Time to be completely honest

Sea78

Just to make the point yet again - I know he'll have another relationship and I may well see them at christmas etc - I won't be walking out then lol - and it's not the girls fault, but I think it's really out of order to be doing it now and telling me not to say anything.

taxi73

OMG..he has got your back up and I can totally understand where you are coming from..hes a coward ..why doesn't he tell his ex..you shouldn't have to keep secrets...and how will she feel if she knows that you knew and didn't tell her?
Hes put you in a awful position!!!!
And what I want to say about him saying that Wills is gay ..isn't printable.!!!!
What an idiot..he wants to be putting some money forward for his kids before buying jeans

Sea78

Completely.

I'm just really really upset now that his family don't care enough about me to understand that you shouldn't put someone in this position.

Sea78

All sorted. Told OH about the blackmailing texts. Now we've decided that I won't say anything to her (which means I can't actually talk to her for now) and I am having nothing more to do with the brother in law.

In_Search_Of_Me

O dear - not the afternoon that was planned. What backmailing texts - did I miss that? Try & put it behind you - he sounds like a prat & xgf def better off without him by the sound of it! Does put you in an awkward position though...how about a nce bath with lots of bubble and a nice chilled eve doing something you enjoy (not drinking wine lol!!)? Big hugs...

taxi73

You never mentioned blackmailing texts!!!!!...are you able to tell us?...also is your husband on your side?

Snaggles

Sea78 wrote: »

his other brother was carrying on that Will was gay because of his handbag

Well that tells me pretty much everything I need to know about him - what an idiot.

Sorry your BIL has put you in such a difficult position. You must be so angry. I'm not sure what the texts were that you got, but blackmail really is the lowest of the low.

You're quite right to want no more to do with them.

Sea78

He's blackmailing me about things he knows that x gf told him -all !!!!!!!! but it makes me wonder what she might have said - there is a possibility she could have lied but that's in the past now - we are good friends now. I think anyway!

Showed OH all the texts and have been upfront and honest. B-i-l says that others know and still deny it if x gf asks, so what's the big deal. I responded with the fact that I didn't care until it was shoved in my face and then I'm expected to blatently lie about it.

He says he knows that I can keep secrets?!!!!! !!!!!!??

OH is being a star and sees B-i-l for what he is, a nasty low life, but I know it will have set seeds in his mind, and no doubt this will come back and haunt me. If b-i-l hates me this much, he obviously is capable of just about anything.

I feel sick about it all. Had to tell x gf that I just had big row with b-i-l about him being a !!!!!! and that's why he's not welcome here and why I'm not going to the massive family meal tomorrow (new gf will be there). I don't think I could bare to be there even if she wasn't tbh now I've been put in this position and especially now he's done this. It's going to create problems further down the line, but I'm sticking to my guns. It may well mean that OH has to take the kids to his mums on his own on christmas day if b-i-l is there, but I just want to kick his head in and don't want to ever have to be 'nicey nicey' towards him again, although I know his mum is ill etc. Just makes me feel like a complete !!!!!, but I fear that he's not stopped yet, and will no doubt spread rumours around the whole family about me. The joy.

His sis is already funny with me on the texts - asking her when egg hunt starts and when that show starts - just received a curt one liner. I've done nothing wrong and really feel like crying most of the time. It's all so horrible. He can't love his brother if he's prepared to hurt him like this and what does it matter if I did tell his x? Surely if he's left her and apparently wants nothing to do with and slags her off all the time, then what does he care? I've not gone running back with things he's said about the situation to his ex so it's not like I've been reporting everything back so I just don't get it.

ZTD

An approach to take is to go in hard, and really disparage his character. Then when he says anything, you can just say it's lies trying to smear your character, and that he's already threatened to make stuff up to quieten you.

Then show people a selection of his texts - the ones that will show him in the worst light.

Silly boy - you don't put things like that in writing.

Alas, you can't give in to it. He will never leave you alone if he thinks he has a hold.

taxi73

What a prat he is!!!...it's good that your dh sees him for what he is now.Its still akward but I think ZTD as a valid point ..hugs from here.xx