Nice people thread part 8 - worth the wait

lostinrates

SingleSue wrote: »

It was her first visit and I was far far away from doing well. I was doing very crappy to be honest...I'd laid out in the snow to die the night before.

See...laid out in the snow to die resulting in being inside and alive I consider doing well. Really well if you had no frostbite

michaels

lostinrates wrote: »

Good thoughts Michaels, Hope it all works out for the best. What ever it is

Would the metal of a trampoline be worth much anyway? Is it not tubular and this comparatively light?
Free cycle sounds a good idea.

Thanks LIR - I hope FIR returns with his strength replenished...

Today's 'result' is that you can double nectar points on both cards on one account and that although you are limited to 25=50 quids worth on one category (frozen, clothes, electronics, home, stationary) you can do more than one category. So far we have done 100 quids worth of clothes as they also have lots of half price kids stuff on the seasonal sale.

LydiaJ

fc123 wrote: »

To be fair LJ, the amount if energy you have to put into your life to support your kids (as the whole LNE thing was and still is a very traumatic experience for all involved) must be huge....+ maybe we only have so much energy to give? Your commitment to providing stability/safeness etc etc maybe absorbs everything out of you?
I wouldn't fret too much about it as it'll ease off over the next few years. We can't be zippy and wizzy all of the time...if we were we would all pop.

Thank you. I quite agree with your analysis of how reasonable it is that I have got into this state, considering the demands on my life. I don't expect to feel wizzy all the time. But I don't think it's unreasonable to want to have enough "get up and go" that sometimes I can choose to do things that nobody is making me do. It is also very clear that my current state of mental health is not at all good for DD, and I want that to change.

fc123 wrote: »

I know the baby /toddler stage is tiring/demanding but I found the age group that yours are in to be the hardest to parent as they are so aware at that age.

Thank you. That helps.

silvercar wrote: »

I agree with all this. Maybe also the thought of the inquest is stressful. Do you have to be there the whole time? Are you worrying about the kids being unsettled while you are there? Are LNE' parents going to be there?

The inquest isn't upsetting in the way you might think - it's all such a terribly long time ago (3.5 years since he died, nearly 8 years since he left and 9.5 years since I discovered he didn't love me any more), so I'm long past the feelings of loss and distress, and because of the burnout I'm too numb to feel much emotionally about it anyway.

I do feel quite strongly, though, that being there for the whole thing is something I need to do - for him, for my kids, and for myself. If I didn't, I would wonder for the rest of my life what I missed. The kids will have to cope - my dad has agreed to come and live in my house and run things while I'm away, several of my friends will help out, and I'll be able to come home at weekends and probably week night or two each week as well - the inquest will be about 2.5 hours away, and I'm hoping to be able to stay with my brother who's half an hour from it (en route from my house). Courts usually only sit from 10:00 to 4:00, to allow time for witnesses etc to travel, leaving the beginning and end of the day for everyone involved to get their paperwork done.

However, you're right that I have been pretty stressed for a while, assimilating the information that the estimate of the duration of the inquest has now doubled. It was stressing me because I felt that it's essential that I'm at the inquest, and essential that I'm at work, and I always feel worst when I have incompatible demands on me from different directions.

lemonjelly wrote: »

I seem to be coming down with terrible earache. I haven't had earache for years. Forgot how uncomfortable it can be!:(

Ow! Earache is agonising. Get it seen by a doctor immediately. Hope they can sort you out quickly.

zagubov wrote: »

Freecycle it so it's someone else's responsibility. Course there's no money in that but if you just want it to be somebody else's concern, that the way.

What zag said.

lostinrates wrote: »

I scored 65, I think, just going to try again. ( 66 this time) My job is my own ...and very low effort really. I am sure mine is other reasons. I'd be aware that health causes can contribute to a lot of the feelings. ( I know lydia seems very healthy, i just think other less sensible people might ascribe to burnout what might have physical cause). And I am positive nutritional deficiencies or imbalances do. Goodness knows you have enough to deal with to feel burnout, but perhaps worth a motivated but not stressful consideration of nutritional support while you take what other steps you can?

Lydia, you are a bit of a night owl too aren't you? As you felt better rested on the break maybe using melatonin or something to help with sleep benefit or diurnal rhythm?

These things we cope with ok when not strained can be really exacerbated when the keel is far from even!

Also, just quickly discussing test with dh we both felt it is one of those things where personality plays a part. I feel stressed partly because I am less stretched than i want to be, I am also a pretty excitable person.

65 is very high, lir. Please try to cut yourself some slack.

I am not sure how much sleep I need, TBH. When I try to get more sleep, I frequently wake earlier than intended, and so don't get much extra, but I am not sure if this is because I really don't need the extra, of because I have become acclimatised to managing with less than I really need. The main problem is that I do not have the self discipline to go to bed on time. I could do with a weight-watchers-style "stay-up-laters anonymous" meeting, really.

Likewise, nutritionally I would be better off if I could be bothered to cook myself varied and healthy meals at sensible times of day, but that's beyond me in my present state. At least now term has started we can all three of us have school lunches, so if what I do in the evenings is basic, repetitive and frequently late, it doesn't matter quite so much.

LydiaJ

michaels wrote: »

michaels's need more good thoughts at the moment

Thoughts and prayers coming your way, michaels.

SingleSue

lostinrates wrote: »

See...laid out in the snow to die resulting in being inside and alive I consider doing well. Really well if you had no frostbite

A very wet nightshirt and a confuzzled husband was the result :rotfl:

It was actually quite liberating laying in the snow (after I had done the woe is me)...but it got bloody cold very quickly.

SingleSue

Thoughts and prayers from this area too Michaels...

I scored 60 but nothing unusual for me. I take those sorts of test with a pinch of salt, others on depression have me on the severe depression, see your doctor now result....having had severe depression in the past, I know what I have is not severe depression.

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

53 for me, but I reckon that's probably normal for my line of work.

Obviously I'm just not trying hard enough....

Brallaqueen

Hello all, taking Almo's lead and re-de-lurking. How are all the characters in my fave genteel soap opera doing?

I'm sitting here, cat demanding affection, while I contemplate whether 7.30 is too early to hoover.

michaels

Brallaqueen wrote: »

Hello all, taking Almo's lead and re-de-lurking. How are all the characters in my fave genteel soap opera doing?

I'm sitting here, cat demanding affection, while I contemplate whether 7.30 is too early to hoover.

I was thinking the other day whether we (the NP) should take steps to increase the social and racial diversity of the thread

Always nice to hear from you BQ. Never to early to hoover.

Brallaqueen

I'm poor, does that help? Unfortunately I am unable to bring racial diversity to the table.