is a friend from work, your landlord has found another tenant, you have to move out or stir up a hornet's nest for yourselves.

It's not your landlord or the new tenant's fault, you are going to have to gently push the vendor via the estate agent, or look for temporary accommodation and put your belongings into storage. Others here have done that, gone to stay in a cheap Travelodge for example.

I totally agree with what you are saying, but we are also getting told not to approach the vendor and try and get a date for exchange/competition.

I am more than happy to look for alternatives but we need to know that we are actually going to move into the house, otherwise it is going to be throwing more money down the drain. We will already be losing money if she pulls out, we don't want to increase that amount by moving things into storage and staying in a cheap hotel.

I agree that our vendor is in an awful awful situation that I wouldn't wish on anybody, but I also dont think it is completely unreasonable for us to expect her to think about us.

ValHaller

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Others here have done that, gone to stay in a cheap Travelodge for example.

While others have gone into cheap Travelodges, that is quite unnecessary here, provided vendor makes a decision by 12 April - or provided OP takes a decision for vendor ....

Better to let vendor make their own decision

Ciderarmy1987

ValHaller wrote: »

Given the pressure from the vendor and the fact that you danced to their tune, I would say that you should not put your home in jeopardy for the vendor. Tragedy or no, they need to let you know their plans by 12th April. While it may mean making contact 'too soon' for the sensitivities of some here, ultimately, it is better for the vendor to have more time to think about this rather than less. In your position, I would not get involved in second guessing how much margin they need for grief and making their decision for them as to when they might feel ready to deal with this

Thanks for all your advice. We are thinking of approaching the EA and talking it all through with them, at the end of the day if it all falls through then the will get no fee!

Think that we will go in on Monday and let them decide about when to contact her etc, but will make the 12th deadline clear to them. What should we say will happen if we don't know by the 12th? (this doesn't have to get passed onto the vendor but think it is best to be upfront with the EA) should we start look at other houses after this?

arbrighton

Ciderarmy1987 wrote: »

Ok, I get that but previously we have had a lot of pressure from the vendor to complete quickly, hence us having already haven given notice to our landlord.

You are not really giving us advice about what we should do right now, in OUR situation

Well I did offer some ideas, but you didn't seem to like the fact that I was saying wait a day or two out of courtesy and respect or that I pointed out that giving notice on the property you're in now before exchange was perhaps not sensible and having a contingency plan might be wise....
It's still advice even if it isn't saying what you want....

moneyistooshorttomention

A thought to bear in mind too regarding the vendor is that you have no idea how "expected" or otherwise the death of her father was. It may have been down to a longstanding, gradually worsening, illness. It may have been totally out of the blue - one day just fine, the next not.

You say that the vendor has been the one pushing for this to go through quickly. From that, I think there is a reasonable chance that the father was ill anyway and in a way where the vendor knew his death would come very quickly when it did come and she was trying to have this whole house selling business tied up before he did in fact die.

If that is the case, she will think "I didn't manage to 'beat the clock' and get one Major Thing out of the way before another Major Thing cropped up" and deal with the Major Thing she now has (ie fathers death) and will probably come back to you fairly quickly - AFTER she has dealt with funeral/upset mother (presumably) and want to "move on" with everything including the house sale.

I can understand "racing against the clock" to get house sale/purchase over with because you can see a parent is ill and am anticipating they will probably have another heart attack and the next time that will be that. But if someone has been determinedly "racing the clock" then there is a very good chance they will come back to you pretty soon and "pick up the reins" again.

Just show a bit of sympathy to her now and it may well pay dividends. She is probably not thinking of it as "These buyers I mustn't let down". She is more likely thinking "Darn money issue I must continue to deal with - I'll deal with first things first and then I will get back to money issues".

Be sympathetic and reasonable and there is every chance she will be back on track soon.

If she was "racing the clock" and knew it - then chances are that she will have put things enough onto Autopilot and listed what needs doing next and when that she can manage to get back on track without too much delay.

ValHaller

Ciderarmy1987 wrote: »

Thanks for all your advice. We are thinking of approaching the EA and talking it all through with them, at the end of the day if it all falls through then the will get no fee!

