Worst Time Of My Life Ever!

southwester_2

I offered to find somehwere tonight but she says she wants me to stay as long as I dont ask her questions

saffronflowers

Um - I dont think that is fair or for that matter she is taking responsability for her actions. I dont think that you can possibly sit in the same room and not ask questions. Explain this to her calmly and if she cannot give you a set time limit to talk, I would suggest staying somewhere else.

SFx

southwester_2

She is not a bad lady, this is so out of character and goes against her beliefs, that is why I am so shocked that she has done it

saffronflowers

SW - I am more than sure she is, hey you love her, but it really is not for her to say she does not want to talk.

I cant remember if you contributed to my thread re my husband the weekend before last, but I do know what it is like to feel so utterly betrayed.

I would not let him dictate things as it was him that had something wrong. You need to talk with her and she needs to appreciate that you need to because of choices she has made.

Please be strong for you but have in your actions kindness for her.

SFx

southwester_2

I will, I only shouted when I first found the text that led to the admission, since then I have only been trying to understand it but neither of us can talk without breaking down

onedayiwill

It is OK to break down with each other - it is to be expected and it will help you. It shows that you both care.

I am not going to pry into what is "missing" but since you know what it is ... is there any way to make progress on that once this initial shock is over?

I am rubbish with relationship advice. But know that whatever happens, happens, and you will get through it.

southwester_2

Oneday

Its a one way thing unfortunately and I cant do anything about it, I wish I could, god I wish i could but I cant.

She says she wished it was differant but it isnt and she doesnt know if it will ever be differant.

I really dont know, I am in complete turmoil and worried about everything, son, her, parents who we are very close too, everybody who loves and knows us.

We are going to relate tomorrow to try and get some answers, it wont be nice

saffronflowers

Nothing worth its salt is easy. Dont worry about her parents, she is probably more worried than you.

I am going to be really rude and ask quite a blunt question - do not reply if you dont want to.

Is the big problem your sex life and this is making it even worse that she has had an affair>

Well done for going to Relate, it will give you the structure to talk

Sfx

southwester_2

Ive told her that we have to sit down tonight and talk, there are questions I need answering and wont be able to move forward before I get them. I dont want all the sordid detail but I need to know how she is feeling

Sea78

SW- so sorry to hear about your problems, but I think it's great you've got the relate appointment and hopefully this will lead to the communication you both need and I do hope this leads to a better resolution than just not talking.

Good luck xxxx