Low sex drive :(

twomonkies

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

You could look up local family planning clinics in your area and then ask for an appointment with a woman.Its not an unusual thing to request.
It might not be a hormonal issue it might be that you just dont fancy your partner?.Have you thought about that one?.He just might not be the one for you.
It could be also stress or depression etc if you suffer from these things.

No I definitely do fancy him! I really doubt anyone else would change the way I feel unfortunately Thanks for the help.

peachyprice

Another vote for the sexual health clinic. They don't only deal with contraception, you can discuss all aspect of sexual health with them, they are staffed by doctors and nurses who have chosen this field and are up to date with all the latest sexual health news.

They won't just send you away with a new pill and expect you not to come back, they'll want you to find something suitable and will do whatever it takes to find something that works for you.

It has to be worth a try, especially as you actually want to enjoy sex and do when you have it.

marisco_2

Have you ever had any negative sexual experiences? If so could this be causing a barrier to being intimate with someone, even someone you love?

twomonkies

marisco wrote: »

Have you ever had any negative sexual experiences? If so could this be causing a barrier to being intimate with someone, even someone you love?

No, fortunately. I enjoy the sex, it's just getting there in the first place. I just rarely desire to do it.

Netwizard

Whilst not really experienced in such issues, just thought I would pop by and say I didnt think this was so much of an unusual issue? I know of a few young women in their late 20s / early 30s, who are not bothered whether they have it or not (they have partners too).

I just put this down to the fact we are all different. Some people go at it like rabbits every day, some people can go years without and not think anything.

Hope you can find a solution that improves your relationship though. Good luck!

ninadam

wow op you sound just like me! :-( im 28, in a r/ship for 4.5 yrs, lived together for 18months. we are very much in love, get on great, rarely argue and i still think hes the most gorgeous man iv ever met....but it just doesnt occur to me either.... no sex drive at all!! it hasnt affected our r/ship too much because considering hes only 23.... he doesnt have a massive sex drive and i know this sounds bad but if he suggests it.... i just go with it now , i know once things are in "full swing" im ok! i enjoy it and we do feel closer afterwards & im like "why do i feel like this". he never "pesters" which would really turn me off and hes not wanting it all the time. eg, before today we hadnt done it for 3 wks, period was in the middle of that 3wks (sorry tmi!!)
i did have stage 1a1 cervical cancer 2 years ago, cus it was caught very early no major treatment just 2 lletz treatments (lasered) & i thort it cud b down to that as i felt a bit vunerable "down there" after but i dont now and nothings changed & i dont think i had a high sex drive before this happened so i dunno! i dnt think its helped but i dont think its the cause now.
i also feel the same with my GP as you....feel like he dissmisses me! looks at me like im a bit mental! lol + known my GP all my life & id just feel a bit weird talking to him about it!
im sorry i havnt got any advice for you but i totally know how u feel & its interesting knowing someone else has this prob.... cus all my friends just dont understand and ask if somethings wrong in our r/ship wen there isnt at all. we r really happy!?


all the best
N x

System

Have you always felt like this? Or has it coincided with any changes in life? Some people don't have particulary hight sex drive, others do. How are you feeling in general? Is it initiating sex that is the main problem for you as opposed to the actual deed itself?

Personally with my ex i had zero sex drive, but i think that was in part cos of my mh problems, since they have been resolved its gone though the roof with currrent bf

i second the family planning clinic, i go there for my pill and they are so muhc easier to talk to than my gp (though my gp is good fo everything else) plys they have drop ins so i can go whenever.

BugglyB

twomonkies wrote: »

Yes this is the thing, I find him attractive, I enjoy havinf sex with him. When we have sex when I wasn't really looking for it I enjoy it, its not that I don't enjoy it! I'm not stressed or unhappy or anything, our relationship is otherwise very good. There's nothing I can really put it down too. I think I have always been like this perhaps.

I don't do any exercise though! I know maybe this could help but I'm so, so lazy!

I would try giving exercise a go. Even if not for your sex drive, for your heart and general health its a good thing. When I exercise every day I find my sex drive rockets.

Another very personal question which you dont have to answer here is do you masturbate or watch any !!!!!! or read any erotica? You can't just rely on your partner for sexual stimulation.

If you are concerned about things and want to change you have to find out what makes you tick. Get a vibrator. That way you can have him 'join proceedings' when you are already turned on and worked up and you dont have all that awful bit where you're not sure if you want to while he is pawing at you

Dexters_Indignation

There are two cures for this situation.
One for you...
One for him...

Let me start with you,


The above if taken regular should improve the sex drive.

If this fails to cure you, plan B. Cure Him.
This should lower his...

Ladyhawk

There is a lot better erotica out there than 50 Shades. After 2 chapters I had to put it down cos it's so badly written!

I felt like you in my early 20's - turns out I just really didn't fancy my partner and hadn't wanted to face us breaking up. ( best thing he ever did for me was to dump me!)

I also had a problem when I was on the depo provera injection. It made me doolally with zero sex drive... In fact probably a negative sex drive as it made me fear sex. All sorted when I came off it.

Finally another vote for the local GUM clinic. They're are just so much more considerate and knowledgable than your GP on these matters. Maybe try the coil instead of the pill?