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Time to be completely honest

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Comments

  • Lucy1982_2
    Lucy1982_2 Posts: 4,611 Forumite
    Hi Sea

    I hope that everything is ok today. You are an amazing person and can get through anything. Remember we are here for you if you need us. PM me for a chat.

    Take care sweetheart xx
    Current debt - £16,300 :(
    Debt at worst 17/03/2011 - £18,067.62:eek::eek:
    :ANot going anywhere else, ever again :A
  • Hope you're doing ok this morning!
  • thinking of you too sea x
  • Sea78
    Sea78 Posts: 6,185 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Well, we had the talk last night. I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore. He begged for one more chance. So like a weak pathetic person I agreed. However, I have issued an ultimatum - might seem really harsh I know, but I can't take it any more - basically, he has to chose between the drink and me (and therefore our life as a family etc). If he repeats the behaviour of the last few days (actually years, what am I on about?) then I will leave him. He has admitted to being an alcoholic and that he doesn't know what to do. He is making a drs app and also getting in touch with the counselling through work. I know that many recovering alcoholics may think I am being too harsh that if he has a relapse then I'll be gone, but with everything that has happened I don't think he'll change unless given an ultimatum.

    Feel very strong despite it all and have told him I deserve better, as do the children. That I have thought I had the problem for the last few years but finally realise it's not me - it is him.

    My friend is arriving this afternoon which I'm really looking forward to - need to get things ready first.

    I don't know how I feel at the moment - thank you so much for all your support. I honestly don't know if he will be able to do this - but he has to if we are to stay together because it's just not fair.

    I think now I know I woul dbe financially ok without him, it's meant that the only thing keepin us together now is his desire to make it work.I'll give it this one last shot, but being perfectly honest, I don't know if I still love him.

    Sea xxx
    CCCS DMP:Feb 07
    Total:£37,016.47 now £0 DEBT FREE FEB 14

    2022 Decluttering Campaign 49/1011
  • Lucy1982_2
    Lucy1982_2 Posts: 4,611 Forumite
    Well Done you.

    If you think that it the right decision then that is what you need to do. But I would work out if you love him or not, if not then it is not doing anyone any good staying.

    Huge hugs and make sure that you enjoy time with your friend.

    Do you have any local AA groups?

    Take care love x
    Current debt - £16,300 :(
    Debt at worst 17/03/2011 - £18,067.62:eek::eek:
    :ANot going anywhere else, ever again :A
  • Sea78
    Sea78 Posts: 6,185 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Yes - there is enough need round here!! but he needs to research and find and go himself I think - I can't do anything more now. He needs to take responsibility.
    CCCS DMP:Feb 07
    Total:£37,016.47 now £0 DEBT FREE FEB 14

    2022 Decluttering Campaign 49/1011
  • Lucy1982_2
    Lucy1982_2 Posts: 4,611 Forumite
    That's very true.

    Well you know where I am if you need anything. Remember to take care of yourself and the little sea's as you are all very important and should be number 1!
    Current debt - £16,300 :(
    Debt at worst 17/03/2011 - £18,067.62:eek::eek:
    :ANot going anywhere else, ever again :A
  • spud30
    spud30 Posts: 16,872 Forumite
    Big hugs Sea, I'm sorry to hear things aren't great.

    I hope you have a great time with your friend.

    Stay strong x
    Is it better to aim for the stars and hit a tree or aim for a tree and land in its branches :think:
    Loves being a Wonderbra friend :kisses3:
  • In_Search_Of_Me
    In_Search_Of_Me Posts: 10,634 Forumite
    hugs for you my lovely :) Good that your friend is now with you & can give the moral support that you need. Is there an alanon group near you? May help to speak to people who are going through the same...As you say he needs to take responsibility & sort it - it has to come from him and this time he knows the consequences if he doesent. Lets hope he does...if not at least you know you've done all you can & you cant do more than that can you eh? Here if you need a chat...hugs hugs for you - am thinking of you lots :)
    Nerd no 109 Long haulers supporters DFW #1! Even in the darkest moments, love and hope are always possible.

  • hypno06
    hypno06 Posts: 32,296 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I don't think you have been harsh at all. I think you have been very strong, and as you say, it is HIM that has to make that change now, not you.

    Enjoy the time with your friend xxxxxx
    Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)
    Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)
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