leaving children on their own?

poet123

Spendless wrote: »

He was 9 3/4. 3 months off his 10th birthday and 18 months off leaving Primary school since HE didn't want to come, HE pointed out he wasn't 2 years old and HE made the comparison to his older cousin who clearly wasn't capable of being left in charge of a microwave aged 18. I am quite happy that he was mature enough to be left for the length of time he was..

And He should not have been the one to make that decision, as a parent it should have been your call, and you will say it was,;) but your emphasis on him says differently to me. I think there is a huge difference between nine and 18, and would agree there were issues with that 18 year old. That doesn't justify or equalise the issue at hand.

Spendless wrote: »

Pretty much impossible to do that here if you wish to work. 95% of childcare stops at age 12/end of yr 6. The small amount that continues is not compatable with f-time working hours. You're pretty much stuck unless you have a term-time job, part-time hours or famiy/friends able to help out.

Then you adapt your working hours/your partner's working hours/ensure you do have family or friends to help out to ensure your children are adequately supervised. There really is no argument for me here. If you have children then you have to adapt to their needs. Supposing childcare ended at school age, do you just leave them because it is not available? We have all faced choices with our children and the ones we make have to ensure they are adequately catered for. A wing and a prayer won't cut it.

[Deleted User]

The trouble is theres a lot of if, buts and maybes about this grey area. It comes down to the maturity of the child at that age. My two boys were outside playing in all weathers when aged 9 and 11, anything could of happened to them. We worry ourselves silly over the things that could happen, but they could happen when we are around.

zagfles

Shepherd1 wrote: »

On the bus there are other people who would be able to help and support him, who is going to provide that support if something happens in the hour he is at home alone.

Support him with what exactly? If he's happy to be on his own for an hour, if he knows how to use a phone, and is mature and sensible enough to not do anything silly, then what exactly are you worried about, that couldn't happen to anyone who's alone?

Kids vary greatly in maturity, and it's a judgement call for the parent, but I know for certain that leaving my kids alone at a similar age was no greater risk than taking them out with me.

lindseykim13

I know the op has sorted this now, but i would no way leave my 10 nearly 11yr old and 8yr old alone at home.
They could cope they are not stupid but you can't predict what 'could' happen. An accident, burgler, someone calling social services whatever -they need someone near by just in case imo.
Theres a couple of kids where i live who were getting left alone from age 7 & 8 all the mums and dads speak about how they aren't being looked after properly, i keep quiet! I'm surprised nobody has been round there though.

Shepherd1

zagfles wrote: »

Support him with what exactly? If he's happy to be on his own for an hour, if he knows how to use a phone, and is mature and sensible enough to not do anything silly, then what exactly are you worried about, that couldn't happen to anyone who's alone?

Kids vary greatly in maturity, and it's a judgement call for the parent, but I know for certain that leaving my kids alone at a similar age was no greater risk than taking them out with me.

The difference is he is 9 years old and not emotionally able to deal with a situation if he is seriously injured or if someone breaks into the house. Yes it could happen to anyone but he is a child not an adult.

zagfles

Shepherd1 wrote: »

The difference is he is 9 years old and not emotionally able to deal with a situation if he is seriously injured or if someone breaks into the house. Yes it could happen to anyone but he is a child not an adult.

How would he deal emotionally with getting seriously injured in a car crash (or seeing his parent get seriously injured)? Or getting mugged, or run over? Bad things can happen when out and about, and are generally more likely, than bad things happening at home in the same timescale.

The big proviso is that the child is confident in being home alone, knows what to do (within reason) in an emergency, and can be trusted not to do anything silly, or even slightly risky. We wouldn't allow ours even to eat when home alone.

Like I say it's a judgement call. I know I made the right decision for my kids.

trevorsminted

Surely it is ok to leave a baby in cot for a few hours too? Just curious as not like they can do anything ie get out of crib, just a friend has an 8 month old and never gets out now, surely an hour pub at bottom of road, in fact baby monitor may even work its so close to the house!

zagfles

trevorsminted wrote: »

Surely it is ok to leave a baby in cot for a few hours too? Just curious as not like they can do anything ie get out of crib, just a friend has an 8 month old and never gets out now, surely an hour pub at bottom of road, in fact baby monitor may even work its so close to the house!

Ooh, nice strawman Of course, as long as the baby is capable of using a phone - you could chat on facebook every 10 mins just to make sure he's OK. He could let you know if his nappy needs changing.

tango

trevorsminted wrote: »

Surely it is ok to leave a baby in cot for a few hours too? Just curious as not like they can do anything ie get out of crib, just a friend has an 8 month old and never gets out now, surely an hour pub at bottom of road, in fact baby monitor may even work its so close to the house!

Would not advise, but my mother left my sister in her silver cross pram in the garden for ages even rain and used to pop to the shops ! But that was the 50's for you

Re leaving children I would be less worried about leaving one than two or three, the more there are = more trouble !

FBaby

Shepherd1 wrote: »

The difference is he is 9 years old and not emotionally able to deal with a situation if he is seriously injured or if someone breaks into the house. Yes it could happen to anyone but he is a child not an adult.

A 9 year old will be emotionally able to deal with emergencies if he has been taught to do so. Of course, to teach a child how to cope with emergencies, you have to believe they could do so...

I totally agree that the difference in maturity amongst children the same age can be vast. Every single school report my children have had mentioned how very mature they were for their age. I can see it too when I have some of their friends over. My son looks and sounds about 2-3 years older. Most people who meet him assume he is at least 2 years older (he happens to be very tall too which contributes) and can't believe he is still in primary school.

Example of his attitude: He will make sure that he has switched off the sockets in his bedroom before he goes to sleep. He will ask me if I have locked the back door before we go out. Just remembering now, when we went on hols abroad last summer, he asked me if I had remembered to get travel insurance when we were on the train!

Shepherd, I understand that you would feel the way you do if your kids were immature but mine are not, so you can't compare.