Think that we will go in on Monday and let them decide about when to contact her etc, but will make the 12th deadline clear to them. What should we say will happen if we don't know by the 12th? (this doesn't have to get passed onto the vendor but think it is best to be upfront with the EA) should we start look at other houses after this?

Assume that whatever you say may be passed to the vendor but don't assume that it will be passed unless you make it clear that it should be passed. Remember that the Agent works for the vendor and deliver a clear and simple message.

Your first priority is to secure continuity of accommodation, so you need to gauge what your LL will put up with. So you need to know what you will be doing if you do not exchange by 12th. Your LL may be a bit P'd off that he is having to knock back tenants who may be quite good. So I think that you may feel that you will need to stay another month minimum - but you need to check with your LL.

If that is your position, you need to tell the Agent that you expect exchange by 12th for completion on 26th and that if there is no exchange by 12th, there will be a minimum delay of 1 month. Vendor please to clarify intentions by 12th and Agent to contact Vendor ASAP.

Despite the difficult circumstances, if 12th is the date for you to decide, then Vendor must clarify by that date. Those who are outraged at the idea of contacting the vendor ASAP are effectively suggesting that you take the choice of how to prioritise between grieving and doing what is necessary for the sale out of the hands of the vendor. Vendor does seem to have realised that the issue needs dealing with - otherwise the message about her loss would not have reached you.

ValHaller

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

A thought to bear in mind too regarding the vendor is that you have no idea how "expected" or otherwise the death of her father was. It may have been down to a longstanding, gradually worsening, illness. It may have been totally out of the blue - one day just fine, the next not.

You say that the vendor has been the one pushing for this to go through quickly. From that, I think there is a reasonable chance that the father was ill anyway and in a way where the vendor knew his death would come very quickly when it did come and she was trying to have this whole house selling business tied up before he did in fact die.

If that is the case, she will think "I didn't manage to 'beat the clock' and get one Major Thing out of the way before another Major Thing cropped up" and deal with the Major Thing she now has (ie fathers death) and will probably come back to you fairly quickly - AFTER she has dealt with funeral/upset mother (presumably) and want to "move on" with everything including the house sale.

I can understand "racing against the clock" to get house sale/purchase over with because you can see a parent is ill and am anticipating they will probably have another heart attack and the next time that will be that. But if someone has been determinedly "racing the clock" then there is a very good chance they will come back to you pretty soon and "pick up the reins" again.

Just show a bit of sympathy to her now and it may well pay dividends. She is probably not thinking of it as "These buyers I mustn't let down". She is more likely thinking "Darn money issue I must continue to deal with - I'll deal with first things first and then I will get back to money issues".

Be sympathetic and reasonable and there is every chance she will be back on track soon.

If she was "racing the clock" and knew it - then chances are that she will have put things enough onto Autopilot and listed what needs doing next and when that she can manage to get back on track without too much delay.

I think that this is mostly a good analysis of the vendor's position.

But sympathy in my book does not mean OP losing his own home - and if OP went down that route, any decent vendor would feel very guilty if they found out.

OP has been criticised for giving notice on his rental without contracts being exchanged. He has done that at the behest of the vendor. OP should not be taking up the slack by losing his home if the vendor is unable to deliver the quick sale she wanted

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Just show a bit of sympathy to her now and it may well pay dividends. She is probably not thinking of it as "These buyers I mustn't let down". She is more likely thinking "Darn money issue I must continue to deal with - I'll deal with first things first and then I will get back to money issues".

The above may be correct, but it paints the vendor as selfish. Whatever she wants to do, she needs to involve herself in negotiating a way forward with OP. It is not unreasonable to expect her to deliver a clear enough statement of intent that OP knows what he needs to do to keep a roof over his head.

Ciderarmy1987

Ok, Thank you for all of your opinions and advice. I am still unsure about what you (moneyistooshorttomention and arbrighton) think we should do, just sit it out and wait for the vendor to come back to us when she is ready and in the mean-time extend out stay in our current house until the end of May.

My only concern with this is that she may come back to us and say I still want to complete on the 26th and we are left with a situation where have an over lap of over 5 weeks, which is tough for us to afford