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Nice people thread part 8 - worth the wait
Comments
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'Yes dear' will pretty much guarantee row as far as I'm concerned
Me: Which do you prefer X or Y?
DW: I don't mind. You decide.
Me: No, I want to hear your views, so we can make a decision that suits us both.
DW: Whatever you decide is fine by me.
Me: I don't want to decide on my own. I need help, please.
DW: You know I always think your judgement is right...... By the way, those trousers you bought yourself yesterday, I took them back today. I didn't think they would suit you.
Me: Oh!
You mean that sort of row?
And notice that I've been skilfully left to decide between X and Y on my own.No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »To each their own....
Mrs McT can be a tad, how can I say this politely, 'highly strung' at times.
I used to engage in the rows, drama, etc, many years ago, but found it to be deeply unproductive.
What does work however, is undivided attention and complete agreement while she expresses her feelings and until she has calmed down, followed by meaningful discussion if needed.
So not the dismissive 'yes dear' (wouldn't dare!), but rather the understanding or empathetic 'yes dear' that allows for unlimited tantrum throwing and much stamping of feet with no fear whatsoever of it developing into a serious row.
It's all in the tone apparently....;)
That may be the understatement of the year....:D
Yeah, I am highly strung. (And like mrs mc as you have described her, pragmatic too, its a difficult combination). I can say this and laugh. So I think it is just highly strung. A bit taut at times.
Dh just seems to make me less taut. He will not engage with the rows, its not that he ignores me, he just sees me getting taut and after the first row (my doing) decided it wasn't how he was going to act next time, and he hasn't. Ever. He manages a difficult tight rope of looking like he is not ignoring me whilst refusing to add fuel to the fire in any way. Then either he smiles with his eyes but not the rest of his face, which makes me realise how silly I am being. Or sometimes he smiles beatifically and says, you look so sweet when you are cross/furious, and then I say ' are you laughing at me, and he says yes which makes me laugh at me too.
It sounds a similar tactic to yours, rally, but without the yes dear and with a lot of loving humour before the talking. But he takes the wind out of the sails before I get anywhere near a tantrum. He's got very good at it.
Fwiw, one of his siblings has a very similar temperament to me, and they were really close and lived alone together as teens so dh had years of training in prep for me.0 -
Is it wrong that I'm listening to Paul Anka.....
...and enjoying it?“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie – deliberate, contrived, and dishonest – but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic.
Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”
-- President John F. Kennedy”0 -
HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »Is it wrong that I'm listening to Paul Anka.....
...and enjoying it?
Is this a reference that should make me feel ignorant
Or just young :j:j0 -
lostinrates wrote: »Is this a reference that should make me feel ignorant
Or just young :j:j
Young.
Take a listen to some samples....
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rock-Swings/dp/B001KWBL0K/ref=dm_cd_album_lnk_alt
A swing/big band version of Nirvana's 'smells like teen spirit' is either absolute genius or very, very wrong.
And I can't decide which.... “The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie – deliberate, contrived, and dishonest – but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic.
Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”
-- President John F. Kennedy”0 -
HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »Is it wrong that I'm listening to Paul Anka.....
...and enjoying it?
Only if you don't know who Trini Lopez is. Apparently he's 76 today.
For the youngsters among us..... You may not know the name but I bet you know some of his hits 0 -
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Me: Which do you prefer X or Y?
DW: I don't mind. You decide.
Me: No, I want to hear your views, so we can make a decision that suits us both.
DW: Whatever you decide is fine by me.
Me: I don't want to decide on my own. I need help, please.
DW: You know I always think your judgement is right...... By the way, those trousers you bought yourself yesterday, I took them back today. I didn't think they would suit you.
Me: Oh!
You mean that sort of row?
And notice that I've been skilfully left to decide between X and Y on my own.
And you'll probably choose the wrong one (whichever you choose) 0 -
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PasturesNew wrote: »So .... that doesn't really count... and it might have been Belgium.... wherever that is. Not sure, it was about 35 years ago.
Talking of Belgium always reminds me --- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQRMFpbmgt0No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0
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