Worried about girlfriend

coolcait

OptimusNemesis wrote: »

Hi,

I'm really worried about my girlfriend. We had a bit of a silly argument online last night and she abruptly disappeared.

She has been offline and her mobile has been switched off for about 24 hours now.

- G

Can you define the bit in bold, please?

What exactly happened - who said what, etc?

Without knowing that, it's impossible to make an informed guess as to why your GF had gone silent on you.

Much less can we say whether or not this might be a 'call the police!' matter, or, a 'Mmm, maybe you could have put that better...' matter.

Tupperware_Queen

Flowers will be appreciated I'm sure. I hope you hear from her soon x

j-josie

Being Northern Irish, she might be busy involved with helping with the wake, funeral tea etc. When my dad died, I didn't get out of the kitchen for days as the house was a constant buzz of people coming to pay their respects, as it is practice to have the body at home til the funeral.
I also really reverted back to the core family unit - my mum and 3 brother as I guess I felt they were the only ones who were experiencing the same degree of grief. Even my husband of about 10 years felt like an outsider, bless him.
maybe she just needs time...

OptimusNemesis

coolcait wrote: »

Can you define the bit in bold, please?

What exactly happened - who said what, etc?

Without knowing that, it's impossible to make an informed guess as to why your GF had gone silent on you.

Much less can we say whether or not this might be a 'call the police!' matter, or, a 'Mmm, maybe you could have put that better...' matter.

I'd rather not give the exact details of it as some of it is personal to us and it wouldn't be fair on her to put it here.

I'm basing it on something that has happened with her in the past - she mentioned something as putting her in a similar state of mind to that event and that's why I'm worried as this is very unusual behaviour for her.

And - to address other posts here - I can't give the whole story about the circumstances surrounding those events other than to say that I talked that stuff over with her and she admitted that she'd acted in a very contrary way by one minute being 'into me' and then going cold because she felt that I wouldn't want to stay with her. She thought I was just going to get bored and go. When I explained to her how it was coming across and how it was frustrating from a point of view of not knowing what to do, she told me she didn't realise it came across like that but now that I'd told her she agreed. It stopped and we've had 6 great months together to the point where we started talking about it being something more and talking about moving.

She was looking up trains for commuting for me just a few days ago. A little bit ahead of things (I need to find a job, move, etc. first) but it was more because we were trying to get an idea of how it would work.

- G

coolcait

That's fair enough, OP.

But it does mean that it's impossible to give you advice which is based on your specific circumstances.

For all I know, your gf has taken some time out from you for very good reason.

Which would put your dark hints that she might be unstable and vulnerable in a very different light.

whitewing

She is quite likely to be busy, but also may be out and about sorting things out. In these kind of circumstances it wouldn't be so unusual for the phone to be out of battery and the charger to be forgotten or unavailable.

Just send her regular, non demanding texts as normal and let her know you're available, and what you're up to. Even if she hasn't got the strength to keep in touch, it will likely comfort her to know what's happening with you. I'm sure she will be in touch. She may be very upset but it is still early times and there are likely to be people keeping an eye out for her.

OptimusNemesis

The good news is that she's ok. She has turned her phone off as she's angry at me apparently. At least she's alright though.

- G

victory

OptimusNemesis wrote: »

The good news is that she's ok. She has turned her phone off as she's angry at me apparently. At least she's alright though.

- G

I always thought she would be;)

caeler

I suspect she's feeling a little hurt/confused/angry about your online argument so is deliberately ignoring you and appearing offline to you so you'll worry and perhaps feel how she felt.

If you are worried perhaps you could call a family member/friend and ask them to check in on her and tell you she's okay.

[Cross-post, just seen your earlier response! Glad she is okay]

bagpussbear

I can understand that you are worried OP, and you just want to put things right by speaking to her, but it seems at the moment she just needs space and just doesn't want to speak to anyone. I think you need to respect that.

Calling the police after only 24 hours is a bit much at this stage (in my opinion) and runs the risk of her being very angry with you.

I hope things calm down and she is back in touch with you very soon though.

Edited - sorry just seen your update, glad she has been in touch!