Worst Time Of My Life Ever!

elantan

can you get the day off of work ? emergency leave or something ..i dont really think your in a fit state to be there you have too much to deal with

southwester_2

Boss now knows and is really supportive but I cant see being at home will help, I will be alone OH is out working

elantan

possibly not but do you have a friend you can visit?

saffronflowers

I think it is brilliant you have told your boss and also I think staying at work today is the right thing to do - cos you need the routine and distraction. You WILL get through this.

Maybe ask your partner to take tomorrow off and you as well so that you have the time to start talking.

SFx

Storm

Southwester,

If you're going to stay in work today (and I completely understand that sitting home alone isn't going to help!) can you choose something fairly logical but complicated to do? I don't know what you do for work, but I find spreadsheets actually very soothing when my minds in bits as I have to concentrate on them (so they occupy me!), but they're logical and the outcome is obvious (no creative thinking!)

Sending you a big virtual (((((HUG))))) and wish there was more I could do.

Storm x

southwester_2

Kittykat

When i first knew I wanted to find out where he lived and do all the manly things, part of me still does, I wouldnt let her see him she phoned him this morning. What I really need to know is that she doesnt have any stronger feelings for him but she wont answer that, she says she has feelings for him but loves me.

oops_a_daisy

Hi Southwester

sorry to hear your news, sending hugs and just to say take one day/step at a time. Try not to think too far ahead. Its good that your boss is being supportive.

all the best - OOPS

RAS

southwester wrote: »

she loves me.

It is very easy to start imaginging all sorts of things happening in the future.

Right now, every time that happens, ask your self "what did she say" and remember , "she loves me". Hold on to that. Stay with right now, rather then letting whatever awful things you can think of getting in your head.

And the wanting to do "manly things" applies even when to women. You have no idea how much harm I wanted to cause her. Got over it eventually.

take it one step at a time. It may not be the time to tell how exactly how you felt when you found out, they are your feelings and she has a lot of her own to deal with as well so th situation could get complicated. In a couple of days, it may be easier to talk.

Today concentrate onthe fact that she has told him it is over and tell her how you feel about that.

southwester_2

Thanks Ras, I will try to hold on to that

mrslawrence2003

southwester wrote: »

Having sat down and sorted out the money issues and admitting to my problem, I thought everything was going to be OK.

Then found a text on OH phone which led to her admitting to me she has been having an affair for 3-4 months.

I am devastated, dont know what to do, cant stop crying, she doesnt think there is anyway back from this, I am totally mixed up and havent slept for 2 days. The thoughts of waking up in the morning and not seeing my son there, telling parents etc etc etc is too much to bear

big hugs to you. i am going through something similar - my husband treated me very badly so i left to get some space. the moment i left he jumped into bed with someone that he'd been getting very close to for the previous 3 months....and all of a sudden my marriage is over. it is horrible - the worst thing in the world. i am four weeks in to all of this and i have to say that life is slowly starting to improve.

i still love my husband - as i'm sure you still love your wife......but you also have to look after yourself. i see you have a child involved - luckily we didn't have that. does she still love you? what led to her having the affair?

after all that's happened i still firmly believe that if you still love each other then you can get through this. it won't be easy but you can do it. if she doesn't love you, then all you can do is walk away and let her go - much as it hurts to accept this.