Worried about girlfriend

OptimusNemesis

Hi,

I'm really worried about my girlfriend. We had a bit of a silly argument online last night and she abruptly disappeared.

She has been offline and her mobile has been switched off for about 24 hours now. One of the last things she told me was that she was not feeling 'mentally stable' as her Gran died last week.

I spoke to her yesterday and she mistakingly thought that that I was going to dump her - before I could explain to her she went offline. I put it down to her being angry but 24 hours later and her mobile has been off all day and she hasn't been online at all.

This is highly unusual for her - she normally chats to friends and family online and does quite a bit on Facebook and there is no sign of her.

Unfortunately I do not have a contact number for her other than her mobile. I've posted on her Facebook page asking if anybody has spoken to her in the last 24 hours and to just confirm that she is ok. I haven't had any response yet.

I have her address but, short of flying over to where she is (she is in Northern Ireland and I am in England) I do not have any other means of contacting her.

Given how she was feeling, I'm obviously getting very concerned for her. I can accept if she is really annoyed or hates me to the point of leaving her phone off completely and, given the choice of that or something worse, I would obviously rather it was that and at least knowing she was ok.

Other than the things I have already tried, I'm not sure how else I can find out. Does anybody have any ideas?

I'm hoping that I am worrying for nothing but it is very out of character for her and she has been quite down recently.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks

- G

lippy1923

Can you contact any of her family members? Sometimes people leave their mobile numbers on fbook, so maybe get one of their numbers from there and give them a quick call to voice your concerns.

missindecisive

you know...maybe she just needs some space.

marisco_2

She is grieving at the moment for a close relative. It appears due to a misunderstanding, that she is under the wrong impression that you wished to end your relationship.

Obviously this is worrying for you but for the moment you have done all you can, bar flying over to where she is, which I dont recommend at this stage. You have left messages and tried to see if her friends have heard from her.

You dont mention your girlfriend having family based where she is. So can it be assumed that she is a young, capable woman, carving out a career and life for herself? I would give her some space to sort herself out a bit. Let her contact you when she is ready to talk. Rushing her now may leave her feeling pressured and be more than she would want to deal with.

I hope you will hear from her soon and that things work out for you both

OptimusNemesis

missindecisive wrote: »

you know...maybe she just needs some space.

That's fine if that's the case, I just want to know if she's ok. Like I said, she's not been in a good place for the last few days and this is out of character for her. If she doesn't want to speak to me, I'll respect that but I just want to know that she hasn't done anything silly. She was very down.

- G

meritaten

Don't you have any mutual friends? either in NI or on effbook? contact one of them and tell them you just want to know she is ok.

OptimusNemesis

meritaten wrote: »

Don't you have any mutual friends? either in NI or on effbook? contact one of them and tell them you just want to know she is ok.

We do but they stay in touch via Facebook and her mobile. That's why it's very unusual for her to switch it off for so long - she stays in touch with just about everyone that way.

- G

meritaten

ok - I agree this is worrying. you wouldn't happen to know any neighbours names would you?
if it were me and she had a nosy neighbour/friend near by - I would phone them and ask them to check on her??

mummybearx

In all honesty, if you are truly worried about her and have no means at all of contacting her, you need to call the police where she lives.

Explain to them what you have told us, feeling depressed, no contact etc, they could send someone out to check on her x

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Oh Lord, I really hate it when I don't want to talk to someone and they pull the 'OH MY GOD I WAS SO WORRIED I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU'RE SAFE SO I STALKED YOU' thing.

In case you were thinking of doing it, just on my experience here, anything over three messages on the phone (being as charitable as possible here) is too much. TBH, more than one is annoying enough.

As is any email, call to relatives, visit to the house or anything other than just leaving me the hell alone whilst I get over it.




And if you tried calling the police, well - there's annoyed and then there's absolutely freaking furious.



Seriously, when I'm annoyed with somebody, I do not want them to harass me constantly, it just makes me even less likely to want to deal with them nicely - I have made the angry call after thirty messages in four hours 'What's the emergency then?' and got a lame 'well, I was worried because you didn't answer me'. And I have also answered the 'where are you? where are you? where are you? where are you?' stream of calls with 'I'm dead in a ditch'.

ognum

OptimusNemesis wrote: »

Hi,

I'm really worried about my girlfriend. We had a bit of a silly argument online last night and she abruptly disappeared.

She has been offline and her mobile has been switched off for about 24 hours now. One of the last things she told me was that she was not feeling 'mentally stable' as her Gran died last week.

I spoke to her yesterday and she mistakingly thought that that I was going to dump her - before I could explain to her she went offline. I put it down to her being angry but 24 hours later and her mobile has been off all day and she hasn't been online at all.

This is highly unusual for her - she normally chats to friends and family online and does quite a bit on Facebook and there is no sign of her.

Unfortunately I do not have a contact number for her other than her mobile. I've posted on her Facebook page asking if anybody has spoken to her in the last 24 hours and to just confirm that she is ok. I haven't had any response yet.

I have her address but, short of flying over to where she is (she is in Northern Ireland and I am in England) I do not have any other means of contacting her.

Given how she was feeling, I'm obviously getting very concerned for her. I can accept if she is really annoyed or hates me to the point of leaving her phone off completely and, given the choice of that or something worse, I would obviously rather it was that and at least knowing she was ok.

Other than the things I have already tried, I'm not sure how else I can find out. Does anybody have any ideas?

I'm hoping that I am worrying for nothing but it is very out of character for her and she has been quite down recently.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks

- G

I agree that if this is unusual behaviour I would be worried too.

If you have her address and can you google to find someone who lives nearby or as someone else suggests I think you could call the NI police and ask that they check.

This of course may be over the top, and it may be that she needs some space, has lost her phone or is just teaching you a lesson.

Try to find someone who will check on her somehow!