conflicts in retirement

monkeyspanner

Newly_retired wrote: »

We have had a number of conversations- progress.
We obviously have very different ideas.

He is not really interested in long holidays, but has agreed to a short break, in addition to the week already booked for the summer.

We have looked at several houses online and here again, have very different expectations. Some of his are unrealistic. I want less stuff and a simpler lifestyle. He wants a bigger place to house all his stuff.
At our stage of life, I don't want the maintenance of a bigger house. I want to downsize somewhat.

But at least we are able to talk about it.

Suggest a cruise. He can be in a different place every few days and you can have a long holiday. Sorry that won't work he can't take his stuff with him!

margaretclare

monkeyspanner wrote: »

Suggest a cruise. He can be in a different place every few days and you can have a long holiday. Sorry that won't work he can't take his stuff with him!

We've just seen a cruise ship at Tilbury, a huuuuge one registered at Nassau, Bahamas. London is probably one of the places they stop.

DH thinks 'this is a very passive kind of holiday'. By which he means, it's all out of your control. You get to see different places but...what do you really see? A few hours to see London, or anywhere else? But there are people who like this, same as there are people who like package holidays, because there is little decision-making to do.

margaretclare

Was talking to a woman at the pool yesterday and the conversation made me realise just how differently different people view holidays and what they expect from them. I mentioned we were planning a trip to the western isles and Highlands very soon, mentioned some of the places we were going to. She immediately assumed it was a coach tour because they'd been on one. We got talking, and she explained that in their eyes, for herself and her husband, a holiday is complete relaxation, no choice, no decision-making, it's all taken out of your hands from the moment you board the coach. The choice is made when you book the holiday and pay for it. Nothing after that. 'It's a rest'. You know you'll have a bed to sleep in, meals provided, comfort stops en route, the basic amenities taken care of, and importantly, no driving. Someone else does that. Well...

For us, that's the very opposite of what we like to do. We like to go as we please, stop when we please, stay in different places, often small B&Bs, farms and the like, get to places off the tourist trail and when we go abroad, not necessarily hear our own language spoken! DH puts the car into cruise control and says 'it's easy'. I wish I could help with the driving, but I can't, because he can't get into the passenger side. For that reason it would be difficult for him climbing into and out of a coach. However, it's what different people like, and just as well we're not all the same.

Savvy_Sue

My in-laws went on some coach holidays, and found it EXHAUSTING! Packing and unpacking every day, having to be at breakfast with your case ready by 9 am ... their experience has put me off too!

seven-day-weekend

I too would hate a coach holiday, although I wouldn't mind a cruise. My husband would hate the coach holiday AND the cruise! But we prefer to do our own thing.

pollypenny

I love coach holidays!

You drive through the countryside and see how people really live. You are high up, so have great views. I like to see the little workshops, the farms etc.

In Russia , we went from some opulence in Moscow, to women washing clothes in a stream, within about 30 miles.

Groups are usually a reasonable size and we learn a good deal about the countries we visit.

Did a cruise once! We saw the sea. Oh, and a few places for half a day. That was after queuing to get off the ship and finding our guide with his table-tennis bat thing and number 48!

No, it's up and at it early for us, see great sites or simply country, then arrive at hotel about 4 or 5, a swim, good meal, chat, a few drinks and bed 10ish.

Goldiegirl

margaretclare wrote: »

We've just seen a cruise ship at Tilbury, a huuuuge one registered at Nassau, Bahamas. London is probably one of the places they stop.

DH thinks 'this is a very passive kind of holiday'. By which he means, it's all out of your control. You get to see different places but...what do you really see? A few hours to see London, or anywhere else? But there are people who like this, same as there are people who like package holidays, because there is little decision-making to do.

Cruise ships come in all sizes. You can have the massive ones which are like floating resorts, or the smaller ones that can get into the more obscure ports - places you'd never dream that you would get the chance to visits.

You can be passive on the cruise if you want, but you can strike out on your own at the ports. You can research the things you would like to see, then work out the trains or buses to get there, and completely do your own thing. Only remember to get back the ship on time, because they won't wait for you.

No two people's cruise experience is ever the same, because there is so much opportunity to do it your way. I love my cruises - can't wait until September, I'm sailing from Southampton to the Black Sea on a 24 night cruise.

And before anyone asks, I've never felt 'cooped up' on the ship!

mumps

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Yay! Keep us posted.

We are viewing a ground floor flat in about half an hour. We're not ready to live in a flat yet, but it looks suitable for the future and we are going to see if it is possible to have it as a buy-to-let until we are ready to live in it.

How did the viewing go?

Newly_retired

Saw three properties and like one very much.

seven-day-weekend

mumps wrote: »

How did the viewing go?

The first one was unsuitable (bodged diy and only 49-year lease). The second one was lovely and had a renewed lease of 150 years, but had warm air heating with a most peculiar 'storage' type boiler, so we not happy about that. For the same price as the second flat we are considering a new-build Barratt flat for investment only. That's the easy option - easy to buy, no worry about maintenance, lease, wiring or antiquated heating and will rent with no trouble. We would sell it when we are ready to downsize and then will hopefully have more money towards our final home. Our mortgage broker assures us she can find us a mortgage for that amount as a buy-to-let, with the deposit we have available. Still thinking about it though.

http://www.smartnewhomes.com/property/Details/2507319/?utm_source=nestoria&utm_medium=XML&utm_campaign=newhomes&wt.mc_id=aggregator_nestoria

Hope Newly Retired's viewing went OK!