Time to be completely honest

chocaholic110

I used to find drinking made me confident in the wrong way - I would wake up mortified at what I'd said to people!

taxi73

OMG Sea...hope you feel better soon ..it sounds like your drink may have been spiked!!!...thats an awful situation to be in and am glad that you have decided not to drink...I think that will do you good..
Maybe you needed a release after the last few weeks as they have been really stressful for you..hope you get sorted with WM soon

Karmacat

Confidence......... hmmmm...... I know that when I'm not confident, I tend to sip at whatever I've got in my hand, or I used to. So that means whatever's in my hand has to be non-alcoholic - before I got so bad as I mentioned on my previous post, I'd drink one of wine, one of water.... it slowed it down, but didn't stop me, so its just a stopgap, not a fix. But sometimes stopgaps are all we have.

More directly, about the confidence... well, I'm not sure what to write, but relaxation tapes, exercises from self help books, keeping a confidence journal, they all help, all start you in the right direction. Remember how you're feeling when you want a drink, and write about that, see what comes out? Good luck with it, anyway.

hypno06

I hope you have managed to get some sleep this afternoon, and that you are feeling a little less "bruised".

I rarely drink, so can't join you on the challenge as such, but you know you have my support in whatever way I can give it xxx

Sea78

Hi all - didn't sleep today - I did lie down watching the kids play with the playmobil stuff which was nice - William is growing up so fast now!

The bruises are developing stunningly so I am wearing v long sleeved top to work tomorrow. Classy.

OH wondered if my drink had been spiked, but to be honest, I think with that much alcohol (we worked out that I had a bottle and a glass here and one drink at the place) it would be impossible to know. I don't know how I got to the hospital, or how long I was there for and barely anything about getting home. And my last drink must have been about 1.15am and I came in the door about 5am according to OH.

Anyhooo, not much point stewing over it.

Day one - no booze (obviously lol) and no fags. Feeling happy that I've commited to this for a while - have followed link by ISOM and it suggested just setting time limits rather than saying I'll never drink again so am giving up alcohol completely for 30 days. Will look was nice soft drinks there are on offer in the supermarket and get some nice cordial. On the plus side I've barely eaten today - not sure why as don't feel particularly hungover, just tired.

The house guest bought us a new printer as he said it was cheaper than buying the cartridges!!!!!!!! So I now have a perfectly good printer, with no ink, that I am trying to give away but no one wants it.

Can't really say I'm looking forward to my year 11 lessons tomorrow. Ho hum.

Sea xxxx

In_Search_Of_Me

Can you not sell the new printer on ebay? Nice of him but bet the ink would have been better lol!!
Can understand why you are scared about what happened...surprised the hospital discharged you TBH - did hey not ring OH to say you were there? As you say, lesson learned and like all learned the hard way it will be one you dont forget! Onwards & upwards my friend! Joyfully sitting here sucking a lozenge! No ciggies in the house and not getting dressed to get any!!
Hope tomorrow goes ok - have a hot bath & nice early night tonight! Big hugs!

Sea78

lol ISOM - good job I've already completed your LO - imagine the fun I would have had with this little lesson!!!
Children are being little devils tonight- up and down so think I'll have to have shower in morning rather than bath tonight, which should be interesting. I will have to fashion some kind of waterproof protective cover for my chin as not allowed to get it wet or wash it for 5 days.

Lemon_Tree

((((hugs)))) Sea, sorry to hear what you've been through. good luck with the no alcohol or fags. I can't say i've experienced what you're going through, i'm not allowed alcohol cos i'm allergic but i do understand how it can boost your confidence, i've always wished i could drink just for that purpose.
If you need to bend an ear you know where i am, i'm good at listening without judgement.

This is the 3rd email i've tried to write and they're getting shorter)

sallyx

Oh Sea sending you lots of hugs....I had an incident very much like you although it was DH work christmas party...blotto by 8pm and had to be carried home. Hope you feel a bit better tomorrow and the year 11's aren't too horrendous!

Karmacat

Sea, if you're not eating - well, no matter whether you're eating or not - I hope you're drinking lots of water or juice or something - you're going to be dehydrated and your body needs help to get rid of the toxins from the alcohol. What you've described is very familiar to me, so to be honest I doubt you had anything spiked - thats just what happens when you drink like that.

It is scary, looking back, to pass out on your feet - I've come to in various situations, some safe, some not. Bravado carried me through when I was very young, but its incredibly dangerous, I was so lucky to come through alive, let alone relatively whole. You've got your OH and your kids, and this community on here, and the links that ISOM has given you - if you use all that, you'll be fine, I'm sure.

I hope the kids aren't playing up too badly! And that you get some sleep. Take care xx