leaving children on their own?

Spendless

The 1st time I left my son I hadn't planned it. He came home from school and I had a 1hr window whilst his sister was at an after school activity to go and get something on a special promotion and likely to run out as a Christmas present.

I asked him to accompany me, he didn't want to. I agreed that he could stay home on the condition that the front door was locked so he couldn't open it to anyne and the back door open so he could escape if he needed to and rang hubby and asked him to ring after so long to check he was ok. With this agreed I started to walk out the door and he called after me 'can I make myself something to eat in the microwave?' I said No:eek: and he replied that he wasn't 2 (he was 9 3/4) and he wasn't <insert cousin's name> either, who on her first day at Uni blew up the microwave as she 'didn't know you couldn't heat stuff up in it still in the tin'.

That made my mind up he was old enough to start learning.

trevorsminted

Oh well spendless you and the hubby must have been so proud to have a child and be able to dump him on his own for a couple of hours, good on you what a sensible boy on his own and so much more mature than his older cousin. Gold badge for good parents!

trevorsminted

Who needs childminders from age 9 you can leave a kid home alone, gosh if only i had known that now, selfish me making sure a responsible adult was there when kids from age 8+ are sooo mature and sensible for their age. Lock front door but leave back door open for emergency, thumbs up to the responsible parents brigade

Spendless

Yes, thank you trevorsminted.:) We are really pleased that we worked on independant skills from the age of 9. It certainly came in useful when he went to Secondary school aged 11 since I live in an area where childcare becomes virtually non existant from end of yr 6. Really pleased that he knows how to walk out of a back door too.

poet123

Spendless wrote: »

The 1st time I left my son I hadn't planned it. He came home from school and I had a 1hr window whilst his sister was at an after school activity to go and get something on a special promotion and likely to run out as a Christmas present.

I asked him to accompany me, he didn't want to. I agreed that he could stay home on the condition that the front door was locked so he couldn't open it to anyne and the back door open so he could escape if he needed to and rang hubby and asked him to ring after so long to check he was ok. With this agreed I started to walk out the door and he called after me 'can I make myself something to eat in the microwave?' I said No:eek: and he replied that he wasn't 2 (he was 9 3/4) and he wasn't <insert cousin's name> either, who on her first day at Uni blew up the microwave as she 'didn't know you couldn't heat stuff up in it still in the tin'.

That made my mind up he was old enough to start learning.

Each to their own, but at nine I wouldn't have left that decision to him. I would just have told him we had to nip out.

FBaby

poet123 wrote: »

Each to their own, but at nine I wouldn't have left that decision to him. I would just have told him we had to nip out.

It depends on the personality of the child. My son has a tendency to lack self-esteem. He is much more likely to under estimate what he is capable of than the opposite. If he says that he can do something, I KNOW that he can do it, so to me, him saying he was happy to stay on his own was much more reliable than me deciding that he was capable of it.

Saying that, his friend is exactly the opposite, very self assured and he would claim he could go to school his eyes closed! Understandably, his mum doesn't make a judgement of his ability based on his assertions!

74jax

I walked home about two miles with friends to home, then was alone sometimes from 7.

My DD walked home from around the same age and I'd leave her at home from around 11. Having said that she was a child who was never in the house, if the sun shone she was out.

Carl31

In support of the op. It think 9 and 10 is a fine age to start being left alone without adult supervision. Not alone but with siblings and as long as they can use the phone, which most 9 and 10 year olds can do i imagine

Kids need situations like this to build confidence and learn independance. I was left alone from that age to look after my siblings, and i trust our kids to do the same.

Carl31

fawd1 wrote: »

Sorry, I haven't read through everything, but had to say that I think actually maybe you need to rethink your priorities. At 14, he is 2 years away from being allowed to get married, have a child and run a house. The fact that you won't let him be alone by himself is doing him no favours. At all. When I was 11, I was left not only alone, but in charge of a baby. And amazingly I didn't implode.

Absolutely agree with this

At 14 i was travelling into brighton with friends 10 miles away, and regularly looked after my siblings while my parents went out, cooked tbeir dinner etc. In fact i would have been pretty insulted by that age if they had not been able to trust me

You can see the difference at adulthood in those that were encouraged with independance, and those that were not

claire16c

I would not leave a child like that on their own unless they were on their own and of a sensible mind set, and not with siblings who fight.

I look after kids this age and the 9 year old will do things like, over run taps, spray water everywhere when making a drink, knock stuff over, fiddle with electrical stuff etc.

The 10 year old is a bit different, more mature and could probably be left for a short while - IF his brother was not there to distract him or fight with as thats when an accident is more likely to happen.

I think my Mum started to leave me for short periods when I was around 10/11, and then at 12 for slightly longer periods, like if she went shopping or something. Probably at around 12 with my sister there too as we fought, but being girls it wasnt physical fighting.

When I was 14 I started baby sitting for other people's kids.

I think it all depends on the child really.